


Feels Like Fate

by ashisfriendly, c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Nanny, Eventual Smut, F/M, Kid Fic, Romance, Single Parents, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:23:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisfriendly/pseuds/ashisfriendly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben's a single dad in need of a new nanny for his daughter. Leslie's a grad student in need of a job and a place to live. But what seems like a simple solution soon becomes a lot more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who cheered us on for the 2 years we worked on this, especially bookworm03, who did beta-ing duty. 
> 
> This story is complete and edited. We will be posting a new chapter every Monday. We thank you in advance for your kudos and comments. We hope you enjoy.

There’s a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

Leslie parks her car and wipes her palms on her slacks. They’re black, so she can show that she’s a professional, but her top is bright red with white polka dots to show she's fun. Or something. She knows red is a power color and that slacks and a good pair of shoes are a no brainer, but the polka dots are a risk. 

“They’re fun! You want to seem fun, you know, with kids and stuff,” Ann said, squinting and shrugging as if she had no idea what she was talking about. 

But Ann is so smart and wise and beautiful so Leslie is wearing the button up blouse with the loud color and the fun polka dots.

She’s stalling.

Leslie sighs and steps out of the car, smoothing her shirt and gripping her padfolio. She practices a good stance, her back erect and shoulders squared, her chin up in a confident angle. She is great, talented, fun, and organized. Responsible, caring, a real go-getter. This family would be lucky to have her.

Also she really needs this job.

Sure, she hasn’t technically nannied before but she could use the free housing and the extra cash. Going to grad school fell into her lap like providence and would put her more on the map for presidency. 

But not long after celebration waffles over her acceptance letter, numbers started to add up and Leslie was running out of options. Student housing was just a bit too much for her grants to cover and the idea of roommates sounded awful. All her undergrad roommates were terrible and never studied and only partied and Leslie didn’t want to go through that again.

This could be the answer to all her problems.

Leslie picks a piece of lint off her pant leg and rings the doorbell. She likes this house already, with a bright red door and a three small square windows on the top. The doorbell is loud and chimy and the house is a bright, clean white with dark blue trim. A home, a beautiful one, one she no longer likes, but is now in love with.

The door opens and Leslie looks down at a small girl with a Belle costume on and her hair a mess of wild brown curls. The girl beams at Leslie, practically pushing on the balls of her feet with excitement and claps her hands together, the door swinging into the wall beside her.

“Leia, I said I would get it!” A voice in the back of the house booms, but Leslie doesn’t catch the source.

“Hi!” the girl, presumably Leia, says.

“Hello.” Leslie smiles, crouching. “I like your dress. Yellow is one of my favorite colors.”

“My favorite color is yellow, too. And pink. And green. I like all colors.” She taps her chin and the wind catches her curls, brushing past her brown cheeks. “Actually, my favorite color is rainbow.”

“Good choice,” Leslie says, nodding.

“Sorry, hi.” 

Leslie looks up and a man with Leia’s eyes looks down at her, a little frazzled but put together with a full suit, his hair throwing off his entire appearance. It is brown like Leia’s, but straight and everywhere as if it was styled that way.

He sticks his hand down to her and Leslie realizes she should stand. She does, grasping his hand, large and steady in hers.

“I’m Ben Wyatt, you must be Leslie.”

“Yes, Leslie Knope.” 

He breaks the handshake and puts his hand on Leia’s head of curls.

“This is Leia--”

“Daddy.”

“Oh, yes, sorry.” Ben nods and bows a little to Leia. “I mean, this is Belle.” He shifts his eyes to Leslie, with a hint of knowing and almost a shine of play.

“Oh, right.” Leslie curtsies and Leia giggles, a high pitched wonderful sound that makes Leslie’s insides sing.

“Anyway.” Ben clears his throat and stands tall again, smoothing his tie and angling his chin in a way that makes him look suddenly very serious. Leslie tries to adjust her body accordingly. “Come in, have a seat on the couch, let me just get Leia set up with something.”

“But Daddy--”

“No, Leia - I mean Belle - Daddy needs to talk with Leslie for a little while. You can even play with the iPad.”

Leslie listens to them bicker a little, while she takes in the house. The living room is clean except for a few stray toys and art supplies strewn around, but even those look perfectly placed. The couch looks plush and comfortable and the TV is big with an endless supply of DVDs next to it. There’s a large bookcase with many hardbound books and comic books and picture frames, all coated with the finest layer of dust. 

She sits as Ben returns.

“Sorry, she’s, uh, very excited.”

“That’s okay,” Leslie says, placing her padfolio on her lap. She opens it and pulls out a resume and her references and hands them to him as if she hasn’t emailed them to him already.

“Great, let’s get started.” 

Again his voice changes and his posture lengthens. He’s handsome, there’s no denying, his jaw hard and his lips small, but pouty in a way that is confusingly attractive. His eyes are brown and warm but the warmth seems to be specifically for Leia because now they seem darker and serious. His hands are huge, flattening over a piece of paper before he clicks his pen, locking it between his fingers, poised over his sheet.. 

She glances at it, seeing typed up questions with room for him to write his answers. If she wasn’t so nervous she would admire his attention to detail and organizational skills.

But she’s nervous and it is too quiet.

“I like your tie.”

“Tell me about the families you’ve worked with before.”

“Oh, uh,” Leslie grips the sides of her padfolio but keeps her chin up. “Well, this would be my first nanny position, so--”

“You have no experience as a nanny?”

Crap on a crayon.

“No, not exactly, but I have worked with children before. For example, I have worked in many summer camps, have taught preschool through middle school rec center classes, I babysat a few times when I was in high school--”

“And when was that?” Ben starts writing.

“When I was in high school.” Leslie watches his pen move and talks faster. “So that would be almost ten years ago now.” 

That probably doesn’t sound promising.

“But the classes and summer camps I do every summer when I am home. And, I am CPR certified. I also have successfully wrapped a twisted ankle on more than one occasion and have fought many raccoons in order to save the lives of children.”

“I’m sorry, raccoons?”

“Yes. They are dangerous.”

There’s a tense silence as Ben looks over his other questions. He flips the page and scans those options as well. Obviously her answer to question one wasn’t conducive to the rest of his sheet.

“Well, Ms. Knope--”

She smiles, hoping there isn’t a tremble to her lips.

“Please call me Leslie.”

Ben opens his mouth but loud, fast feet thump on the hardwood floors. Leia rounds the back of the couch in a new outfit, a doctor’s coat and a stethoscope around her neck and papers in her hands. She shoves them into Leslie’s hand.

“Leia.”

But she ignores Ben and watches Leslie look through the pictures. They’re messes of yellow with pink scribbles. There’s a head with a smile and two arms sticking out of it and a mess of brown hair on one paper. And a crooked, wobbly circle that almost looks like a heart on another. Leslie flips through them and nods like a distinguished art collector.

“Wow, I like the colors here,” Leslie says. She gasps as she turns to another one. “This one may be my favorite.”

“They are for you, all of them.”

Leslie looks between Ben and Leia. 

“Oh, I don’t know if I can take these--”

“I just made them, I created art, Daddy says I’m an artist.”

“Well that is certainly true,” Leslie agrees, flattening the papers on her lap. She keeps the one with the face on top. “But are you sure?” She is asking Leia but she really wants the permission from Ben, but he won't look at her. He only eyes Leia with admiration and the tiniest hint of frustration.

“Yes!” Leia says and leans back on her heels and springs forward on her toes, her arms out wide in the most gracious and loud act of agreement Leslie has ever seen. 

“That’s very sweet of you, but Daddy isn’t done talking to Leslie.” 

Leia doesn’t seem to hear her dad.

“Who is your favorite princess?”

Leslie ponders for a moment. “Hm. Princess Fiona, from Shrek.” 

“Really?” Leia and Ben say in unison.

“Yeah.” Leslie wonders if she should pick someone else, but she stays true to her choice. Fiona is funny and sassy and gets stuff done and isn’t superficial and fell in love with an ogre. 

“Do you go to ballet class?” Leia asks.

“Oh, no, I never did ballet. Do you go to ballet class?”

“Yes!” Leia jumps with her answer and runs off.

“She’s going to come back with her tutu on.”

“I figured,” Leslie laughs.

Ben smiles, but clears his throat and looks back at his sheet.

“Well, tell me more about these summer camps. How many children did you watch at a time, did you have help?”

“I oversaw a group of twenty kids at a time sometimes, but it really depended on the age range and activity. I did some crafts with five year olds with a group of twenty kids with another counselor.”

Ben nods, writing. 

“I also taught rec classes with smaller class sizes of preschoolers. Like gymnastics with about eight children.”

He keeps writing, not looking up.

Leslie lets out a breath when Leia returns, tutu on her waist, the stethoscope still around her neck. She rocks back and forth, twisting her waist, suddenly bashful, like showing Leslie this outfit was a big risk, but very necessary.

“What moves do you know?” Leslie asks.

Leia doesn’t answer. She carefully places her arms above her head and turns, her small toes pushing on the hardwood floor and her little body turning with precision and a seriousness that matches her father. When she completes her circle, Leslie claps and Leia bows.

“Do you know songs?” Leia asks, suddenly confident and bubbly again.

“Yes.”

“Did you lose all your baby teeth?’

“I did, yes, a long time ago.”

“I have a wiggly tooth, see?” 

Leia steps up to Leslie and she smells like peanut butter and jelly and a small hint of watermelon shampoo. Leia pushes a tooth with her tongue, but it doesn’t budge. Leslie nods anyway.

“A lot of kids at school are losing their teeth, it’s a big thing. Leia hasn’t lost anything yet,” Ben explains.

“But when you lose a tooth, the tooth fairy comes! Michelle said the tooth fairy left her a doll,” Leia jumps again, eyes wide.

Leslie doesn’t fake her surprise. Last she heard, the tooth fairy just gave quarters. She looks at Ben and he only raises his eyebrows, rubbing his shadowed jaw. He must be a newcomer to the world of dolls and anything over 25 cents in exchange for a tooth.

Leia bounces over to Ben and jumps in his lap. The paper and pen fall from his grasp and he holds on to her. He smooths the curls from her forehead and smiles at her, his first genuine smile that doesn’t feel rushed to get back to the serious, hard hold of his jaw. 

For a flash, Leslie misses her father. 

“Anyway,” Ben says, standing up. He swings Leia behind his back in a flawless move that only comes with being a practiced father. She wraps her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. “That’s enough for now. Thank you for coming by, Ms. Knope.”

“Leslie.”

“Right, sorry. Leslie.” 

Leslie stands and thanks him profusely and reminds him her information is on the top of her resume. He nods and Leia waves and says bye over and over.

“When you come back, can we play with my hot wheels?”

Leslie shares a look with Ben.

“Maybe.” 

Probably. Definitely. She’s golden. Leia loves her, that’s all that matters.

“Thanks again, Leslie,” he says, opening the door.

Leslie steps out, her gifted art in her hands and waves behind her back. Ben shuts the door and she hears the click of the deadbolt and Leslie lets out a long, hard breath. 

“I like her,” Leia says.

The window is open and she can hear them walking around and more importantly, she can hear Leia’s excited little voice.

“There are more people to meet, padawan,” Ben says. 

Leslie’s shoulders drop, her heart falling with them. He’s right, of course, but she’s great, he should just hire her.

“But why? She likes princesses. And I like her.”

“Leia.”

“Daddy.”

“Padawan, this is a grown up thing, okay? I don’t want you to get your hopes up. You might even like the next woman who comes over.”

Leslie hears the house shake with Leia’s stomps and a door slam, but Leslie is already walking. Her chest is tight and her eyes sting but this isn’t worth crying over so she pushes it all back and gets in the car and drives fast, far away.

Somewhere along her route, her sadness turns to anger. It bubbles underneath her skin and makes her scowl with the glare of the sun coming through the windshield. She slams her door shut and stomps up the walkway to Ann’s apartment in a way that would make a tantruming toddler look tame.

She’s overreacting, she knows that, but she needs this job, and after meeting Leia, she _wants_ it.

“I deserve that job,” Leslie growls, flying through the door.

“How was--”

“I did everything right, his kid _loved_ me.” Leslie opens Ann’s fridge and pulls out a can of whipped cream, shaking it. “I know, I know, he’s being sensible and exploring all options, but come on.”

“Hi, Leslie--”

“And he had the nerve to tell me thank you like he actually enjoyed meeting me. If he did, then just give me the job already.”

Ann pulls out a bottle of wine and starts pouring, Leslie grabbing the glass automatically. 

She takes a sip and another and many more and a couple more glasses before Leslie finally slows down. Her heart beats a little calmer and she can breathe evenly and she finally feels light and airy, the world holding a delightful tilt. She’s still mad but it is a passive frustration.

“Leslie, you will find a job because you are amazing and talented and caring and any child would be lucky to have you kind of raise her.”

“Yeah,” Leslie agrees. She nods and relishes in the dull heat that tickles through her. Ann’s words are slurring but she’s so beautiful and wise. “But, Ann,” Leslie whines, “what about Leia? She does deserve me. We would have so much fun, I am fun.”

“You are so fun.”

“I am fun!”

They lay back on the couch and Leslie throws her legs over Ann, her eyes drooping and her anger diminishing completely into the sadness she left in the car. 

“What am I going to do?” Leslie asks, her eyes closed, her words a sloppy mess. “I need a job. Why is school so expensive? I just want to be the first female president and inspire young girls everywhere while changing the world.”

“You’ll find a job, and you’ll do all those other things, too.”

“But I want that job. I want Leia to be my other best friend.”

Ann rubs Leslie’s leg and tells her she’s allowed to complain about this for the day, but tomorrow they keep looking.

Ann is right, she’s always right, but Leslie can’t help how much she wants this job. Ben is a little serious and no fun, but his home is beautiful and Leia is… perfect. She’s imagined herself in that home already, living there and inspiring Leia by telling her about all the amazing and powerful women in the world. She could braid that wild curly hair and walk to ballet class with a tutu hitting her legs with each excited step. 

Ben calls an hour later to tell her she didn’t get the job. Ann watches her as Leslie nods and her stomach sinks the ground. 

“We decided to go a different direction,” he says, without a hint of remorse.

Ann has another bottle of wine open before Leslie hangs up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again everyone for you comments and kudos!

"Thank you, Mrs. Quill, I will be getting back to you." He closes his padfolio and sets it down on the coffee table next to Leia's juice cup. The woman nods as she stands up, smoothing her hands over her pencil skirt before shaking his. Her hands feel brittle and rough, but he doesn't think anything of it. 

"Thank you, Mr. Wyatt."

He walks her to the door and breathes a sigh of relief. Mrs. Quinn is perfect. She's been a nanny for over twenty years, is a registered nurse, she is everything he is looking for.

"I hate her."

"Leia," Ben sighs, "We've talked about this. It's a grownup thing."

Leia crosses her brown arms over her chest. "She smells."

Okay maybe Mrs. Quill did smell slightly of Ben Gay and Aspercreme covered up by perfume and there was definitely some cat hair on her shirt, but she was over sixty, it was to be expected. 

"And she doesn't know any songs," Leia continues as Ben picks her up and sets her the stool next to the island. He hands her some paper and her crayons so she can draw while he fixes dinner.

"I'm sure she knows some songs," Ben says, wondering why he's even allowing himself to have this conversation. " I'm calling Mrs. Quill tomorrow and hiring her. That's final."

He really should have known better. Because despite using his authoritative father voice and Mrs. Quill moving in on Saturday, the argument is clearly not over.  All he hears is his daughter's tiny voice in his ear, issuing complaint after complaint. "She wouldn't let me watch Mickey  Mouse."  "She made me eat crust."  "She showed me pictures of her cats."

"If I promise to talk to her about letting you watch Mickey Mouse and cutting the crust off your sandwiches, will you promise to be nicer to her?" Ben asks, pulling on the door to go inside JJ's with the hand not carrying Leia. 

"Can I have chocolate chip pancakes?"

"We'll see." He presses his lips to her temple, breathing in her shampoo. She smiles broadly at him and he touches his finger to her nose. "Boop."

"Boop!” Leia sings. 

He puts her down, only for her to cry out, "Leslie!" and run and throw her arms around someone. It's not unusual for Leia to hug her teachers or the parents of the children she knows, but he's a little taken aback by her hugging a woman she barely met.  As Ben walks up to them to fetch Leia and apologize to Leslie for the inconvenience he sees Leslie's crouching down, the two in deep conversation. 

"She can't sing and she smells and she's old and not pretty like you."

"Leia, what have I told you about running off?" 

"Sorry Daddy," though she doesn't sound very sorry at all. 

"I'm sorry too," Leslie says, standing to her feet and meeting Ben's eyes. He can see hers are slightly clouded, so he looks away, unable to handle the twinge of guilt.  There's no reason to even feel guilty, Leslie Knope is clearly an intelligent woman, there's no reason to think she won't find a job more suited to her qualifications. And yes, it is clear that Leia likes her, but he's not about to hire someone based solely on whether or not his daughter likes them. 

No, Mrs. Quill was a good choice. The right choice. 

"You should eat with us!" 

"I think Ms. Knope was leaving, Leia." 

"Actually I just got here." 

"Oh." He makes the mistakes of looking down, seeing Leia's big brown eyes pleading up at him. 

Knowing what he's about to say, he sighs. "Would you care to join us, Ms. Knope?"

Please say no.

"I would love to!" 

"Great."

When they sit, Leslie slides into the booth so she's across from Leia. Ben notices the hostess doesn't even bother to give her a menu. 

"Waffles, Leslie?"

"Thanks, Rosanna." 

"And what can I get for you two?"

"I will have the turkey melt and iced tea, and she will have the kids chocolate chip pancakes and milk."

"Yay!" Leia claps. 

Ben turns to her. "Remember what we discussed. You're to be nice to Mrs. Quill."

"Is Mrs. Quill your new nanny?" Leslie asks, her voice almost too chipper.

"Yes." Leia pouts. "And she's gross."

Leslie frowns, shaking her head. "I doubt she's gross. Think about her, I'm sure there's something about her you like. Is she funny or wear cute clothes?"

"No."

"Hmm," Leslie says, her lips forming a thin line. "Well there must be something."

Ben watches the exchange, and he has to admit, he's curious to know what nice thing about Mrs. Quill Leslie will pull out of Leia. It is true, her new nanny is a bit of fuddy duddy, but she's experienced, damn it.

When did he turn into the dad from Mary Poppins? 

"Do you like ponies?" 

"I love ponies!" Leslie says, her smile as big as Leia's. "My favorite animal in the whole world is Lil Sebastian. I have a picture of us together, do you want to see?" 

"Yes, please!"

Leslie pulls out a photograph from her purse and shows it to Leia. Ben leans in to look at it. It was clearly taken a few years ago judging by her haircut in the picture, but she's beaming the same way she is now. 

"Why do you carry around a picture of you and a pony?" 

"Daddy, Lil' Sebastian is a mini horse. It's not the same."

"Oh."  Ben glances  at Leslie to share his plight but she's looking at him with the same expression as Leia.  "I'm sorry."

Their food comes and the conversation ceases while the three of them eat, although occasionally Leia will stop to ask Leslie a question. 

"Leia, it's time to eat," Ben says, keeping his voice soft so she knows she's not in trouble, but she really needs to eat. Although, given how much sugar is in those pancakes, she's probably going to be bouncing off the walls all night. Thank God it's a Friday. 

Eventually they all finish and Ben turns down the offer for a slice of pie and takes the cheque. 

"Let me pay for my waffles," Leslie says, pulling her wallet out of her purse. 

"No, I'll get it," Ben tells her. "Call it an apology for not hiring you." 

"Oh, well thank you. Wait, does that mean...?"

"Oh no." Ben shakes his head before she can finish her question. He doesn't want Leia to get the idea in her head  Leslie will be her new nanny. "Sorry. I just meant I know how expensive school is and you should be saving your money." 

"Oh."  Disappointment flickers on Leslie's face for two seconds and then it's gone, replaced by a smile when Leia shows her the picture she drew on the back of her kid's placemat. "Oh my god! Is that me and Lil' Sebastian?"

"Yes!" Leia says, hopping in her seat. "but you can't have it though. It's for daddy."  With that said, she shoves the drawing into his chest. If he didn't know better, he would think this is his daughter's way of punishing him, but he shakes the thought away. She's four. She doesn't know anything about manipulation.

*

"Okay, Leia, I'm going to work now, you be good for Mrs. Quill." 

Ben barely has time to react before Leia is her arms around his waist and burying her face in his thigh. "Don't go, daddy." 

Ben's heart aches for his little girl. "Hey, it's okay. Leia. I'm only going to be gone until five thirty, and then I will be home." He looks at Mrs. Quill. "She's never done this before." It's the truth. The first time he dropped her off at pre-school, she ran in and took a seat in front of the bunny's cage and said, "Bye, Daddy!"

So really her behavior makes no sense.

Ben kneels. "Leia, tell me what you want."

"Mr. Wyatt," Mrs. Quill says, her voice prickly. "It's best if you just go."

He knows she's right, but it's difficult to move considering Leia's now hugging him so tight he can barely breathe and his shirt is now wet from her tears. 

"Don't go." 

"You know I can't do that. But I promise, I will be home right after work and then we can have some fun, just you and me." With that, he kisses her forehead and stands up. "You two have a good day." He has to force himself to walk out.

He spends his day worrying, unable to concentrate on his work. when he goes home she throws her arms around him again, refusing to let go until he pries her off him. The pattern continues for the next several days.

On Friday morning Ben is shaken awake by Leia. He opens one eye and looks at the clock seeing it's six fifteen. His alarm is set to go off in fifteen minutes but Leia usually doesn't get up until seven at the earliest. 

"What is it, baby?"

"Mrs. Quill is sick."

A part of Ben thinks Leia is just trying to convince him to fire Mrs. Quill again, but then he hears the sound of someone throwing up from down the hall. 

"Oh. Well." He can't have someone sick watching his daughter. "I guess I'll go check on her. You can go back to bed." 

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Sure," Ben says, trading spaces with Leia, kissing her head and pulling the covers over her. Then he goes down the hall and knocks on the bathroom door. "Are you in there, Mrs. Quill?"

"One moment," he hears, followed by the sink running. She opens the door, her face gaunt and pale. 

"Mr. Wyatt, what can I do for you?"

"I think you need to go to the doctor."

"Oh, I'm fine. It's just a bug."

Ben raises his eyebrow. "Well, even so, I don't think you're well enough to watch Leia today. I have some cold and flu medication, how about you take some and go back to bed and I will call a sitter for Leia?"

"Are you sure?" Mrs. Quill asks, turning away to cough.

He tries not to gag. "Positive." 

"Thank you."

Ben nods and goes and finds the medicine, giving the bottle to her before going to call someone to watch Leia. 

Unfortunately, Ben only knows one person who might be available. 

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You don't think I'm good enough to be your nanny, but you want me to babysit?" Leslie asks.

"Well when you put like that…" As it stands , that's exactly what he’s implying. "I'm sorry, I just want someone with more experience watching Leia full time, but-"

"Okay I'm stopping you there," she interrupts, "because you're about to say something ageist and possibly sexist and I don't think you're really any of those things so you should just stop. I will watch Leia today, but not because you asked. I'm doing it for her." 

"Thank you. Can you be over in an hour?"

"I'll be there." She hangs up, leaving Ben listening to the dial tone.

When she shows up forty five minutes later, she's carrying a large tote bag. Leia, who is already dressed for the day, runs at her, throwing her arms around Leslie's legs while squealing her name. 

"Hi!" Leslie says, completely ignoring Ben, "We are going to have so much fun today. I bought all of my fun craft supplies and a picnic blanket. How would you like to go to the park?" She finally looks at him, her blue eyes bright as fire, "I assume it's okay to take her to the park."

"It's fine," Ben says, annoyed that she's basically promising Leia a trip to the park before consulting him. He doesn't mind if they go to the park, just as long as he knows and isn't manipulated into saying yes. 

"Great."

He spends most of his day staring at his phone, waiting for Leslie to to call him and admit she's not capable of taking care of a four year old before he realizes he's being unfair. Still, he worries enough to call during his lunch break. 

"Oh things are great here," Leslie says, before saying, "she's upstairs, third room on the left."

"What was that?" Ben asks. 

"Oh, it's not a big deal, I just checked on Laverne and she didn't look very good so I called Ann Perkins, my best friend and most talented nurse in Pawnee to come look at her."

"Oh. That's um, very nice of you."

"I'm a nice person, Ben."

"You're not nice to me." The words slip out before Ben can catch them. "How is Leia?"

"You asked that already."

"I did. I'm sorry. I've got to go," Ben says, regretting everything, "I'll see you when I get home."

He hangs up and stares at the crack on his ceiling. 

Damn it. 

Given the amount of crafting supplies and Leslie's promise to take Leia to the park, Ben walks into his house expecting a mess and a filthy daughter, instead he finds Leslie and Leia on the couch watching Finding Nemo. The house smells like glue but the walls and furniture are clean and his daughter's hair is wet and she's wearing her purple dinosaur pajamas, indicating she's had a bath. 

"Hello."

"Hi, daddy," Leia says, eyes focused on the screen. 

"That's it?" Ben asks, "That's all the hello I'm going to get?" 

"It's my favorite part," Leia explains. Ben looks at the TV to see the part where Dory and Marlin are in the whale. 

"Hey, Leia, I need to talk to your daddy for a minute, you watch this okay?"

"Okay!" Leia says to Leslie, who stands and gestures for Ben to follow her. He does, walking through their kitchen and catching a glimpse of popsicle stick bird feeders drying on newspaper on the table as well as a plate of chocolate chip cookies. They're far enough they can't be heard but close enough that they can still see Leia. It makes Ben nervous. 

"Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is Leia knows nothing and she's fine. The bad news is Mrs. Quill is dead."

"What?" It comes out louder than he intended, but he doesn't apologize when Leslie winces. 

"Okay first of all, that is why I'm not nice to you, and second, she didn't die here. Ann took her to the hospital and she died there like an hour later. Ann said she looked like she had been sick for awhile. How did you not know?"

"I didn't ask her any personal questions." 

"Right, you looked at her resume and the amount of experience she had and didn't think to look for anything else! You know, I really can't believe you, after…" she keeps yelling at him, and while he's listening, all he can really think is how pretty she is when she's angry.

"I'm going to go check on Leia," he says, turning around as fast as he can to get away before he does something stupid. 

He sits next to Leia and picks her up and puts her on his lap. "Tell me about your day, Leia."

"We made birdhouses and then we went to the park and had a picnic and then we came home and I took a bath and Leslie's friend Ann came over before we went to the park and she's really pretty but she isn't an artist but Leslie says that's okay because her beauty makes up for her lack of talent-" 

"So you had fun?" Ben asks, taking advantage of her pause for a breath. 

"Yes!" 

He kisses her head, and laughs. "Why don't you go play in your room, I need to talk to Leslie."

"Okay!" Leia jumps up and runs out of the room, movie forgotten. He pauses it though, so he can hear himself think. He can't hire her. She's too inexperienced, no matter how much Leia likes her, or how well she handled the situation today.  Which, if Ben's being honest, is probably better than he would have. 

"Well I better go," Leslie says, "so I'm going to just go say goodbye to Leia." 

"Wait." 

Leslie stills and slowly turns around. He doesn't miss the hopeful expression on her face, but he ignores it as he walks over to her and takes out his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Fifty."

"Fifty? That's all?"

"Fine a hundred. How much were you paying Mrs. Quill?" Leslie waves her hands. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to know. Just pay me her days salary and we'll call it even."

"Fine," Ben says, distracted by his growing attraction for her. He hands her the money, watches as she puts it into her pocket. "Thank you again."

Her lips twitch, just a little. And for a brief moment Ben wonders if it would ever be possible for him to make her smile for real."You're welcome." 

Ben listens at the bottom of the stairs while Leslie says goodbye to Leia and promises to see her soon. 

"I wish you didn't have to go." 

He sighs and leans his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He doesn't hear what Leslie says, it doesn't matter, because Ben's stomach is twisting itself into knots. He's going to hire her. Her. Leslie Knope, who has no experience as a nanny and has a giant sweet tooth and is far too pretty for his peace of mind. 

Hearing her footsteps, he opens his eyes just in time to see her staring at him. 

"I have one thing to say to you before I go."

"Okay." 

"I know I don't have any real experience as a nanny, but your daughter loves me and I really care about her and I feel I could be a good fit for this family-"

"Okay."

"Don't interrupt me, please. I am a good fit and I will be a good role model for-"

"Okay."

"Seriously, do you have to keep interrupting?"

"I meant okay, you're hired."

"For realskies?" Her brow furrows like she can't quite believe him. It's adorable. 

"Yeah. On a trial bases of course."

He's completely unprepared for the hug Leslie gives him, or the whiff of apple shampoo or how nice she feels pressed up against him. It's a good thing it's a quick hug. 

"Thank you, Ben." 

She leaves a few minutes after that, promising to be back first thing in the morning with her stuff. He closes the door behind her and goes to tell Leia the news.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, we thank you.

When school starts, Leslie feels like her life is in flash forward.

Every morning Leslie wakes up before the sun and hops in the shower before anyone else is awake. She lets her hair air dry so she doesn’t wake up Ben, whose alarm clock goes off at 6:30. Leia’s internal alarm clock, however, wakes her up around seven and Leslie always catches her before she can run into Ben’s room to bother him while he’s getting ready.

Leslie makes waffles for them every morning, the frozen, chocolate chip Eggos that Ben swears is the only thing Leia will eat. Leslie learns with some persuading, Leia will eat a banana, too. 

Ben comes into the kitchen around 8:00 and Leslie puts an omelet in front of him with a cup of coffee. He kisses Leia on the head, thanks Leslie, and scrolls through the headlines on his iPad silently. He takes awhile to wake, unlike his daughter.

Leia puts together an outfit while Leslie does the dishes. Then Leslie takes off a few bracelets or necklaces or puts Leia’s fairy wand back in her room before they are off to school, Leslie’s things crammed into a City of Pawnee tote bag and Leia’s lunch packed away in her ladybug backpack.

Leslie’s first week of school terrifies her. She’s no stranger to hard work or stretching herself thin but grad school may be her breaking point. Each syllabus has too many dates and papers and tests. She burns through her planner and when she stares at it, it actually scares her. She gives herself five minutes one night to freak out about it and then forgets the whole thing. She can handle it, she always does.

After classes, Leslie picks Leia up from school and they’re off to either ballet or karate or t-ball or grocery shopping. On the rare days where there is nothing to do in the afternoon, they go to the park. Leslie makes friends with some other nannies but all of them seem bored and upset about their families so Leslie finds Leia and pushes her on the swing or races her down the slide. 

At home, Leslie makes dinner and Ben walks through the front door. Leia jumps all over him and Ben listens intently about her day and leans against the counter, eating chopped vegetables or other things that are on the counter for dinner. He smiles at Leslie, the same grateful smile he always gives her.

Leslie doesn’t know what to do but shrug and smile back.

After dinner, Ben always insists he’ll do the dishes and tells Leslie to take a break. A break means she spends two hours in her room studying while Ben gives Leia a bath and puts her to bed. Around 7:15, Ben knocks on her door.

“Leia requests a book,” he says, in varying degrees of apologetic tones.

So she reads and Leia falls asleep, clutching Mr. Brownspots, her stuffed hyena. Leslie catches Ben watching them every now and then, listening in the hallway or leaning on the door frame. Sometimes he looks just as tired as Leia and sometimes he looks just as thankfully content as Leslie.

Leslie studies some more and at some point her eyelids won’t stay up and she rolls into bed and before she can dream of Joe Biden, her alarm goes off and it starts all over again.

\--

Leslie’s first test is tomorrow, in a statics analysis class that is not only boring but makes her brain swim. She never was an energy drink kind of gal, but at one o’clock her eyelids were starting to fall and she still didn’t understand how to calculate a margin of error or how to explain and show an example of a statistical model. So she bought a Red Bull at the 7-Eleven down the street. 

Now she is very much awake but still just as confused.

Leslie always leaves her door open a crack in case she hears Leia wake up, but she hears it open wider and turns, expecting to see a sleepy Leia, scared from a nightmare or in need of water.

But it isn’t Leia, it’s Ben.

“Oh, sorry.”

“What are you doing?”

“I thought you were asleep, I was going to turn off the light. I’m sorry,” he explains. His ears are turning a shade of crimson.

“No, I’m still awake, thank you though.”

Ben nods, keeping his eyes down. His red and blue pajama pants are hanging low on his hips and the legs are a little long, the material bunching around his barefeet. His t-shirt is blue and yellow with the words Disc-y Business placed around a frisbee player.

“Sorry again,” he says and turns to go, pulling the door behind him.

“Wait.”

Ben pokes his head back in and Leslie finally notices that they don’t talk very much, that talking to him feels so foreign even though she sees him every day and makes his meals and helps run his household. They share smiles and looks, usually about their adoration for Leia, but conversation? That is rare.

“Do you know anything about statistics?” she asks.

Ben’s eyes sharpen and he becomes alert and confident in the blink of an eye. He’s standing straighter with relaxed esteem and his hand grips the doorknob in excitement.

“Do I ever.”

“Would you--”

“I’d love to.”

Leslie sighs, smiling and thanking him as he sits down on her bed, across from her, her notebooks and textbooks scattered between them. She turns her book toward him and points to the equations that make her mind melt and Ben nods as she explains that she doesn’t understand any of it. She’s talking loud and fast, she blames the caffeine.

“Here, let me come up with an example because the book’s is too difficult.” 

Ben grabs the book and puts it in his lap, grabbing a notebook and a pen before jotting down numbers and letters. She watches, hoping she will make sense of it by just looking at the problem coming together.

“I don’t know why they would make it more complicated in an introductory textbook,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything.

Leslie shrugs anyway. She waits until he’s finished and he turns the notebook to face her.

“Oh crap on a crab,” Leslie whispers.

Ben smiles and Leslie looks up from the paper and meets his eyes. They’re patient but sparked, playful but determined. He looks down at the paper and back to her.

“It’s okay, it won’t bite you.”

Leslie shakes her head, her eyes rolling.

But he goes through it, explains every part of it to her, tells her why each step matters. He tries to formulate a simple, concise definition that she can easily memorize. He leans back against the wall and looks over her test prep questions while Leslie writes down his definition three times to get it to stick. 

“Is this class on a curve or do you get to drop your lowest test score or anything?” he asks, his head falling back on the wall.

“No, the universe isn’t that kind.”

Ben yawns with his laugh and Leslie looks at the clock.

“Oh, jeez, Ben, I’m sorry. You should go to bed.”

Ben waves her away, but stands, yawning again. This time Leslie catches it and matches him.

“It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep.”

“Well I’m glad my boring statistics homework could help you with that.”

Ben walks to the door with slow, sleepy steps, pointing at her. “Hey, don’t make fun of statistics. You’re going to need it when you do your thesis.”

“Don’t remind me,” she yawns.

“Go to bed, you know this stuff.”

“Not really.”

“You know it enough.”

“Knowing anything ‘enough’ doesn’t cut it for me.”

Ben smiles. “I bet.” A beat passes between them and Leslie has to break their gaze. Ben clears his throat. “As your boss, I order you to go to bed.”

“Fine, but only because I’m tired.”

Leslie closes notebooks and stacks them on top of her textbooks and places them on the floor. 

“You need a desk.”

Leslie didn’t realize he was still there.

“Oh it’s fine, this is how I did things in undergrad,” she says, putting another stack of books on the ground.

“Of course,” he says. “Anyway, goodnight, Leslie.”

Leslie stands up and pushes her hair behind her shoulders. Ben is at her door, one hand on the brass knob and the other scratching the skin above his hip.

“Thanks again, Ben. Goodnight.”

The next day, while Leslie is cooking dinner, Ben walks in from work with a big rectangular cardboard box. He picks up Leia and swings her around to his back, walking up to the counter. He snags a piece of bell pepper from the cutting board and puts it in his mouth and hands another piece to Leia.

“How was your test?” he asks.

“What’s in the box?” Leslie counters. But she knows.

They spend her usual, post-dinner two hour break in her room building her new desk. All three of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response has been amazing so far. Thank you all so very much! This is another short chapter but we promise things are starting to heat up. Enjoy this and happy Monday!

"Good morning, Ben,  Good morning Leia!" Leslie says, cheerfully as she pushes their plates towards them and then turns around to clean up, singing a Land Ho! song under her breath. Ben eats while reading the news on his iPad, occasionally looking up at Leia to make sure she's still eating. She picks at her waffle while she colors, but half of it is already gone so he's satisfied.

Mrs. Quill never made him breakfast. Neither did Leia's other nannies, now that he thinks about it. Sure, they made Leila her  frozen chocolate chip waffles, but Ben always had to fend for himself. Leslie though, found out how much Ben likes cheese omelets and makes him one every morning.

He wonders if she thinks she has to or if she's just being nice.

But then again, he's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Leslie wants to make him an omelet every morning then he will continue to eat them.

"You're not eating?"

"Oh I'm having brunch with some friends," Leslie says. Ben nods, remembering that today is Sunday and Leslie has the day off.

"Well, I hope you have fun."

"Thanks. What are you two up to today?"

Ben looks over at Leia who's still stuffing her waffle into her face and shrugs. "Oh, we're probably going to take it easy."

***

"Alright, Leia bear, what should I put in?"

"White Wedding!"

Ben chuckles and finds his Billy Idol album and puts it on.

"Turn it up!"

He does as she requests and soon is watching her as she dances frantically around the living room. It's a lot of arm waving and jumping around and her kicking her legs out. He takes out his phone and starts recording. She beams at the the camera, her brown curls bouncing every which way. The song ends, Rebel Yell taking it's place, but Leia keeps dancing, yelling "More, More, More!"

Ben's heart feels like it's going to explode.

Her tiny hand grabs his. "Dance, daddy!"

He doesn't try to fight it. He just allows himself to be pulled forward and does his best to keep up, mimicking her movements.

After the dance party, Leia takes Ben up to her room where they have a tea party with her stuffed animals. The tea is really apple juice, but there's Fig Newtons and delightful conversation, so he can't complain.

"The weather," Leia says, taking a sip of her tea.

"The weather," Ben agrees, biting into his cookie.

"What do you you think of the weather, Mr. Brownspots?" she asks her stuffed Hyena. She nods thoughtfully. "I agree. Don't you agree, daddy?"

"I do," Ben says, meaning it.

When the juice is gone, Leia yawns. "Sorry, I forgot my manners."

Ben laughs and looks at his watch. "I think it's nap time."

Leia makes a face expressing her dislike of Ben's suggestion, but then she yawns again. Ben stands up from his spot on her floor and scoops her up,  putting her on her bed. "Tell you what, you don't have to nap, but you do have to read quietly for an hour." He hands her a book. She still can't read very well, but she likes to pretend she can.

"Okay," Leia says, sounding even more tired than before. "Can I have Mr. Brownspots?"

"Sure." Ben gives her Mr. Brownspots and kisses her forehead. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Okay, daddy."

He leaves her room, stopping outside to listen to Leia tell Mr. Brownspots the story of the Frog Prince.

When he looks back inside, she's fast asleep.

He's in the middle of washing the dishes when the phone rings. Looking quickly at the the caller id, Ben smiles as he answers. "Hey, Sarah, how's-" Ben searches his mind trying to remember where Sarah said she was last. "Libya?"

"Hey, Ben." Often when Sarah calls she has to shout over the noise that surrounds her, but today all Ben hears is a gentle hum and a steady beep that he's sure Sarah has tuned out. She sounds tired, but there's a lilt in her voice that was rare during their marriage. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," he answers. "Leia's taking her nap if you called to talk to her."

"Actually," she says, sounding nervous now, "I called to talk to you."

Ben leans against the counter, gearing himself up for whatever Sarah's about to say. There's a part of him that wonders if she's going to say she wants to come home, but he gave up on thinking that was ever going to come true after she signed the divorce papers.

And really, he doesn't want her to. It took him three years to realize it, but Sarah wasn't his soulmate. Yes, she was important, yes, he loved her, yes he would be eternally grateful to her for giving him Leia, but she wasn't the woman he was meant to be with.

He leans back against the counter, taking a deep breath. It's rare that Sarah asks Ben for anything. "I was hoping it would be alright for Leia to come out to visit me in December."

Ben picks up on the word visit and nothing else. "Really? Yeah I'll have to see about putting in some vacation time but so close to Christmas or would it be Christmas---"

"No, Ben, just Leia." Sarah's voice is quiet now, steady and it makes Ben's heart stop.

"Sarah."

"I'm getting married, Ben. On the 18th."

The glass he didn't realize he was holding breaks in his hand, slicing his palm open. "Fuck!" He drops the broken pieces onto the floor and pulls the faucet lever up, his phone falling out and into the soapy water below.

And then he hears Leslie's voice, calling out a cheerful, "Hello, I'm home!"

Ben stares at his phone lying at the bottom of the sink and at his bloody hand, unable to move.

"Ben?"  

He looks up. "Oh uh, hey." He can see her looking around the room. "Uh, how was brunch?"

"It was fine," she says, getting the broom out of the closet, "stay still I'm going to clean this mess up. Where's Leia?"

"Upstairs, she should be waking up soon," Ben answers as he watches Leslie sweep up the glass. "Thanks."

"What happened?" she asks, throwing the remains into the trash.

"Oh, you know." Ben shrugs. "My ex wife called, I broke a glass, cut my hand, it's no big deal." Except is a big deal because now she's grabbing him by the wrist to look at his hand and her fingers are small and soft and she's standing far too close.

"I'm going to get the first aid kit," she says. "Stay there."

He lets out the breath he's been holding as soon as she leaves the room. Upstairs there’s tiny footsteps. Unless she wakes up hungry, Leia will usually play in her room for at least half an hour before coming to find him.

Ben's relief is short lived when Leslie comes back with the first aid kit. "Okay," she says opening the box and taking out a pair of rubber gloves and putting them on.

"Are you sure-"

"My best friend is a nurse, Ben and I've taken extensive first aid classes at the community rec center."

Ben sighs. "Okay."

"Does it hurt?" Leslie asks as she starts to clean the cut. He tries not to think about how her fingers feel on his skin. 

"No," he lies, "truthfully I'm more mad about my phone than anything else." He pauses, realization coming over him. "Fuck, Sarah probably thinks I hung up on her."

"Oh," Leslie says, and Ben thinks for a moment he hears disappointment, but he shakes it off, knowing it's probably just wishful thinking. "Um, not that it's any of my business, but what-"

"What did she say?"

She nods, pressing the bandage against his palm. "Yeah."

"Not much, just that she's getting married." Leslie gasps softly and Ben nods. "Yep. Uh, don't tell Leia yet okay? I need to talk to Sarah and-"

"No, I understand."

"Thanks," Ben says, and they fall into silence as she finishes bandaging his hand. Then she takes his phone out of the water and starts taking it apart. "Leslie-"

"We'll put it some rice and see if we can't get it to dry out. No use throwing it away until you know it can't be fixed."

Knowing there's no winning this argument, he just laughs and says, "Yeah, alright."

He has to admit, he kind of likes her taking care of him.   



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all beautiful starfish.

Leslie climbs up the curve of horizontal bars until she reaches the top of the play structure. She has a couple minutes to catch her breath. The bars are cold underneath her fingers, but she grips, looking to the sky as if it will give her the oxygen she needs.

Four-year-olds are fast.

Rain clouds are sweeping in with the gentle breeze that keeps leaving Leslie’s (and Leia’s) nose pink. They already spent a half hour kicking leaves and listening for different crunch sounds as they stomped through the leaf covered grass. Now Leia, Darth Princess, is chasing Leslie around the play structure. Leslie isn’t sure who she is exactly but she does know that if Darth Princess gets her, she will have to “obey her every command.”

Before Leslie can consider what her commands will be, Leia is carefully climbing up the bars. Leslie slips across and onto the shaky rope bridge, darting to the other side. She waits, laughing and panting, as Leia navigates the bars carefully and jumbles through the bridge. Leslie lets her catch her before going down the slide.

Leia follows, on her stomach, headfirst. She falls onto the tanbark and Leslie quickly tries to pick her up. Leia rolls on her back, laughter pouring out of her. It shakes her entire body, the sound rich and high pitched. Her face is red, eyes closed, and Leslie just wants to snuggle into her and absorb every ounce of joy and goodness that is Leia Wyatt.

She grabs her and picks her up, still shaking from her giggles. Leslie holds Leia tight and she hugs back, wrapping her little arms around Leslie’s neck. Another gust of wind catches both of their hair, and Leslie takes that opportunity to blow a raspberry on Leia’s unprotected cheek. She squeals and squirms from Leslie’s grasp. She lets Leia go and she’s off running. Leslie follows the screams, making roaring sounds as she goes. Maybe Leslie is a dinosaur now.

After fifteen minutes of running, Leslie sits on her usual wooden bench. Ramset Park is somewhat empty, the chilly wind and promise of rain keeping most families at home. She digs through her purse and opens her statistics textbook. She crosses her legs and places the book on her lap and gives the playground one last sweep. Leia is sitting on one of the steps that lead to the top of the structure, singing some song to herself while making shapes with her fingers.

Leslie watches her, the song endless and her movements clumsy. She looks so much like Ben right now, concentrating and slightly awkward. She definitely doesn’t have his hair, and her skin is a light brown against the pale contrast of Ben’s skin, but he’s there. He’s there in her big brown eyes and in her smile. When she furrows her brow while thinking of what sound an H makes, he’s completely there. But Leia, while taking on Ben’s love for things sci-fi and superheroes, has a complete burst of joy that Ben doesn’t seem to have.

Unless Leia is around. Since day one, Ben has been different when Leia is present. He is fun-loving, gets on the ground, likes to laugh and tickle. He plays along with Leia’s games full force. He smiles more, his shoulders relax, and he’s  _ happier _ .

Leslie tries to imagine him without her, always stiff as a board and going through life as if every moment is labored and annoying. She’s glad he has Leia to keep him from doing that thing where he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows constantly. It’s a look of total impatience that she catches when Leslie and Leia have ice cream sundaes after 7. He also sighs like the whole world is on his shoulders over the most mundane things. Like bumping his head on a cabinet door or stepping on a hot wheel.

There was a time before Leia, and he must have had something to keep him happy, then. What was he like with his wife?

Leslie thinks about him with someone he loves. All she can come up with is how he is with Leia, all dopey smiles, hair ruffles, and cheek kisses. Piggy back rides and hugs that last forever, until Leia’s little voice whines, “Daddy,” into his shoulder. But that’s a different kind of love. It’s almost impossible to imagine him with someone romantically.

Does Ben buy surprise gifts and leave them for his girlfriend to find? Does he like romantic dinners or would he rather stay in? Where does he like to keep his hands when he cuddles? Does he wait to say I love you or does he say it too fast?

Leslie shakes her head. She should be studying.

She looks down at her book and two drops of water fall onto the pages, leaving dark circles on the words. Leslie groans and waits, hoping it will go away. It does stop, but only for a moment, before starting up again. She closes her book and shoves it in her bag just as it starts to pour.

“Crap on a cuttlefish.”

Leia is in the grass now, spinning in circles with her head back and tongue out.

Leslie almost joins her.

“Come on, Leia, let’s go!”

Leia stops, stumbles a little on her feet, and shakes her head.

“It’s raining, we gotta go.” Leslie shrugs her shoulders in solidarity.

Leia shakes her head, her curls starting to flatten, but still lively as they swish across her shoulders.

“We can race home,” Leslie suggests. Leia only shakes her head. “We can have hot chocolate.”

Leia pouts a little and yells over the soft pound of rain, “Spin with me!”

Leslie tilts her head, channeling her inner Ben Wyatt. “Leia.”

“Please.”

“Okay, one spin,” Leslie says, stomping through the wet grass and brown leaves. Her shoes are already soaked through.

She spins, her hair plastered to her face. It’s cold and refreshing, makes her think of spring when her father was still alive. He used to yell at her from the backdoor to come inside, but the water was cool and the air was pleasantly warm and she didn’t want to go inside. Not yet.

They’re out for too long and by the time they are walking home, Leia is shivering. She’s still smiling, pushing the rain from her face every few steps. Leslie keeps her close and rubs her shoulders.

“Oh no,” Leslie whispers.

Ben’s car is in the driveway.

“Daddy’s home!” Leia screams, running down the sidewalk and up the cement path to the front door.

“Crap, crap, crap.” Leslie says the word like a mantra, like it will somehow keep her from Ben’s stares or lectures.

The door is wide open by the time Leslie gets there. There’s a trail of water from the front door, through the living room toward the hallway. Leslie slips off her shoes and as she shrugs off her coat, Ben walks into the living room with a thoroughly drenched Leia on his hip.

There’s that face. Chin down, head tilted, eyebrows up.

“You’re home early!” Leslie sings, her smile wide.

As if to emphasize her malfeasance, water drips from her bangs to her face. She blinks.

“Took a half day,” he says, “wasn’t feeling well.”

“Can I get you anything?”

Leia nuzzles into Ben’s shoulder and Leslie can see the water spreading on Ben’s t-shirt. Leslie walks to him and tries to take Leia but she clamps herself onto him like a lifeline. Ben kisses Leia’s head.

“I started a bath, I’ll get her settled and then could you take over?” His tone stings. He’s using all of his effort to put his aggression in his request, ignoring whatever he wants to really say to her for the sake of little ears.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, of course.”

He turns, rubbing Leia’s back. “Oh, Leia, you’re shivering,” he says, loud enough for Leslie to hear.

“Damnit,” Leslie whispers, hurrying to her room to change. She wrings out her hair in the kitchen sink and runs into the bathroom to switch with Ben.

He’s kneeling next to the tub, singing the shampoo song. It’s really just “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” with the words changed, so Leia rubs her hair long enough before Ben or Leslie rinses it. Leia’s little hands work and lather her hair, the very strong scent of artificial watermelon filling the small space.

“Hey, I can take over,” Leslie offers.

Ben looks over his shoulder and then back to Leia.

“Actually, I got it, maybe you have some homework to do or something,” he says, his words quick and cold.

Leslie takes a step back. “You said you weren’t feeling well.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Come on, Ben, go lie down.”

He hangs his head and gets up even though she can feel the resentment in the air. It looks like he’s struggling to stay put but his own body is betraying him. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers as he walks by her. “We got caught at the park.”

He stops and turns to her.  They’ve never stood this close to each other. Has he always been that much taller than her?

Ben takes a step from her and sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“Sorry, I’m just not—I am sick, I think. And she jumped in the bed and now the sheets are all wet and she was shivering and her fingers were so cold.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, I—”

“Ben.” He finishes the massage over his forehead and looks at her. “Go lay down in my bed and I’ll finish Leia’s bath and wash your sheets.”

Ben nods. He shuffles past her and Leslie looks back at the tub. Leia is pushing around a Barbie through the water.

“An umbrella wouldn’t hurt,” Ben says, sticking his head back into the bathroom. His smile is almost playful, or it could be whatever medicine he’s on.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and like raincoats? Have you heard of those?”

Leslie shoves him and he laughs as he disappears into the hallway.

\--

 

That weekend, Ben is feeling better and the rain lets up so he surprises Leia with a trip to the zoo. The trip surprises Leslie, too; Ben isn’t very spontaneous. She is more than a little disappointed he made this day trip on her day off.

Not that Ben could have possibly known how much Leslie loves the zoo. But she does love the zoo. A lot.

“Hey,” Ben says, knocking on Leslie’s bedroom door. She’s sitting on her bed, trying to ignore Leia’s excited squeals as Ben tries to get ready to go.

Leslie forces a smile and picks her head up. “Hi.”

“I’m really sorry” – Ben looks behind him, presumably for Leia – “and I know it’s your day off, but I would really love your help.”

The thought of packing Ben’s bag full of snacks and anything else he’d need for this trip sounds awful, but she is a grown up, and this is her job, so she should probably stop pouting.

“Okay,” Leslie says, pushing her textbook aside. She stands up and straightens her shirt. "What do you need?"

His brow furrows and he shakes his head. “No, I mean, I’d like you to come to the zoo with us.”

Leslie almost bursts.

“Yes!” She clears her throat. “I mean, of course, sure, whatever you need.”

Ben smiles and taps his fingers on the doorframe. “Great, we’re leaving in ten minutes.” He keeps his eyes on hers for a beat before his smile grows. “I knew you’d want to go to the zoo.”

Leslie rolls her eyes but he’s gone before she can reply. It doesn’t matter, anyway, he’s right.

It’s a perfectly crisp autumn day and the clouds are thick in the sky. Sometimes, the breeze moves the clouds past the sun and a beam finds it’s way to them, lighting Leia’s eyes with an excited gleam. As soon as they step through the gates, Leslie is nose deep in a map, planning a convenient and pleasant path through the grounds. Leia has run off to the gift shop but Ben is following her quickly, already trying to steer her away from the display of stuffed pink flamingos.

Leslie picks a route and finds Ben and Leia at the entrance.

“No,” Ben says. He reaches for Leia and tickles her sides and she fights the giggles trying to escape. “We don’t need any of this stuff,” Ben teases, using a gruffly voice that she’s heard him use in other disciplinary rounds with his daughter. It usually works to fend off a tantrum.

He keeps tickling her, reminding her that she has plenty of stuffed animals at home, and she fights her giggles until they finally burst through her pout.

“Ah ha!” Ben shouts, lifting Leia off the ground and onto his shoulder, his fingers still crawling up and down her sides. “She can laugh!”

Leia’s laughter echoes in the walkway and Leslie watches them. There’s that feeling of inclusive otherness, a total oxymoron that can only be explained by living and breathing a family’s life while being an employee. It comes in ups and downs. There are afternoons where Leia only wants Leslie to help with a booboo, and other days where she can’t let go of Ben’s leg before he goes to work. But it’s moments like this, when Ben and Leia are completely immersed in just each other, that she is hit with a whiplash of reality.

This isn’t her family. Not entirely.

Ben looks up and locks eyes with Leslie and she smiles, shaking her head. He runs up to her and kneels, Leia’s head toward Leslie’s face.

“She smiles, Leslie! She does!” he teases and Leia’s giggles buzz in her ears.

“Help,” Leia pleads between fits.

“Is that Chewbacca?” Leslie asks, pointing.

Ben dramatically turns and Leslie grabs Leia, pulling her from Ben’s grasp in a clumsy pass. They run up the cement path toward the reptiles, dodging strollers and families snapping pictures. They’re laughing, the cold wind on their face, and Ben runs after them.

“This isn’t over!” he yells.

They run until their lungs hurt and Leia’s little legs tire. Leslie screams when he catches them, and Leia claws at her for safety. Ben only gives a quick, “Ah!” and rubs Leia’s curls. He catches his breath and looks at Leslie, a spark of something she’s never seen before in his eyes. She’s seen him happy, sure, but this is different. Totally at ease, completely free.

As if one false chase scene in the middle of the zoo in October is enough to take all the weight off his shoulders.

 

After lunch, they’re at the penguin exhibit. Leslie leans against the fence and watches them waddle and flap around the man made lagoon. She always feels serene here, even though the exhibit is one of Pawnee’s most popular, and kids are usually crying and moms are trying to get their child to the front so they can see.

All of that is background noise, a faint buzz in her mind. The penguins are in the forefront, communicating with each other, splashing one another, and swimming in a clumsy grace that leaves a constant smile on her face.

She’s not sure how long she stares at them, it must be a considerable amount of time, but not nearly her longest (two hours). She only comes out of her penguin-loving trance because Ben’s voice breaks her out of it.

“Their distinct tuxedo-like appearance is called countershading, a form of camouflage that helps keep them safe in the water,” Ben reads, his finger following the words on the information plaque.

“What’s a tuxedo?” Leia asks and Leslie smiles.

“It’s like a really fancy suit. You wear it for very special days or occasions.”

“Like Christmas?”

“Well, I guess you could wear one on Christmas, but no, like a wedding.” His voice softens with the last few words, as if he couldn’t quite stop them.

Ben’s shoulders fall a little and his head dips but as soon as Leia asks her next question, he’s blinked it all away. Leslie leans her head on the fence and keeps her attention on them.

He answers her, points to the penguins and back to the placard as if it will help her understand the explanations. He ruffles her mess of curls and hears him say, “Try it,” before Leia waddles around like a penguin. Her feet leap off the ground and her hands, acting as wings, bounce up and down with each shift of her weight. He laughs and gives her a thumbs up, nodding excitedly with every skip of her feet. Leia shakes her behind and pretends to sit on an egg, maybe, it’s hard to tell, but Ben bows to her before he starts his own penguin imitation.

Leslie immediately giggles. Ben’s imitation is actually well executed. His arms are pinned to his side and he waddles from side to side, his hands bent as if to emphasize his wings. They both turn in a circle, meeting face to face again. Ben sticks his chin up like a proud animal and Leia bounces up and down until he bends to her and they rub noses, just like Leslie has seen penguins do a million times.

Maybe it isn’t hard to see Ben as someone who could love. He obviously gives himself fully to Leia, makes her world shine bright in the absence of her mother, gives her a loving home, and provides for her the best he can. On second thought, it isn’t hard to see how this translates into romance .

Leia tugs on the backpack over Ben’s shoulder and he takes a packet of fruit snacks out and opens it for her. She watches the penguins, nibbling the gooey sugar.

Leslie doesn’t know what happened between Ben and his ex, whose heart was left in pieces, or what circumstances drifted them apart, but there must have been a time when he was putting himself out there for her. Because that’s how he is; when he really loves something, or someone, he is all in.

She figures him as a man who likes to stay in, pampering a woman with her favorite meal and a night of cuddling. Why didn’t she see it before? Ben is obviously a cuddler, there to comfort the one he loves in any way he can. Extravagance is saved for the extra element of surprise. No one expects him to just pack up and go to the zoo, but when he does, it is special. He is still nerdy, still a bit of a numbers robot and someone who takes responsibility over anything else, but if someone pushes through enough, they’ll see he is so much more than that.

Just like she is seeing. Right now.

Ben catches Leslie’s stare and holds it. His lips slide up in a comfortable smile and it’s like something has let loose the army of butterflies that were waiting to be released in her stomach. They flutter now, and her palms begin to sweat, and she feels her heart speed up just a tiny bit.

Ben looks down to his hand in his pocket and digs out his phone. He nods Leslie over and as she walks, it’s like she’s viewing someone else entirely. Not her boss or Leia’s dad. Just Ben Wyatt, the man who is making her throat tighten and skin buzz.

She doesn’t even register him talking to anyone but suddenly he’s turned toward a woman that Leslie vaguely remembers from a rec center class she took years ago. She’s holding Ben’s phone, camera out, and telling them to smile.

“Me too?” Leslie, asks, touching her finger to her chest.

Ben places Leia in front of him and puts a hand in her curls. He looks at Leslie and nods, scrunching his face a little as if she’s being ridiculous.

“Of course.”

He wraps his arm over her shoulders and Leslie feels each point of pressure from his fingers, the heat from his palm. He squeezes just as the woman says smile.

Leslie does, not remembering to look toward the camera, and Ben is smiling too, his eyes locked with hers. The flash goes off and they blink, looking away.

“Oh, sorry, how about another?” the woman says.

This time, Leslie looks forward, the same smile on her face. When it’s over, Ben moves from her and she turns her head toward the spot on her shoulder that still buzzes from Ben’s touch.

_ Uh oh. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We thank you for your continued endorsement of all our behaviors. We hope you continue to enjoy and we love you!

The worst part about Sarah getting married is the way Leslie looks at him, with a mixture of pity, confusion and a third emotion he can't quite figure out, but somehow makes his body feel warm all over. He knows she's worried about him, but really he's fine. It's not like he really thought Sarah would come home and want to be a family again. 

It's not like he even wanted it. 

Sarah's always been more adventurous than him. He's pretty sure Leia gets it from her whenever she tries to climb on top of the monkey bars at the park. Truth is, Ben was never quite sure what she saw in him in the first place, or why she stayed as long as she did. He's always been more cautious. 

Leia was the reason. But as much as Sarah loves Leia, and Ben has no doubt that it's an unquantifiable amount, it wasn't enough. 

Sarah needed to go out and save the world. 

He's talked to her since breaking his phone. Diego's a doctor too. He's from Peru. That's where they're having the wedding. That's where they'll be living when they aren't traveling the world, kicking ass and saving lives. 

They both really want Leia to come. "I need her there," Sarah says and Ben understands completely. 

Really, Ben isn't sad that Sarah's getting married. He's jealous.

He wants a family. He wants to wake up every morning next to the same woman, kiss her good morning and snuggle close and breathe her in until they are forced to move.Then they'll have breakfast and see Leia off to school and they'll kiss each other goodbye. At night they will cuddle together on the couch, Leia between them. 

It used to be this dream woman was Sarah, but then it changed to some faceless woman he hadn't met yet. Now it's a certain blonde who loves penguins and waffles. He always buries the thought, underneath all the other impure thoughts he has when Leslie's around. She's his daughter's nanny, not some porn fantasy come true. 

But in his weaker moments, she's the one who comes to mind. 

Naturally, he deals with this this like an adult, which is to say he tries his best not to be alone with her longer than five minutes. Five minutes, it seems, is the absolute maximum he can go without wanting to tear her clothes off.  After that, he has to leave or hope Leia comes and interrupts. 

Right now is one of those moments. Leia is at her kiddie karate class and it's just them. Alone. In the same house. Together. And in the same room, because she wants his help. He's glad to give it, but he can see her cleavage every time she bends over.

He's a dead man. 

He's granted reprieve by Chris, who shows up with a box of bran muffins that Leslie glares at as she takes them to the kitchen. 

"Where's Leia?"

"Karate," Ben answers, looking at his watch. "But it's about time to pick her up."

"I can go get her," Leslie says, already picking up her things. 

"You sure?" 

"I've picked her up from her classes before, I think I've got it covered," she says, looking at Chris as if to say, _"Can you believe this guy?"_  before taking her books back to her room. Ben and Chris are still in the living room when she comes back down, her shoes on and hoodie zipped up. 

"Hey, you know I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant," Leslie says, "I was teasing. You're such a grump."

He watches the door closed and turns back to Chris. "You want a beer?" 

"I will take a bottle of water," Chris says, following Ben into the kitchen. "Sarah called me." 

Ben stills. It shouldn't surprise him that Sarah called Chris. They were friends before Chris set them up on a blind date, but for some reason, the thought of his ex wife talking to his best friend annoys him. 

"Yeah?" 

Chris' hand clasps his shoulder. "Are you okay, Ben Wyatt?"

Ben shrugs Chris away and opens the fridge, taking his beer and Chris' water out. "I'm fine." He is. He's had time to process the shock and resentment. So Sarah doesn't want to be a family with him and Leia. That's fine. It's her choice. And really, when Ben thinks about it, he doesn't want that. While he will always care about Sarah, and while she's incredibly important to him, he's not in love with her anymore. 

But try telling Chris that. 

"I know how you feel about her," Chris says, voice full of sympathy that Ben doesn't want, especially when Chris doesn't know how Ben feels about his ex wife, just what he wants Ben to feel. 

He takes a long drink of his beer and then slams it on the counter. "I'm not in love with Sarah, Chris." 

Chris just shakes his head, disbelieving, his eyes suddenly bright. It reminds him of when Sarah left and Chris had spent hours crying on Ben's shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" Ben asks, knowing he's going to regret asking. 

Chris sniffs. "I always hoped you two would find your way back to each other."

Ben's granted reprieve by his phone, alerting him to a text. He looks at the picture of Leia wearing her Karate Gi, in a fierce pose, screaming. He laughs, setting it as his wallpaper. Before he can reply back, another picture comes in, a selfie of Leslie and Leia, their faces pressed together and beaming. 

"I know!" Chris says, tears gone, beaming smile in its place. "I'll set you up! I know a woman at city hall who would be perfect for you!" 

Ben doesn't take his eyes off Leslie's photo. "You know, I think I'm good." 

Ben takes Leia costume shopping a week before Halloween. Leslie tags along, saying she needs a costume too. He immediately imagines her wearing a sexy nurse outfit, and then shakes his head of the thought, not only because it's perverted, but because he can't picture Leslie as a sexy nurse. 

"What are you going to be, Leslie?"

"I'm not sure," Leslie says, frowning at a scary clown costume. "Last year I was Batman." 

Ben immediately stops in his tracks. As a kid he'd save up his allowance and paper route money to buy the latest issue of Batman. He slept on Batman sheets, saw Tim Burton's Batman five times in the theater and even more when it came out on VHS. "Batman?"

She sighs, like she's heard this question a million times and is sick of it. "Yes. Batman. Not Batwoman or Batgirl."

"No, no. I uh, I think it's cool." 

She gives him a small smile that makes his heart pound.  "Thank you." 

"Daddy!" Leia pulls on his hand. He looks down at her, noticing a chunk of hair has fallen out of her pony tail. "I want to show you something."

"Okay," he says, "just let me fix your hair first." 

She makes a face of annoyance but huffs and turns around, allowing Ben to fix her hair. He holds the elastic between his teeth and looks over at Leslie, who's turned away and examining more costumes. She leans up to grab one off the rack and when she does, her shirt rides up, revealing pale skin. 

He looks away quickly, tying the scrunchie around Leia's hair. "Okay, what do you want to show me?"

She grins at him and pulls him over to the children's section, pointing at a Toothless costume. 

"Really?"

"You can be Hiccup!" 

Ben's not sure they make grown up Hiccup costumes, and he's about to use that as an excuse to go as something else, like maybe Ten and a Dalek or Obi Wan Kenobi and  Boba Fett, but then Leslie appears out of thin air, holding a plastic sword and shield.

"She's watched "How to Train Your Dragon" seven times this week. I had a feeling. All you need is a green tunic and a brown fur vest, which lucky for you, I happen to know a guy who has one."

"You're going to make a great mom." He blurts the thought without meaning to. "Oh um, I mean, you know, if that's a thing you want, I don't want to assume-"

"Thank you," Leslie says, cutting him off. 

He nods, grateful for the reprieve and looks at Leia. "So, Toothless and Hiccup huh?" 

Leia beams up at him, eyes warm and cheeks glowing. "Yes!"

While he's paying, Ben looks over at Leslie, noticing she's holding a pink satin jacket over her arm. "Is that what I think it is?"

"I don't know, what do you think it is?" She smirks, going over to the other cashier.

"I think I've got chills, and they're multiplying," Ben says, making his cashier turn away and snicker. Leslie though, just laughs and shakes her head at him.

"Well, you better shape up then," she says, signing her credit card receipt.

"What are you talking about?" Leia asks, furrowing her brow.

"It's a movie, sweetie," Leslie tells her.  "Those are some of the words from it."

"Oh," Leia keeps frowning though. "Is it good?"

Leslie looks over Leia's head, silently asking what she should say. He shakes his head, knowing that if Leslie says it's good, Leia will want to watch it. And while he's sure that most of the adult content will go over her head, he really doesn't want to risk having to explain those things to her just yet in case she does ask.  She nods, and looks back down at Leia. "It's very good,"- Ben groans- "It has very good songs, but the movie is something you will have to wait to watch until you're older. But, I have the soundtrack on my laptop at home; we can listen to it tomorrow while your dad is at work."

If it wasn't for the fact that his cashier is coughing at him wanting him to sign his receipt and it being weird, he would hug Leslie right now. 

In the morning she makes breakfast while Leia's still asleep, singing under her breath like usual, only instead of Tom Petty, she's singing "You're the One That I Want." He chuckles and she glares. "It's stuck in my head now."

"You know if you let Leia listen to it she's going to want to listen to it all the time, right?"

Leslie takes a deep breath, exhaling. "I'm aware. And don't worry, I won't let her listen to the uh, naughtier ones."

He smirks, steals a golden brown potato from the pan and pops into his mouth. It burns his tongue. "Ouch."

Leslie shakes her head, giving him a look that says, _idiot_.  "So what do you have today in the glamourous world of accounting?"

Ben ignores her sarcasm and starts telling her about the firm's latest case.  It never occurs to him to stop talking because Leslie never looks bored. In fact, she's staring at him, riveted as he talks about percentages and equity versus savings.  "So yeah," he finishes, "it's pretty exciting stuff."

"Oh god."  She practically moans the words and Ben can't help but imagine her moaning those words while underneath him.

He quickly looks away. 

"Data from Next Generation." They're decorating halloween cookies for Leia's school party. Or to be more accurate, Leslie is decorating halloween cookies and Ben is keeping her company and tasting her homemade icing. 

She puts a wart on a witch. "A suffragette."

Ben pictures Leslie in early 1900's fashion, holding a votes for women sign and feels his pants tighten. "Um. Luke Skywalker."

She reaches for the bag of orange frosting to start decorating a cat.  "Wonder Woman." 

Ben's glad he's sitting on the other side of the island. "A warlock."

"Glenda the good witch." 

"Really?" 

Leslie shrugs, smiles. "I was seven."

Ben laughs as Leia comes in, wearing her tutu and cowboy hat. "Howdy," he says to her. 

"Can I have a cookie?"

"You can have one after dinner," Ben says right as Leslie hands her one. Leia giggles, biting into it. Ben keeps his eyes on Leslie, hoping she can sense his displeasure that she undermined his authority. It's only after Leia leaves to go watch TV that he says, "You shouldn't have done that."

"It's one cookie, Ben." 

Ben shakes his head. It's not about the cookie, it's about respect. Her dismissive attitude rubs him the wrong way. "I'm her parent, Leslie." 

Leslie's eyes leave his, falling as she drops the bag of purple frosting onto the cookies and straightens her shoulders.

"I know that." 

"Really? Because it doesn't seem you do." He regrets it instantly. There's no truth in his words, they're just said out frustration. Before he gets the chance to apologize, she throws her hands up.  "Fine. If that's how you feel then you can finish decorating her cookies. I'm going to Ann's."

He watches her as she storms out of the kitchen, listening as she says goodbye to Leia and leaves. "Fuck." 

There's still over two dozen cookies left to decorate. 

Ben's waiting when Leslie comes in at ten fifteen. She ignores him as she walks past him into the kitchen, where only ten cookies are decorated because he realized his were terrible and quit, deciding an evening playing with Leia was a better use of his time. She grabs one of the bags and starts piping icing onto the cookies while he watches from the doorway. 

"Where did you go?"

"Ann's, I told you," she says, her voice clipped. 

"I mean, did you drink?"

She spins around, holding a bag of black icing up. "No, Ben, I did not drink. Not that it's any of your business, but I watched Friday Night Lights and studied for my test tomorrow."

He's not sure he heard her right."Your test?" 

"Yes, Ben. My test. You know you're a real jerk. I worked after hours, making these cookies for Leia, and yes maybe I was wrong for giving her a cookie but you could show a little more gratitude." 

Ben clenches his fists, counts to ten five times in his head, thinks about the time he saw his great aunt Mildred's dimpled thighs, everything he can think of to stop being attracted to her. "You have a test tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me? I would have just bought cookies at the store."

"Because Leia deserves better." 

Those are the words that break the camel's back. Ben closes the gap between them, grabbing her face, feeling her soft hair between his fingers and pushes his lips against hers. She makes a startled sound that makes him pull back, but then she's leaning up, kissing him with equal intensity. He loses himself in the moment, aware of nothing but how Leslie tastes like whipped cream and cocoa and how good she feels against him.

Then she pulls back, saying his name all light and breathy. Reluctantly, Ben takes his hands away and steps back. 

"You should go to bed, I can um, finish these." _I'm sorry I just kissed you, except I'm not sorry because I've wanted to do that for a long time and I will probably want to do it again._

Leslie blinks, as if she's unsure if she's awake or dreaming. "Oh. Okay. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." 

She nods, her eyes flickering toward his lips for a second before she gives him the frosting, their fingers brushing against each other. 

"Goodnight, Leslie."

"Goodnight." 

To say things are awkward the next morning would be a huge understatement. Ben is tired from staying up to finish the cookies and unsure of how to approach the situation because Leslie's quiet and won't look at him. She makes his usual breakfast though, so he counts that as a good sign. 

"Can I have a cookie?" 

"Not for breakfast," Leslie says before Ben can. Leia pouts, but then Leslie leans down to whisper in her ear, making Leia smile again. She throws her arms around Leslie, kissing her cheek. Leslie's cheeks flush red and she hugs Leia back. Ben's not sure what's made his daughter so happy, but if he had to bet money on it, it would be a cookie in her Dora the Explorer  lunch box. "Okay," she says, when Leia lets her go, "chocolate chip waffles and a banana?"

"Okay!" Leia says cheerfully. "Daddy can I play on the iPad?"

Ben slides it over to her. "ABC Mickey only." 

After breakfast, Ben grabs his briefcase and kisses Leia, telling her to have a good day and leaves. He spends most of the morning yawning and drinking more coffee than he should while he types numbers in Dr. Buttons, his trusted calculator, until he goes to have lunch with Barney. 

"You were so great yesterday in that meeting."

"Oh, thanks." Ben bites into his burger. He's never going to get used to how his coworker seems to worship him, but he knows there's nothing he can do about it, and for the most part Barney's a nice guy. He's probably the closest thing he has to a work bestfriend. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Barney smiles, lighting up in a way Ben's never seen before. "Sure!"

"Say you liked someone, romantically. An employee." Barney frowns but nods for Ben to go on, "And you're not entirely sure she likes you back but something happened-"

"Ben, do we need to go to HR?"

"Oh god no," Ben says, quickly shaking his head, "No, I'm not talking about anyone at work."

"But you said an employee."

Ben sighs and maybe it's because Barney seems trustworthy enough and maybe it's because he barely slept, he says, "It's my daughter's nanny."

"Oh." Barney says, followed by, "Ohhhhhh, no."

Ben drops his hamburger. "I'm screwed right? She's going to quit. No, she won't quit, she loves Leia. But-"

"What happened?"

"I kissed her." He tries to say it as flippant as possible, but fails if Barney's expression is anything to go by. "It's just, the whole thing's a mess. I didn't even want to hire her but she insisted and Leia loves her and then the nanny I actually hired died and then I find out my ex wife is getting remarried and wants Leia to go to Peru for her wedding and all I can think about is how I want her and then this happened."

"Ben, did you kiss her out of revenge for your ex wife?"

"Of course not," Ben says, "wait, do you think Leslie thinks that?" The two have nothing to to do with each other, but now that the idea is in his head, Ben can see why Leslie might think they're connected. "Fuck." 

Ben knows that even if he never gets the chance to kiss Leslie Knope again, he needs to at least talk to her, make sure she understands he didn't kiss her out of anger toward Sarah. He doesn't get the chance though, because as soon as he opens the door, a small dragon is grabbing his hand and insisting he put on his costume so they can go trick or treating already. He laughs, picks her up and kisses her cheek, smelling sugar on her breath. She kisses his cheek and he puts her down, looking over at Leslie who's sitting on the couch, reading a book with curlers in her hair.

"Um, hey." 

She looks up and smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Hey."

He wants to ask her to go outside with him so they can talk, but Leia's tugging on his hand. "I better go change."

"Me too," she says, closing her book. "Leia, you go play in your room while we change, okay?"

"Rawr!" Leia says, which Ben takes to mean okay because she hops up from the floor and starts up the stairs. 

Ben turns to Leslie, but before he can even say anything, she shakes her head. "I know we need to talk," she says, "but not now okay?"

He nods his agreement because she's right. The conversation can wait. She nods back, takes a deep breath and heads up to her room. He follows, wishing he could just turn her around and kiss her again. 

He can't take his eyes off her. They've been trick or treating for awhile now, going to every house that has lights up their street, filling Leia's plastic pumpkin with candy. By the time they reach the end of the block, he's carrying his tiny dragon and it's a good thing because he really can't stop staring at Leslie. Her hair has more curls than usual, her makeup is dark and seductive, the black top under the pink lady jacket leaves no mystery of how fantastic her cleavage is, but really, it's all about the pants. They're black satin and the way they form to Leslie's body will probably occupy Ben's thoughts for a long time. 

They get to another house and he puts Leia down, watching as she runs up to the door. He stays back, knowing he can trust Mrs. O'Dell. He's all too aware of how Leslie is beside him, taking pictures of Leia with her phone. "Do you have to take pictures of her at every house?"

"Yes."

Ben lets out a breath. "Okay." 

Leia gets her candy and runs back to them. "Kit-Kat!" she says proudly, showing Ben and Leslie the content of of her pumpkin. 

"Cool beans," Ben says, "Do you want me to carry you?" 

She nods, giving Leslie her pumpkin. Ben wants to joke that Leslie shouldn't be trusted with candy, but he refrains as they walk toward the next house. 

"Oh no, she's asleep." 

Ben chuckles. "This is a record. Usually she falls asleep by the time we reach the block." 

"Aww," Leslie says, "so I guess we should head back then."

"I guess." They walk in silence until they reach home. Once inside, Ben puts Leia to bed and her candy up in his room where he changes into his pajamas and goes back down to the living room, finding Leslie still in costume, texting. "So uh, I usually watch the first two Terminators, you want to join me?" 

"I'd love to," Leslie says, "but I promised Ann I would stop by her party."  

If Ben didn't know any better, he would guess Leslie's going to this party as a way to avoid having to talk to Ben about the kiss or spend any time with him alone. Yet, when he looks at her, he can see disappointment in her eyes. "Okay. Well, um, have fun." 

Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese are escaping from the Terminator when Leslie comes home. She doesn't say much more than a, "Hey," as she goes up stairs. Figuring it's Leslie's way of saying she doesn't want to talk, Ben sighs, takes a sip of his beer and continues watching as the Terminator does his best to kill Sarah. After a few moments Ben hears water running through the pipes. He tries not to think about Leslie in the shower.  Kyle is about to die when she comes back down, wearing a t shirt and a pair of pink sweatpants. Her hair is wet, make up gone. 

He can't take his eyes off her. 

She sits next to him, wordlessly going for the popcorn. 

"How was the party?" 

"Fun," Leslie says, "I'm tired though."

"Oh well if you're tired you should go to bed," Ben says, "I'm probably going to go too after this is over."

"Really?" Leslie asks, "I thought you said you watch Judgement Day too." 

"Usually, but I'm exhausted," Ben says, "I stayed up all night decorating cookies."

"That was your fault," Leslie says, rolling her eyes. 

"Probably."

The movie reaches it's climax and even though his eyes are facing the screen, he's not watching. Instead, all of his focus is on Leslie and how she's close enough that he can smell her vanilla body wash. He takes a chance and looks at her, only to find her staring back, her blue eyes dark and full of questions he knows he will need to answer. Her tongue darts out as she licks her lips and Ben finds himself leaning in. It's Leslie who closes the gap this time though, kissing him soft and unsure at first, but with each passing second the kiss because more confident, until her hands are in his hair and their tongues are tangled. Needing her closer, Ben picks her up and puts her in his lap, resting his hands on her back. 

Eventually the kissing stops, both of them needing to catch their breath. 

"I didn't kiss you because of Sarah." 

She  looks at him, saying nothing but staring like she's trying to read his thoughts. "Why did you kiss me, then?" 

Because he wanted to. Because she's beautiful. Because she makes him happier than he's been in years. Because he can see himself with her. Eventually he settles for the simplest explanation. "I've wanted to kiss you since the day I hired you."

"But you hated me."

"No," Ben says, wishing he could soothe her with more than just words. I like you, I think you're smart and beautiful and I'm extremely attracted to you, but if you don't like me back or don't want to have a relationship because I'm your boss, I understand. I just want you to know where I stand." 

In the moment that follows, Ben's absolutely sure Leslie's going to say she'd rather not kiss him again. His stomach twists as she appears to think about what he's said, so much that he almost wants to go throw up. 

She smiles though, taking his face into her hands. "Okay," she says, and then they're kissing again. This time Ben lets his hands explore under her shirt, tracing patterns into her skin with his fingertips. He listens carefully to every breathy moan his touch brings as he kisses a path down her neck toward her collar bone. 

"Ben?" 

"Mmm?"

"We should stop."

He doesn't want to stop though. He wants to keep kissing her, keep holding her, keep touching her. His mouth meets hers again and another few minutes go by where the only sound he hears is the beating of his heart and the air conditioner. Eventually though, the kissing stops and he rests his forehead on hers. "Yeah?"

"You're tired," she says, ever the voice of reason, "and if we don't stop now I'm probably going to want to do more than just making out." 

He smirks at her. "Yeah? I really want to do more than just make out." 

Leslie rolls her eyes and to his chagrin, gets off him. "C'mon," she says, holding out her hand. "Let's get you to bed." 

He follows without complaint. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos. You're all sexy salamanders and we love you.

Leslie and Ben are talking about a lot of things. They are talking about schedules, Tiny Dancer ballet classes, preschool snack assignments, how Leslie’s finals are going, temper tantrums, TV watching time limits, laundry, getting new snow boots, picky eating habits.  
  
But they never talk about what they’re doing.  
  
They aren’t talking about Halloween night, or any night after. They aren’t talking about the stolen moments or the incredible way their lips fit together, how Leslie can’t get over the soft, teasing touch Ben often leads kisses with. They aren’t talking about how Ben pulls her to him after she closes Leia’s door at night. He tugs and she falls into him and they lean against the hallway wall, smiling and kissing.  
  
There are kisses when Leia’s napping, kisses when she’s in karate, kisses late at night.  
  
But that’s all this is, just kissing. If there’s more, if there’s things they should know or feel, they aren’t talking about it.  
  
Leslie tries to justify that it’s okay to ignore it. They’re just kissing, kissing is harmless, kissing is something you did during truth or dare, spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven. It’s just lips.  
  
But then there’s a shift; then there’s more. The night before Thanksgiving, she’s prepping dinner as much as she can before she leaves in the morning for her mom’s house. Ben puts Leia to bed, then munches on chopped carrots while leaning against the counter. Leslie feels his eyes on her, can sense that small smirk on his lips.  
  
“Thank you for this,” he says.  
  
Leslie shrugs. “You’re welcome. I’m not really a cook, but I know tomorrow might be hard with just you and Leia.”  
  
Ben nods and takes another carrot. Leslie puts everything she’s cut into tupperware or ziploc bags. When she’s done packing the fridge, Ben grabs her waist and spins her around. She gasps as he pushes her into the refrigerator door and he covers her mouth with his before she can let out a breath.  
  
Leslie grabs his shirt and pulls him closer. He grinds against her and she claws at his t-shirt, begging him to be closer, to keep creating this blissful friction. He responds by opening her mouth with his, sliding his tongue along hers with a strong hunger.  
  
Ben pushes his hands up her torso, over her breasts. He palms them, smooths his thumbs over her, grasps her. She moans into his mouth and he pins her harder, hips first. Leslie wants him, in every way, but they haven’t crossed over into anything more than this.  
  
They spent three hours making out and dry humping a few weeks before. Leslie hasn’t done that since she was 16.  
  
But against the refrigerator, things are rougher, faster, with more want than she can control. Leslie figures if they are never doing more than kissing, there is no reason to talk about this.  
  
She forgets about that when he unbuttons her jeans. Definitely doesn’t remember ever thinking that when his fingers trace over her panties. Lower, lower, lower.  
  
Leslie whispers his name in a pathetic warning. If he heard it, he doesn’t show any signs. He kisses her neck, soft suckles that won’t leave a mark, as he pushes his hand under the waistband of her underwear. He groans along her collarbone, and says her name when he finally pushes on her clit.  
  
Ben shushes her against her neck but she feels his teeth move across her skin. He’s smiling, smirking, something he’s mastered since Halloween. This knowing snicker that lets her know he wants to kiss her, but he can’t. Not right now. Later.  
  
He slides down farther and Leslie spreads her legs, lets him in. Ben growls and pushes into her. It’s fast and a little hard, but it feels so good. She moans into his hair and he shushes her again, flicking his fingers up, causing her legs to shake.  
  
Ben licks his lips. He kisses her mouth as he spreads her, rubs his whole hand against her, dragging his fingers between her opening and her clit. He works all over her, it’s fast and the way his mouth moves against hers, the sounds he makes from the back of his throat, all of it lets her climb, right there in his kitchen.  
  
Her nails dig into his shoulders like a warning and he presses his mouth harder against hers as she moans, screams, whimpers with her orgasm. His hand quickly pulls from her pants and he cups her face and deepens their kiss, slows it down until they’re both breathing evenly.  
  
Leslie pulls on his belt.  
  
Then a door closes.  
  
They spring apart. Leslie quickly buttons her pants and smooths down her hair. She watches Ben softly walk to the hallway. A door opens as he turns the corner and she hears him and Leia exchange whispered words. She turns off all the lights and walks down the hallway.  
  
What if Leia saw them?  
  
Leia. They should be talking about Leia. Because this might be wrong for Leia, this might be confusing for Leia. It’s confusing enough for Leslie.  
  
Leslie listens to Ben tucking Leia back in as she walks by Leia’s bedroom door. She walks into her room and gently closes the door, pushing her back against it.  
  
Leia, she thinks, think of Leia.  
  
\--  
  
“Now, hold on--”  
  
“Leslie,” Ann says. Her smile overwhelms her face and her eyes are big, beautiful saucers. “You can’t drop something like that and not share details!”  
  
“I completely agree,” Marlene says, patting Ann’s hand on the table. “What is he like?”  
  
“No, this is not how you’re supposed to respond.” Leslie drops her fork, full of mashed potatoes, back on her plate and covers her face with her hands. “You’re both supposed to tell me this is a terrible idea and that I’m irresponsible and should put in my two week notice and run away to Tahiti and try to sell jewelry.”  
  
“Oh honey,” Marlene says, grabbing the plate of green beans that Leslie has been ignoring since childhood. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Knope women get what they want, occupational hierarchy be damned.”  
  
Ann drops her jaw and claps.  
  
“Noooo!” Leslie whines. “I can’t be sleeping with my boss. Or kissing my boss -- we’ve only been kissing.”  
  
Ann and Marlene both slump their shoulders.  
  
“But he’s cute, and you love Leia, so why not?” Ann asks.  
  
“Oh Ann, you sexy little fairy of sparkle and sophistication, not everything can be solved by ethnically blended hotness.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I’m just saying, this can’t work, right? It’s just going to confuse Leia.” Leslie takes another bite of her mashed potatoes. “And there is the possibility that Ben doesn’t even like me, he might just be using me to get over his ex wife and to help him finally get to dating exotic models.”  
  
Ann rolls her eyes. “Stop, you said he told you that wasn’t it, so nice try. And if he’s lying and he doesn’t like you, then he’s stupid.”  
  
“I think he likes you,” Marlene says. “If he didn’t, kissing the nanny, a good one at that, is a big risk. Doesn’t seem worth it just for some sex.”  
  
Leslie cringes. “We’re not having sex.”  
  
“Then it’s harmless,” Ann says, grinning.  
  
“Exactly,” Marlene agrees.  
  
Leslie’s head falls back against her chair. “Ugh. You guys suck, I hate you.”  
  
“Leslie.”  
  
“No, never, I love you both. You are the most powerful and inspirational women I know.”  
  
“Then fuck your boss!”  
  
“Mom!”  
  
Ann and Marlene laugh, high fiving across the table.  
  
\--  
  
The week of finals is a perfect storm.  
  
Suddenly, everything is due, there are so many tests, there are tutoring appointments and extra credit assignments. Sometime in October she agreed to help out a professor with some transcriptions, and her professor really needs some more help now. Leia’s parent/teacher conference is this week, not that Leslie will be there, but Ben is stressed about it and the prospects of kindergarten or transitional kindergarten. Ben is working later while everyone gets their end of the year finances in order, or as much as they can before the holidays, so Leslie is working longer hours, preparing more meals, cleaning more of the house. There’s gift shopping to do and Leia wants to play in the snow or catch snowflakes on her tongue and Leslie is so mad that she’s so tired.  
  
Undergrad was so easy.  
  
Leslie isn’t stressed, no, she’s just very busy. She may have overbooked herself, but her senior year of high school was much of the same. She was in seven clubs and playing softball and planning prom and getting A’s. Undergrad she cut back to two clubs. Still a lot of A’s. Still some internships. But it was easy.  
  
Not that this is hard. She refuses to think this is hard or unable to manage or that she can’t study for her analysis class while making sugar cookies and unloading the dishwasher. She can do all of them. And more, really, she just doesn’t feel like it.  
  
The house is quiet, Leia asleep and Ben reading in his room. He’s either rereading Game of Thrones or looking over kindergarten brochures. She vacuumed the house two days ago and found a stack of them almost as thick as one of those books on his bedside table. Leslie went to her public, neighborhood elementary school, but apparently Ben has different ideas for Leia.  
  
Leslie shuts the textbook and opens her page of notes for her Modern Political Thought class. In the corner of the page is a reminder for her to meet for study group. Three hours ago.  
  
“Crap on a cookie,” Leslie whispers.  
  
She turns the page just so the reminder won’t mock her anymore. Then she tries to quiz herself. This is a trick she learned freshman year of high school. She designed her notes so she could look at one color and put important dates in a different one. Names, places, anything she needed to know, she could color code. Leslie scoops out small rounds of cookie dough onto the baking sheet as she mumbles dates, names, events to herself. She also tries to remember to text Jessica that she is sorry she missed study group. And to look at her syllabus to make sure she didn’t miss an essay or something. She doesn’t trust herself now. But she’s fine. She has this.  
  
Leslie puts the cookies in the oven, sets the timer, and then reaches for the silverware basket in the dishwasher. She grabs her notebook and puts it on the counter above the drawer and starts to empty the basket as she glances over her notes.  
  
Two forks later, she turns the page. Three spoons after that, there are hands on her shoulders.  
  
Strong, familiar hands. Leslie tenses, startled, air rushing into her throat. Her heart races, and the sound of its beat is all that fills her ears for seconds. Until the fingers move, the palm presses close, and things start to melt away.  
  
First finals, then the missed study group, the cookies (even though she can smell them, and they smell like heaven), the wide open dishwasher that she’s always afraid she’ll trip on, the few emails that need to be answered, the messy kitchen, this warm house, the world, the universe.  
  
Ben’s fingers tighten and pull until her back is flush with his chest. He’s still kneading her shoulders, but now she can feel his body expand with each breath and the air that leaves his mouth tickles against her neck. She wants to turn to him, kiss him, but this feels so good. Biting into a fresh JJ’s waffle good. The pressure of each of his fingers is like the whipped cream, the hard circle of the heel of his palm like the crisp outside layer, the heat of his chest like the warmth from inside.  
  
Her head falls back on his shoulder and he kisses her head, pushes his way down to her neck with his nose. She gasps when his lips finally make contact on the skin. His hands stop.  
  
She groans. A terrible, almost bratty sound of torture.  
  
He laughs and it vibrates through her skin. His hands move over to her collarbone, firm against her breasts, down to her stomach. She’s practically liquid. He smooths his fingers across her belly, behind her back and up again to her shoulders. He kneads her there, just for a quick moment, before he pushes his fingers through her hair. He grips, lets go, then spins her around, backing her into the fridge.  
  
She’s pinned, Ben’s leg between hers, chest flattening, lips only inches apart. His eyes are open, wandering over her face, down to her breast. He’s breathing hard, like all of his self control is placed in his breath. Steady, hard, full of control. He licks his lips and Leslie swears she can taste him.  
  
She’s screaming for him to kiss her but he just keeps studying her. Controlling.  
  
“Looks like the dishwasher is empty,” he says, low, “and the cookies are almost done. I’ll get them out. Shifts over.” He swallows. “You need sleep to retain all that information.”  
  
“Uh huh.” It’s all Leslie can get out.  
  
“Goodnight, Leslie.”  
  
Ben gives her, a soft whisper of a kiss reminiscent of comfortable kisses shared with long time boyfriends. But he’s not her long time boyfriend, or any boyfriend at all, and the fact she's thinking about him in that way means she’s exhausted.  
  
Her legs are tingling, her fingers numb with want, but she’s tired. She’s light headed and her eyelids are heavy, and there’s no time to think if she should reach for him or give in to the exhaustion because he turns around and starts cleaning up the last bit of dishes from her baking.  
  
She almost invites him to bed. She can hear Ann’s voice in her head telling her to do it. She recites her journal entry from black Friday until it’s louder than Ann’s voice or her mother’s vicious cackle.  
  
<i>Do not have sex with Ben!!! You respect him too much, you care about Leia too much, you need this money to live, this house to stay warm. Do not fuck your boss, Leslie. No matter how cute his butt is.</i>  
  
She watches him dump the cookie sheet into the sink. His shoulders are strong and muscles taught through the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. She is screaming for him to turn around, to look at her once more before she goes, like she wants to burn the image of him into her brain. As if she doesn’t have every inch of him memorized.  
  
He doesn’t though. Doesn’t flinch when she grabs her books. But his hands do stop, right clenching a sponge and left holding onto the mixing bowl, both covered in suds, as she brushes past him to her room. It’s enough.  
  
For now.  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, kids!

Ben looks at his watch, then at the monitors, then at Leia, who's watching a cartoon on the ipad, then back to his watch, then to the monitors, then to Leia. He keeps repeating this until the word arrived shows up beside Sarah's flight.

After that, he skips looking at the monitor and just looks at his watch and at the exit from the gate area, timing her arrival. 

Leia notices and starts watching too, her body bouncing on the chair. 

Ben's heart pinches. He doesn't want her to go. 

Eventually, Ben hears Leia cry out, "Mommy!" and watches as she jumps up and runs toward Sarah, who's bending down, her arms open. Ben chases after her, yelling for Leia to stop.

"You know you're not supposed to run off like that, Leia."

"Ben." Sarah rolls her eyes. "It's fine."

It's not fine. It's a crowded airport full of strangers and wet floors. What if she slipped? What if someone grabbed her? What if-

He takes a breath. He's not going to win and he'll only get himself worked up. "Just be careful." 

"How are you, Ben?" 

Ben takes a moment to look at Sarah. She's beautiful, her hair perfect and skin glowing even though she's been on a plane for eight and a half hours. 

And yet, he feels nothing. There's no racing heart, no butterflies, no goosebumps. 

"I'm fine," he answers, going over to their seats to get Leia's pink backpack. "Her luggage has been checked, but her passport and tickets are in here, are you sure you don't want me to go, it's a long flight-"

"Leslie packed me a lot of coloring books and crayons, daddy."

Ben sighs. "Right."

"We'll be fine, Ben," Sarah assures him, placing her hand on his shoulder. He looks at it, noticing the giant diamond on her finger. She notices and shrugs. 

"It belonged to Diego's grandmother."

"Who was his grandmother?" Ben asks. "Queen Isabella?" 

Sarah gives him a look that says she's unimpressed by his joke. "That reminds me, I should call him," she says, putting Leia down. "I'll be right back."

She walks away, but Ben keeps his eyes on Leia, watching to make sure she's fine. Her eyes won't leave Sarah, as if she's afraid if she looks away, Sarah will vanish again. 

He knew this was a mistake. 

At one point in Sarah's conversation, she turns toward them and Ben catches her smiling. It's not a wide smile, there are no teeth, but it's happy nonetheless. 

Even at their happiest, Sarah never smiled at Ben like that. 

She hangs up and comes over, ruffling Leia's curls. "I believe we have an hour, would you two like to get something to eat?"

"Waffles!" Leia suggests, her eyes big and all of her baby teeth showing. 

"Waffles?" Sarah repeats, "What are you feeding our daughter, Ben?"

"Food, Sarah. You might have heard of it."

Sarah rolls her eyes. "How about…" she looks around at the various fast food chains. 

"Leia bear," Ben says to Leia, "there are no waffles here. How about pizza instead?"

Leia nods happily at the suggestion. He knew he could get her to eat pizza. 

"Pizza?" Ben asks Sarah, who shrugs as if to say, 'fine', even though she's clearly not enthusiastic about the choice. 

While Leia eats her slice of plain cheese and Ben cuts up his calzone that's probably been in the display case for two years, he can feel Sarah staring at him, sighing every so often as if she wants to say something. 

"Out with it, Sarah."

"Diego and I are taking a year long sabbatical starting in May-"

"Together? I didn't know they allowed that." 

"We caught a lucky break. And I want Leia-"

"No."

"It would just be for the year. We have a big house with a pool she can swim in and and she'll have the best tutors."

Ben keeps his voice even, wishing they weren't having his conversation. "Don't do this." 

"What's a tutor?" Leia asks. 

"A tutor is like a teacher," Sarah says, wiping grease off of Leia's chin. 

"Like Sensei Andy?" 

"Yes, but they teach you how to read and how to add numbers."

"Oh, like daddy!

"Yep, just like me," Ben says, smiling back at Leia. 

"Ben-"

Ben cuts Sarah off. "Not here. Are you ready, Leia?"

Leia nods and Ben helps her pick up her trash. He holds Leia's hand as they leave the eating area and go over to the same chairs they were at before. 

"Leia, why don't you take out one of your coloring books and color while me and mommy have a grown up talk." 

He keeps Leia in his view, only stepping far enough so she can't hear him. 

"Look, Ben-"

"Sarah, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean, I want my baby-"

"What's the name of her favorite stuffed animal?"

"I don't know? Barney? I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"It's Mr. Brownspots, the hyena. What song does she want you to sing to her if she gets scared in the middle of the night?"

"Ben-"

"It's "Shiny Happy People"," Ben tells her. He wishes it was one of the other songs from R.E.M.'s catalog, but nope. It's that one. 

"Fine!" Sarah throws up her hands. "I get it. I'm not a good mother!"

Ben glances at Leia to make sure she didn't hear. She's sitting on the floor, content to keep coloring. 

"But I want to be," Sarah continues. "It would just be for a year. Come on Ben, give me the chance to get to know my daugher." 

Ben's too selfish to say yes though. He still remembers the way she used to cry, asking when mommy was coming home. If they lived closer, if Ben knew he could go get Leia every time she had a nightmare and wanted to come home, maybe he would feel differently. But year is a long time, and Leia would just get attached. 

And she would just get her heart broken again. 

"I know you feel guilty for not being around." Ben finishes for her. "Sarah, Leia knows you love her."

"Does she?"

"But a year is too long. I'm sorry."

"I miss her." 

Ben follows Sarah's line of sight to Leia, her nose scrunched in concentration as she colors. It doesn't remind him or himself or Sarah though, but rather Leslie. "I know. We'll work something out. Maybe she can visit in the summer or during Christmas. But not for a whole year."

"Okay. I get it," Sarah says, nodding. "She's just getting so big. I've missed out on so much." 

Ben doesn't remind Sarah that it was her choice to leave them. He glances at his watch and sighs. "It's time to go."

Sarah wipes her eyes. "You're going to let me take her?"

Ben closes his eyes, imagines what would happen if he broke his promise and took Leia home. 

"Of course I am, Sarah. I'm not a monster. But if she doesn't come home in two weeks I will come after her. And I'll be bringing her nanny, who you do not want to mess with."

Sarah quickly hugs Ben, abling him to smell her citrus perfume, then she goes over to help Leia put her coloring book and crayons back into her bag. 

"Okay, give me a hug," Ben says, reaching down to pick Leia up when she jumps into his arms. 

"Bye, daddy!" 

"Bye, Leia bear." He doesn't want to let her go. 

Ben waits until they're through the security line and out of view to start the long trek home.  
-

The house is empty when he gets home. There's a note on the fridge from Leslie saying she's gone to get groceries, punctuated with a cute drawing of a monster. He smiles at it and opens the fridge to get a beer. 

He's halfway done with it and yelling, "Gone with the Wind" at Wheel of Fortune when Leslie comes in, hands full of groceries. He stands and goes to her, taking one of the bags from her. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he says, following her into the kitchen. "You know you didn't have to get all this. It's just us for the next two weeks."

"I know, I just went to the store for milk and I ended up splurging."

Ben pulls out a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka. "I see that."

"I was going to take that to Ann's. I didn't think you would be interested."

Ben looks at the bottle and thinks. His daughter is on an airplane going to Peru for two weeks, his ex wife said she wants to keep her, and he's falling in love with his daughter's nanny. 

"Get some glasses," he says, "we're opening this bottle."

-  
"College, freshman year," Leslie answers, taking a swig before passing it to him. "Your turn."

"Sophomore year of high school." 

"Really? That early?" 

"My dad had a bottle of scotch open so I took a sip. It was disgusting."

Leslie giggles. "But that's not getting drunk. I wanna know when you first got drunk."

"Ohhh." Ben tries to think about it but, but his mind is a complete blank. He has a vague memory of walking with his friend Jack, passing a bottle of something between them and falling down into a front yard, but he can't remember when that was. "Eighteen." 

She gives him a look and reaches out, taking the bottle away. Her fingers brush his and he catches them, with reflexes he really shouldn't have in the moment, and takes the bottle from her, bringing her fingers to his lips. 

He hears her breath hitch. 

And then she laughs. "Ask me another question."

He continues to hold her fingers and looks at her, trying to decide what to ask. She's so cute and small and he just wants to pick her up and-

"You wanna dance?"

"Okay!"

They get off the floor and he turns on the stereo, pushing the buttons on the remote until he comes across Al Green.

"This is such a good song," he says, coming back to her. She smiles. Ben smiles back, brushes a stray hair from her face and wraps his arms around her, pulling her as close as possible. 

"You're so tall," she says. 

He laughs. "I'm not that tall. You're just really short."

She scrunches up her nose and his heart leaps out of his chest. If his life were a cartoon, it would be running away and maybe hitching a ride somewhere. 

"I think I'm in love with you."

He doesn't mean to say it, but before he can take it back, she tilts her head and says, "You should kiss me right now."

So he does, hoping that maybe in the morning, they won't remember this part. 

-  
He wakes up on the living room floor. She's next to him. Her shirt is unbuttoned, her panties around her ankles. He's dizzy, his vision blurry, but looking at her, he knows he was in the middle of something very important. 

Leslie opens her eyes. They're so blue. Aquamarine blue. The color of the lake his grandpa used to take him to go fishing in blue. 

"We fell asleep."

"I'm still drunk," he says, his stomach lurching. "Ugh."

She just groans into the floor. "Me too."

Ben somehow, after what is probably only thirty seconds but feels much longer, sits up and holds out his hands. "Let's go to bed."  
.  
"Bed," Leslie repeats, pulling up her panties and taking his hands. They help each other up, but it instantly feels like a mistake. 

But he pushes past his desire to just collapse again, guiding her up the stairs, past her room and into his. 

Leslie starts toward the bed but then stops. "Clothes!"

"Clothes," Ben repeats. She's right. They can't sleep in their clothes. 

She takes off her shirt. "I don't have any pjs."

"You don't need them."

She shrugs. "Okay." 

If he was sober, the sight of her in nothing but her boy cut underwear would drive him insane, but he's so far gone that all he can think about is just crashing on that bed and never getting out. 

Her being beside him is really just a bonus. 

He pulls her close though, tangles his legs with hers, kisses her so he can taste the vodka on her lips. 

And then he passes out again. 

-  
The next morning he finds Leslie in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. He pours himself a cup of coffee and asks, "How do you feel?"

"Mushy. You?"

"I'm awesome," Ben says, sipping on his coffee. "I feel like I could run a marathon."

She gives him a small smile and groans. "Well breakfast is almost done. I say we eat it, throw up and go back to bed."

"Great plan."

On Tuesday, she finds him sitting in Leia's room after talking to her on the phone. She sits next to him, knees touching his while he holds Leia's stuffed elephant. 

"She's having fun."

"That's good!"

Ben nods. It is good. He's just a selfish asshole who wishes his daughter was homesick and ready to come home. 

"Look, it's already Tuesday right? Before you know it the two weeks will be up and she'll be running to your arms in the airport."

Ben gives Leslie a grateful smile. "Thanks. So uh, how's the studying going?"

"I am seeing spots." 

Ben chuckles. "I was about to make dinner if you want to keep me company."

Leslie makes a face. "You're not about to make another one of your dumb calzones are you?"

"For the last time, Leslie. Calzones aren't dumb. They are the future of fast Italian dining."

She stares at him with narrowed eyes.

"What?"

"It's a good thing you're hot," she says standing up. 

He follows her out of the room. "You think I'm hot?" 

 

On Thursday he's sitting at his desk, tapping his pen against it when he gets an idea. Knowing that Leslie has a break between classes, he calls her. 

"You wanna have dinner with me tonight?"

"I have dinner with you every night."

"I mean, do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?"

"Oh. Like a date?"

He pictures her sitting in the campus coffee shop with her laptop open, headphones in her ears while she listens to the Spice Girls. Her hair is probably up in a loose ponytail and she's drinking something with far too much sugar. 

"Yes, exactly like a date." It's way past time he took her out. It's past time he did a lot of things. 

There's barely any pause. "Oh." 

"Is that a yes?"

Leslie giggles. "Yes." 

"Great. Do me a favor? 

"Anything."

"Wear red please." 

When he gets home, he can hear the shower running. He allows himself to think about her, wet and soapy for half a minute before going to change out of suit that doesn't smell like the accounting firm's break room. When he's changed, he goes downstairs to find Leslie waiting for him. 

She's wearing a black dress. It's incredibly sexy, but he's pretty sure he requested red. "I thought I asked you to wear red."

She grins slyly. "I am." 

It takes him longer than he wants to admit to understand her meaning, but when he finally understands it, he just wants to forget dinner and see for himself. 

"Good lord."

Leslie gives him a crooked smile that makes him want to kiss her forever. 

Dinner first though. 

\--

He notices her hand shaking when she reaches for her glass of wine. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just a little nervous. First dates and I don't really get along. I'm sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop." 

"Right. Well, if it helps, I'm nervous too." 

Her eyes meet his and it takes all of his willpower not to lean over and kiss her. "Why?"

"Because I like you, a lot."

"I like you a lot, too." 

"And I don't want to say or do anything to ruin this." 

Leslie nods, fiddling with her napkin. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Ben leans forward, whispering. "I love secrets." 

"I'm scared this won't work out and that I'll get fired."

His heart clenches. He's worried about the same thing, but as far as he's concerned, she's worth the risk. He's never felt this way about anyone. 

"Well, as your boss, I can assure you that if you ever want to end this, I will keep things purely professional and won't fire you. Ever. And as your boyfriend, if your boss is ever mean to you, just tell me and I'll beat him up." 

Leslie grins and he can see her shoulders relax as the tension leaves her body. "Okay." 

There's still a hint of nerves in her voice though. "All I want to do is make you happy."

She exhales, smiling all the way up to her eyes. "I'm very happy," she says, reaching for his hand. He takes it, squeezing. 

"Good. Because I plan on making you even happier when we get home." 

\--

He keeps his hand on her back while they walk up to the door to the house. He unlocks the door with his free hand, using the other one to draw patterns into her skin through the fabric of her dress. When the door opens, she goes in first. He closes the door behind him and is about to lock it when he hears her growl and finds himself being pushed against the door, her lips tasting like chocolate and wine. 

"Woah," he says, when she finally lets him breathe. 

"I'm tired of waiting."

He is too. He's so, so tired. So he pushes himself off the door and tells her as much while he walks her backwards to the stairs. They get half way up before she slips and he falls on her, their lips pulling on each other the same way they're pulling at each other's clothes. 

His lips find her shoulders, kissing every freckle. 

She makes a displeased sound though, making him look up. "What?"

"I'm getting carpet burn." 

"We can't have that," Ben says, standing up to help Leslie to her feet. 

Eventually, they reach his room. He throws his suit jacket and tie aside before reaching for her again, unable to get enough of the way she tastes. 

Leslie giggles and pushes him away. Then she lifts her dress over her head and throws it in the same direction as his tie. 

He can't do anything but stare at her. She's small and curvy and covered in freckles and sure enough, she's wearing red. 

She smiles shyly. "Um, do you like it?"

Ben swallows and answers her by pushing her onto the bed. She lands with a bounce and a smile that quickly disappears as he gets between her legs. 

She lifts her hips without him asking her too. He removes her panties, dropping them on the floor before spreading her legs apart and falling down on the bed. 

He quickly becomes enthralled with her. He uses her sounds as a guide, exploring her with his hands and mouth, wanting this to be as good for her as it is for him. 

No. He wants it to be better. 

Ben spends a lot of time on her breasts, licking and sucking the tender flesh while her fingers comb through his hair and her leg tightens around his. 

He pushes his hand between her legs, feeling slick heat.

Needing to taste her, Ben moves away from her breasts and travels down her stomach until he's at her inner thighs. He licks and nips at the tender fresh of her pussy, ignoring her pleas for the moment. The scent of her though, the taste of her wetness on her skin, it's too much to ignore. So he traces it with his tongue to the source. 

He should have done this a long time ago. 

He wants to spend hours here, just tracing her and finding out what will make her come apart. 

She pulls on his hair though, lifting him up and looking at him with frantic eyes after she peaks. 

"Ben, please just fuck me."

He would gladly eat her out for another hour or more but he hears the ache in her voice and reaches into his nightstand for a condom, glad he had the foresight to buy them after things started happening with them. 

Ben pushes in slowly, wanting to savor every second. She gasps, but then a slow smile crosses her face. 

"Wow."

"Yeah," he agrees, his nose bumping hers as he kisses her. Wow is right. She feels perfect, like she was made for him. 

He beginning to to think it might be true.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe we're on chapter 9 already? Time really does fly by. We love you and thank you for your continued support.

Leia comes home on Christmas Eve.

Ben wakes up so early, Leslie hasn’t even finished making coffee yet. He kisses her with a smile and actually bounces as he walks around the kitchen, insisting that he take over coffee making duties. He sings a song about making coffee under his breath, his hands light and playful along her body when they cross paths. She makes waffles and they eat them together, Ben’s eyes bright and his lips seeking hers between bites.

It’s been nice, her duties being reduced to only taking care of the house, uninterrupted kisses, and sex anywhere they want. But, the house is quieter and not quite as full without Leia there. So many moments were sparse because Leia wasn’t there to snuggle against Leslie’s side, her little feet in Ben’s lap. When Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown was on, Ben kept looking away from the screen with a sad turn of his lips. Leslie missed her laugh.

But tomorrow is Christmas and Leia comes home today; Leslie will be gone by the time Ben comes back from the airport. She’s going to miss them both for the next few days while she stays at her mom’s, eating and baking too many cookies.

Ben’s putting their dishes into the sink, Leslie admiring his butt, when he says, “Come take a shower with me.”

Leslie doesn’t have to be asked twice. His teeth catch her skin and he teases her under the warm stream of water until he finally gives up and plants himself down on the shower floor, pushing her against his face. She holds onto his hair, hand slipping down the tile, until she’s shaking and coming. There’s still soap on her skin when he turns off the water, carrying her to his bed to fuck her properly.

After, he snuggles into her, sighing into her hair and tracing lines onto her stomach. It feels good, he feels good, this feels too good. It makes her stomach bubble with nerves, her lips unable to stop curving up into a smile.

“Stay one more night,” Ben whispers into her hair.

Leslie closes her eyes, her body numbing. She doesn’t know what’s happening between them, what will happen after Leia comes home from the airport, what it all means for them now, but the plan was for her to be gone for a few days to give Ben and Leia some special family time together after her trip. That’s how he phrased it when the plans for Leia’s time away were finalized. 

“Oh, yes, of course,” Leslie had said after Ben told her he wanted her to not only take Christmas day off, but the next week as well. 

“I’ll pay you, I just was thinking it’d be nice to have the time together, especially for the holiday.”

It was late at night, Leslie’s textbook open on her lap, other notes sprawled over her bed. Ben knocked on the doorframe and after a short back and forth of small talk, he sat in her desk chair, breaking the news.

“And I’m sure you’d like the time off,” Ben added quickly.

Leslie faked a laugh. “Yeah.”

Now, in his bed, he’s changing his mind. She isn’t sure if that means she’s allowed to intrude upon family time now or if he’s riding some kind of temporary my-daughter-returns-today high that he’ll regret when he and Leia can’t be properly alone. Leslie’s always felt like she’s one step away from them, their family, and she’s wondering if spending Christmas Eve together will only make her feel like the gap is widening.

Ben snuggles into her neck, kissing her skin. “Please.” Warmth pools in her stomach and she sighs. He kisses her again, an arm wrapping around her waist. “Please.”

Leslie tries to construct a proper pros and cons list, but she can’t get past holiday traffic before his tongue circling that spot below her ear clouds her mind and she’s whispering, “Yes,” as his hand dips between her legs.

\--

Ben leaves in a rush. He misses a button on his shirt and Leslie swats away his shaky hands to fix him up properly. He kisses her gratefully, though quickly, and asks her to get all the Christmas stuff from the garage while he’s gone. She follows him to the front door, his body halting as if it’s been shocked when he holds onto the doorknob. 

“Let’s not tell Leia, yet,” Ben says, turning around to face her. “About us.”

She’s thought about this, has really been trying to figure out how they were going to navigate their relationship -- whatever it is -- when Leia got home, but now that she knows, it’s like a warm knife sliding into her chest. 

She swallows and nods, making a joke about how she’s going to spend all his money on Christmas cookie materials while he’s gone.

This makes his muscles loosen and his lips part in a smile. “Please do.”

He kisses her and goes, leaving Leslie alone in a house that isn’t hers. Not really.

It takes her a few minutes to shake the feeling off, remembering that she knows where everything goes in the kitchen, that her shoes are by the door, and her sweatshirt is there on the couch. She tells herself she belongs here. Then, she gets to work.

She does spend too much on Christmas cookie materials and when she lays it all out on the counter, she even laughs at herself. She starts two batches so the Wyatt duo doesn’t get too overwhelmed when they come home. She cleans the house and starts a load of laundry. She ends up making another batch of cookies.

As she’s licking the spoon, her phone dings. She picks it up off the counter and swipes, revealing a selfie style picture of Ben and Leia in front of a Christmas tree. They’re at the lot that’s taken over a good portion of the city pool’s parking lot. Leia looks older somehow, her mouth open wide in a huge smile and Ben’s hand in her hair. Like the Grinch, Leslie’s heart grows three sizes.

Leslie goes into the garage, pulling out all the boxes that have XMAS written on them in thick black marker. She almost falls off a ladder and the dust is making her nose run, but all that doesn’t matter when the front door opens.

“Leslie?” 

There’s a loud stomping of little feet, echoed by Ben shouting about boots in the house. Leslie turns the corner of the living room and Leia’s flying toward her, her purple peacoat wide open and flapping behind her like a cape. Leslie bends down and scoops her up, squeezing her little body just as hard as Leia holds onto her neck. She can’t breathe that well, but she doesn’t care. She smells like pine and some kind of fancier shampoo, but it doesn’t matter, those are her soft curls on her face and holding Leia makes her feel home.

Which is both comforting and terrifying all in one.

Leia pulls back, her voice fast and loud as she speaks.

“Daddy says you’re spending Christmas Eve with us and we’re going to make cookies and decorate the tree, Daddy bought a tree and a wreath and I got to eat popcorn from the tree lady but it was gross.” 

The th in wreath is replaced by an f sound and Leslie can feel the tears pricking her eyes. She didn’t realize how much she really missed Leia until this moment. She throws Leia up just a bit before placing her back on the ground.

“That’s right,” Leslie says, exchanging glances with Ben, who looks almost drunk on happiness. “I already made some, do you want to try them?”

Leia looks back at Ben and he gives her a small nod and she bursts into the kitchen. 

“But your boots,” Ben calls after her. 

It’s too late and Leslie wonders if he really gives a shit about the boots considering how slowly he’s walking and that awful smile on his face that is sending waves of comforting heat through her body. 

He passes her, stopping to plant a soft kiss on Leslie’s lips before following Leia into the kitchen.

“Oh, what the fuck,” Leslie whispers, falling back on the sofa. Her head spins so she closes her eyes, listening to the sounds of Ben and Leia talking and laughing.

//

The whole day is a blur. Leslie is a mess of Christmas cheer and butterflies and it’s making her emotions run high and low, zig zagging and crashing into walls and lifting over tall buildings. 

Leia and Leslie laugh at Ben as he brings in the tree and they all work together to pick the best side to face the window. Ben puts Leia on his shoulders to string the multi colored lights around it and Leslie follows behind, rearranging the strands so they are evenly placed among the branches. They all high five when they’re done, cheering when Ben plugs in the cord and the whole thing comes to life.

Leia shows off all her handmade ornaments from over the years. There’s popsicle stick stars and cotton ball snowmen, wreaths with her picture in the middle and year written underneath. Ben isn’t without his own things to show off, like a limited edition Star Trek ornament and a glass ball ornament that has Baby’s First Christmas etched on it, a picture of baby Leia inside. There’s even one with Leia’s tiny handprint on it that Ben doesn’t show Leslie. Instead, he holds it gently, looking at it for a beat longer than the rest, and hangs it toward the top of the tree.

Leslie plucks ornaments around the tree, sometimes pausing to ask Leia’s opinion on a placement of a ballerina or of an Elmo figurine that speaks when you press a button. When Leia drops a glass Star Wars ornament, Ben shoves them both away to clean it up and Leslie takes Leia to the kitchen to help dry her tears.

“I break things all the time,” Leslie tells her.

Leia sniffs. “No you don’t.”

“I do, it’s true, once--”

“Daddy is going to be mad at me.”

Leslie tilts her head, scrunching her face in confusion. “Mad at you? No way, he’s never mad at you, I don’t think his robot programming allows it.”

This makes Leia laugh. “Daddy’s not a robot.”

“Are you sure?”

Leia giggles again and Leslie takes the opportunity to tickle her sides, her laughs becoming loud and echoing. Ben gives them an all clear and they snag a few cookies before returning to the tree.

Leslie doesn’t have proper Christmas pajamas so Ben lets her borrow a pair of plaid, green pajama pants that go way past her feet despite her rolling them up at the waist twice. Leia has a whole elf pajama set and Ben has a pair of red and green plaid pajamas with the button up shirt and everything that makes Leslie laugh. Ben waves her off, rolling his eyes, but she does notice the pink tinge to his neck.

They eat takeout Chinese food in pajamas, the containers laid out on the table. They don’t use plates, instead dipping their chopsticks into boxes and fighting over the Mongolian beef. Leia has a children’s pair that she desperately tries to master, but Ben gets her a fork after thirty minutes of a determined struggle. It’s a Wonderful Life plays on when they’re done, Leia snuggling into Ben’s side, her feet tucked under Leslie’s thigh. She’s asleep before George and Mary get married. Ben plays with the ends of Leslie’s hair and slides his thumb along her neck when George runs around Bedford Falls in a relieved stupor. He even wipes a tear away from Leslie’s cheek as the credits roll.

Leslie lets herself imagine this life every Christmas, as they put out the presents from Santa and Ben drinks half of the milk and shares a snickerdoodle cookie with her, leaving some crumbs behind on the plate. He kisses her in front of the tree, hands soft and innocent around her waist, rubbing up her back, sinking into her hair. 

“All done,” he says against her lips. “I have to say, this is more fun with a partner.”

“It’s fun,” she agrees.

Ben pulls her to him and deepens their kisses, tasting of chow mein and milk and it’s the most ridiculous, romantic, festive combination in the world. 

They walk hand in hand to the hallway and Ben stops, his body tensing, outside Leslie’s bedroom door. It’s her room, they both know that, but Leslie hasn’t slept there since Leia’s been gone.

“Um,” Ben starts.

“No, I know--”

“It’s just--”

“I get it, Ben, I know.”

“She always wakes me up around 5 in the morning on Christmas and I just don’t want to risk it, you know?”

“Loud and clear,” Leslie says, nodding too much, as if she needs to reassure not just Ben, but herself that this is fine. “Aye, aye, Captain!”

Ben stares at her, brows furrowed, but he still leans down to kiss her. 

“Merry Christmas, goofball,” he whispers. His breath is warm and sweet against her lips and she tightens her grip on his arm to keep her from swaying.

“Merry Christmas, Ben.”

He slides away from her, gripping her hand before letting go. “Thanks for staying.”

She smiles, looking down at her fingers that are still tingling from his touch. When she looks back up, he’s gone.

Leslie doesn’t sleep well, but it’s fine; she’s half awake at 4:30 so she gets up, packs her bag, and leaves before either of the Wyatts wake up.

\--

“So, how are things with you and the boss man?”

Marlene is four drinks in and Leslie’s at that level of drunk that means any mention of her boss makes her fall face first into a couch cushion. She groans into the fabric, torn between wanting another drink and just suffocating herself.

“Aw, my poor baby,” Marlene coos, then laughs, planting herself on an ottoman and rubbing Leslie’s back. 

Leslie gives up her fight with death, and turns her head away so she can take a breath. Her hair is covering her line of sight but she can still feel the soothing motion of her mom’s hand on her back. Boy troubles always did make Leslie want to shrink back into a child and just curl up into her mom’s lap. Her dad’s, too.

“He’s very cute,” Leslie slurs, “and he has a great butt and a great…”

“Penis.”

“Yeah, that.” 

Leslie gets up and takes a swig from her glass of spiked eggnog while Marlene sits next to her on the couch. Leslie leans into her mother, warmed by her embrace, the alcohol, and Tony Bennett’s voice singing about Rudolph coming from the stereo. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” Marlene says, leaning her cheek onto Leslie’s head. “Men are dogs.”

Leslie nods, then shakes her head, groaning. “I don’t know, he’s not doing anything wrong.”

“They all do something wrong at some point.”

“He’s being cautious because of Leia and I understand, you know? But also it’s confusing because am I his girlfriend, his hot nanny he gets to bang, or what? And I’m not going to ask him because frankly, I am afraid of the answer.”

Marlene chuckles, squeezing Leslie harder. “You always did love a little hard, and wanted the same in return.”

“Hey.”

“No, no, it’s good. It’s… it’s a lot like your father.”

Tony keeps singing while they snuggle on the couch. They’ve been doing this, getting drunk and listening to old crooners sing Christmas songs while they stuff themselves silly with desserts, ever since Leslie was 20 years old. It’s a nice tradition, one that really solidifies their relationship every year with too much honesty and a lot of nostalgia, especially about Robert. Leslie likes their small, drunk Christmas. But she also likes the idea of a bigger one, one without so much alcohol and more building and playing with toys until dinner time and sneaking kisses under mistletoe. 

“And I’m worried, too. I remember when you were dating and it confused me and I was in high school! Leia’s four years old.”

Marlene leans forward to grab her drink, taking a swig.

“Yeah, but you turned out fine, look at you! Grad school, boning your boss--”

“Mom!”

Marlene cackles. Tony starts singing about having a blue Christmas and Marlene’s voice becomes soft.

“I don’t know this man, but if he really is being cautious about you around his daughter, it must mean something. Maybe he wants to really get it right this time, maybe he wants to find not only a partner, but a mother for Leia.” She squeezes Leslie tighter and Leslie sighs. This is what she wanted, to be taken care of, loved in a way that only a mother could give. “I always wished I could find you a father, but Robert must have been it for us.”

Leslie snuggles into Marlene, sneaking her arms around her. Her chest aches, her throat tightening.

“I love you, mom.”

“Love you, too, sweetie.” Marlene sniffs and then takes in a large breath. “More alcohol?”

“More alcohol!” Leslie cheers.

She grabs another brownie from the coffee table and doesn’t bring attention to Marlene wiping underneath her eyes or needing to disappear for a moment alone in the kitchen. It’s another tradition of theirs, Marlene admitting to her heartbreak over her late husband while both of them pretend the pain doesn’t run that deep. 

Marlene takes awhile to get their drinks, but Leslie doesn’t mind. She opens her text messages again and stares at the photo she received early this morning.

Ben’s wearing the tie she and Leia bedazzled for him weeks and weeks ago and Leia holds up a lightsaber that Ben special ordered with a purple blade and Luke’s handle. She tries not to think too much of the text that accompanied it, but she rereads it anyway.

_We miss you. Merry Christmas._

\--

There’s a quick pass off when Leslie comes back to the Wyatt house. Ben is in a rush to get to work and Leia doesn’t want him to go. Leslie watches Ben struggle to actually leave the house and go to work and Leia cries, holding onto Leslie.

After that, it takes a long time to get Leia to eat breakfast and get excited for any activity, in some deep funk because she’s missing Ben. Leslie can understand, she’s in the same funk, too, so they spend more than the allowed amount of time watching Disney Junior while eating leftover cookies.

She finally gets Leia to color for most of the afternoon and they make snow princesses as the sun starts its descent. Leia is helping Leslie prepare dinner when Ben comes home. He picks her up and gives her exaggerated kisses all over her face, making the whole kitchen erupt in her giggles. 

Leslie watches, the gnawing sensation roaring up again in her stomach. She keeps working on dinner, stirring the pasta on the stove, the heat radiating from the pot in distracting puffs of steam.

“We made snow princesses!” Leia squeals. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! And we watched a lot of TV.”

“Is that so?” Leslie hears the dip in his voice, the suspicious, almost grumpy tone that she loves to hate.

“Well, we were having a tough morning missing Daddy,” Leslie chimes in, turning around, pointing her tongs at them.

“Ah, I see,” Ben says. “I had a hard time, too.”

His gaze locks on Leslie, his eyes soft while his mouth tilts in a smirk. He looks down her body and back up to her face and Leslie tells herself the heat she feels is from standing so close to the stove.

“Come look at the snow princesses, Daddy.”

“Wait, aren’t you the snow princess?” Ben asks, putting Leia down.

“No, Daddy,” Leia says, tugging him by the hand to the backdoor. 

After dinner, Leslie spends her time off in her room trying to organize her school supplies so she can figure out what she needs to buy before the next semester starts. She can hear Leia and Ben lightsaber dueling in the living room, taking occasional breaks to sing Under the Sea. She hums along, putting papers into trash and keep piles.

“Hey.”

Leslie spins and Ben is there, leaning against her door frame. 

“Hi.”

“She wants you to read to her.”

Leslie smiles. “Are you jealous?”

“Little bit.”

When she walks by him, he snags her fingers and squeezes them between his before she finds Leia in bed with a stack of books on her lap. They only get through two before Leia’s asleep. Leslie kisses her forehead and tiptoes through Leia’s room, carefully closing the door until it clicks.

Days fly by, the three of them trying to find their groove again. Leia goes back to preschool and Leslie tries to prepare for the next semester while Ben gets ready for tax season. Leslie enjoys the chaos, though. The missteps, whether it be an entire carton of orange juice spilling on the kitchen floor or completely forgetting ballet practice, are imperfectly perfect. It only solidifies a lot of the scary feelings Leslie has about her new home, her new life.

There’s lots of sidestepping, more grazed hands under the kitchen table and stolen kisses behind closed doors. Leslie sleeps in her room to prevent Leia finding them. They also haven’t had sex, not since Leia’s been home. It’s unspoken, maybe, that sex could be too loud or that they would never lock his bedroom door so they could easily be caught. For now, it’s only sneaking kisses that lead to make out sessions against Leslie’s door frame.

But, on a night that isn’t different than any other, it changes. 

Leslie is on her way to the laundry room, a few found socks in her hands, when two arms circle around her waist, a sharp, scratchy jaw nuzzles into her neck. Leslie’s heart jumps but her body deflates, sinking into Ben’s embrace. She missed him. It’s insane because they see each other all the time, have dinner together, but just feeling him like this makes her realize she misses him so, so much in a completely different way. Ben hums into her hair, hands flattening against her waist, roaming over her torso.

“I missed you,” he whispers.

Leslie pushes back into him, sliding her hands over his arms until her palms are flat on the top of his so she can follow his path around her body. She gasps and moans as his fingers dip, dragging between her legs in a perfect friction. She bucks against his hand rubbing over her jeans, pressing her ass to his crotch. He’s hard and the feel of him, the aggressive want he has for her, makes her feel like she’s floating.

He drags her to his room, closing the door and pressing her against it so he can kiss down her neck, along her chin, on her cheeks, finally pressing his lips to hers. He pushes her chin down with his thumb and slides his tongue along hers, his groans vibrating through her body. 

Ben strips her down to her underwear and Leslie pulls off his shirt, eager to feel his skin against hers again. When he presses his body into her, she feels the familiar electrical pull run through her, and when she moans his name, she hopes he doesn’t hear the desperate tremble in her voice.

His hand goes between her legs, tracing her over her panties. Her body falls into him, legs weak from his touch and she can hear his smirk when he tells her how wet she is.

“Oh my God,” she breathes and Ben pulls her from the door and pushes her onto his bed, hooking his fingers into the sides of her panties and sliding them down her legs. He pauses, looking at the garment in his hand.

“In denial about Christmas being over?” he asks, chuckling.

Leslie’s cheeks flame but she smiles anyway, proud of her gingerbread men panties. “Don’t make fun of my underwear, Mr. Wyatt.”

“No, no, I like them,” he says, shoving them in his pocket. “Take off your bra, please.”

“What are you, busy?” Leslie teases.

Ben drops to his knees on the floor at the end of the bed and yanks her by the thighs to the edge. “Yes, I am.”

He inches toward her and Leslie tries to catch her breath, but the anticipation, the adrenaline for what’s to come next keeps her whole body trembling and her lungs refusing to fill. She grips the bedspread and bucks her hips forward. She’s about to beg when Ben clears his throat.

“The bra, Leslie.”

Leslie sits up on her elbows and he arches an eyebrow at her, dipping his chin down expectantly. She unclasps her bra and throws it at him. He tosses it aside and dives in.

Ben eats her like he’s discovering her for the first time. He’s slow and deep, picks up speed when she moans his name, and slows again when he discovers a spot that he just can’t leave. He makes her climb and doesn’t let her release and does it all over again, allowing her to unravel into a shaking mess. He doesn’t stop, though, keeps going until her whole body is numb and she can only breathe and feel, breathe and feel.

He slides into her easily and she clamps her eyes shut at the stretch, the perfect way he feels inside her.

“Kiss me,” Leslie whispers.

She’s sure he didn’t hear her, but he leans down and covers her mouth with his, anyway, his hips speeding up, pushing deeper. When his breathing starts to race and his moans become a little louder, she uses all of her strength to angle her hips to drive him in deeper and he swears, whispering her name with his last few thrusts.

Ben rolls them so they’re on their sides, facing each other. Leslie is weak, her whole body shutting down for sleep, and Ben’s lazy hand running up and down her side is only helping her drift.

Leslie smiles as Ben pulls her closer. She nuzzles into his neck and she falls asleep to the rise and fall of his chest against hers.

A familiar, faint sound is pulling her from sleep, but it’s not until the third time she hears a small voice say, “Daddy,” that she opens her eyes.

Her heart jumps into her throat. Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

Ben grunts beside her and Leslie just hopes maybe Leia won’t notice her on the other side of the bed. She slowly curls the blankets farther up her arms, up to her neck.

“Daddy.”

Ben inhales sharply. “Leia? What’s wrong, Leia bear?” His voice is rough with sleep, lodged deep in his throat.

“I had a nightmare,” Leia whimpers. 

“Aw,” Ben coos, his hand ruffling her hair. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Did Leslie have a nightmare, too?”

Leslie snaps her eyes shut, loud circus music playing in her head. She wants to sink into the mattress and disappear. She wants to turn invisible, she wants this to not have happened. Is she having a nightmare? Leslie squeezes her eyes shut and tries to fly. Nope.

It takes so long for him to reply, and when he does his voice is even, low, and cold. 

“No, she didn’t. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Ben gets up and Leslie watches him pad through his room and out the door with Leia. She hurries out of the bed, grabbing her clothes. Somehow, she’s wearing one of Ben’s shirts. She doesn’t remember putting that on, but she’s thankful anyway.

She hurries to her room and shuts the door, trying to catch her breath. She gets in bed and stares at the ceiling, willing herself to go back to sleep. She’s not sure if she does or not, but at 5:45, she gets up to start her day.

Leslie pulls up her wet hair, listening for the sound of small feet running down the hallway. She wipes the fog from the mirror and reminds herself to breathe, that Ben promised that he wouldn’t fire her, and that if he did, he would also beat himself up. Or something. It was very romantic, but in the heat of her shame, it is just confusing and heartbreaking.

Breakfast is tense, but if Leia is confused or needs to know more about last night, she doesn’t let on about it. School starts back up for Leslie that day, but her first class isn’t until 11:00. Ben kisses Leia goodbye before Leslie takes Leia’s hand and they walk the three blocks to Leia’s preschool. Leslie’s only salvation on her walk home, is that she knows the house will be empty and she can freely spiral about what’s happening between her and Ben alone.

When she rounds the corner on their street, she sees his car in the driveway. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She walks in quietly, hoping that he’s in his room or the bathroom, violently sick or something. He’s not, though, of course he’s not. He’s in the kitchen, pouring himself another cup of coffee and Leslie freezes, the sight of him making her bones stiff, muscles useless. He doesn’t look up at her, and when he speaks, his voice is rough.

“You should’ve gone to bed.”

“What?”

“We had a deal, you were supposed to stay in your room.”

Leslie tilts her head, something snapping inside her. 

“Oh? You didn’t seem to have a problem with me being in your room last night.”

Ben grips the counter and then turns his hanging head toward her. “After. You should’ve gone to bed after.”

“Are you really blaming _me_ for this?” Leslie asks.

“This is why we had ground rules--”

“Rules? What rules? You brought me into your room, Ben!”

“I know -- I shouldn’t have done that.” 

His words knock into her, causing her to step back.

“You’re being a jerk.”

“Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me--” Leslie takes a step toward him and he tenses. She takes a breath.

“Dammit Leslie.” He groans, running a hand through his hair, rubbing his neck. “This could be confusing to her.”

“Yeah well,” Leslie says, swallowing. “It’s confusing for me, too.”

Ben turns back to his coffee and Leslie crosses her arms, watching him. His shoulders tense beneath his white t-shirt, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he tightens his hold on the handle of the mug. He doesn’t lift the cup, only stares into the black liquid, making Leslie’s skin crawl in anticipation. 

Finally, he sighs. “We’ll have to get married.”

Leslie’s jaw drops and time halts. Anger bubbles in her chest and spreads up her throat, tightening, pushing tears into her eyes. She was so stupid to think he might want to take things slow for Leia, that he needed time to make sure this was right for his family. It’s not right, he’s not in love with her, he doesn’t need time. Apparently, there isn’t much to consider, it’s just fucking handy that she’s nearby. Her hands tighten into fists and she tries to get her breathing under control so she can speak evenly, but it’s no use.

“So what, you want to marry me out of convenience?”

“It would solve a lot of our problems.”

The tears start flowing and she whips around, running to her room to gather her things.

“Leslie--”

“Shut up, Ben. Please, stop.”

Everything, this house, Ben, Leia, the Wyatt family, who has become just as part of her life as Ann or her own mother, starts crumbling around her. It’s as if her memories are falling from the sky like rain and crumbling at her feet. She stomps through the puddles, past Ben, to the front door.

“Leslie, come on.”

“I’m going to be late for class.”

That’s a lie, but it works because Ben stops in the driveway. He doesn’t call out to her again, only watches as she drives away, her sobs echoing in the car as she leaves behind a life she was in the middle of building.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter ten, yay! 
> 
> As always, we are so, so, so grateful for your praise and support. We really hope you enjoy this chapter. Two more chapters to go!

When Leslie comes home with Leia that afternoon after ballet, Ben avoids her, trying to keep his distance because his head still hurts and his blood still feels hot as it flows through his veins. He sits at the dinner table and pretends to read the paper while they eat, half listening to Leia as she and Leslie talk about ballet class. When Leia says, "Daddy, watch," he does, making a point not to look at Leslie. 

"That's wonderful, padawan," Ben says, picking Leia up and placing her on his lap so he can breathe in the calming scent of her shampoo. It's different though, not at all the like the watermelon shampoo she's chosen since the first time he took her to the store and let her pick by herself. This time she smells like oranges and while it's actually very nice, Ben's still thrown off by it. 

"You changed shampoos." 

Leia beams at him as Leslie gathers their plates to take into the kitchen. "Uh huh."

"I'm going to talk to Leslie for a minute. Why don't you go into the living room and watch some cartoons?"

"Okay, daddy." Leia kisses his cheek and runs off. Moments later, he hears the theme song for Scooby Doo. 

Leslie's washing the dishes by hand. Usually she sings while she does it, but tonight she's silent, simply washing the plates and silverware before putting them into the caddy to dry. 

"So, Leia's shampoo is different." 

Leslie jumps, soap and water splashing her chest and face, getting on the counter and floor. 

"You scared me."

He leans against the wall and watches as she clean up the mess. "Leia's shampoo is different."

Leslie's face is blank as she studies him, holding a wet towel. "Are you really doing this?"

"Doing what? I was making conversation."

"No, you're being passive aggressive. Don't-"

"Leia's in the other room," Ben warns her, knowing just how loud and passionate Leslie can get when she's arguing. 

"Well, then you should have thought about that before you decided to come in here picking a fight about her shampoo, Ben." She throws the towel at his face and walks out, her last words to him, 

"I'll be in my room studying." 

The next day Ben fakes having to go into work early just so he can avoid the awkward breakfast conversation. 

During his lunch break he talks to Sarah about Leia visiting her and Diego in the summer. It's going fine, it's mostly her promising she won't take Leia rock climbing or hiking through the rainforest while she's there. 

"I don't want my daughter eaten by a boa constrictor."

"Oh that's too bad, Diego's brother owns a boa. It's the sweetest thing-"

Smoke comes out of Ben's ears. "What?"

Sarah laughs. "Oh god, you were always too easy." 

Ben sighs, tilting his head to the sky. "Yeah, yeah." 

"Seriously though, what's wrong with you? You sound tense and not in your usual good way." 

"Nothing," Ben starts to say, "Just having a small fight with Leia's nanny."

"Ohhh," Sarah says, all too knowing. "The one you're in love with."

"Um, what? How- How did you know that?"

Sarah just laughs again. "Leia talked about her constantly while she was here. It's so obvious. I was actually kind of jealous to tell you the truth. So what did you do?"

Ben could say it's not his fault, that it was Leslie who started the fight by not going to bed, but it's been long enough that he can admit that's not entirely true. So he tells Sarah everything. 

"Good lord," she says when he's done. 

"You're mocking me." 

"You proposed to her because Leia found her sleeping with you?" Sarah takes a deep breath. "You've done some really dumb shit in your life, Ben, but this takes the cake."

"I can hang up you know."

She ignores his threat. "Tell me what the problem is."

"I did. And just because you did one psych rotation that doesn't mean you're qualified-"

"Out with it, Benjamin." 

Ben exhales. "I just don't want Leia to get hurt."

"Oh," Sarah replies, a little too soft. "This isn't about her. It's about me."

"Not entirely," Ben admits after a pause. 

"Ben, this woman fought you tooth and nail to get that job because she cared about Leia. And she sent me a binder about Leia so I would know all of her likes and dislikes and habits. A woman who does that isn't going anywhere. And you know that, so I think it's time for you to admit you're the one who's scared of being hurt." 

Before Ben can respond, there's the sound of sirens behind Sarah. 

"I have to go," she says. "Tell Leia I said hi." 

The phone clicks. Ben hangs up the receiver and puts his head in his hands. 

 

When he gets home, Leslie's sitting on the couch with Leia, reading "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh." He stops and listens, because she's at his favorite part, when Pooh gets stuck in the tree with the honeybees. As she describes Pooh's predicament, she does the voices, making Leia and Ben both laugh. 

Leslie shoots him a glance and continues. Ben stands there, watching Leia as she snuggles closer to Leslie to look at the pages with her. 

"Daddy, come sit and read with us."

"I have to go change out of my work clothes and-"

"Daddy, please?"

He wants to say no, but he knows that no excuse will be good enough for her. So he takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves and sits on the other side of Leslie. Leia's smile is enough of a reward, but he finds himself wishing Leslie would smile at him the same way. 

But she doesn't, and really it doesn't matter because the truth is he's still pissed at her, though the reasons have become rather murky.

Maybe Sarah is right. Maybe it's not just about Leia and he is afraid of being hurt. 

But he's still not ready to apologize. 

"So, what's for dinner?" 

"I ordered a pizza. It should be here any minute." 

"Oh. Cool." 

Leslie continues on with the story as if he hadn't interrupted. As she reads, Ben bends down and kisses Leia's hair, noting how it no longer smells like oranges, but rather her usual watermelon. 

Before he can comment though, the doorbell rings. 

Ben's surprised to see the delivery girl takes out two boxes, one significantly smaller than the other. 

"One sausage and mushroom pizza and a sausage calzone." 

"That's right," Ben says, taking them and giving them to Leslie. As he pays he wonders if the calzone and Leia's shampoo are her way of saying she's sorry. 

She walks by him, muttering something about needing to study for a test and he's about to say fine but then he sees her hands are empty, and unless she scarfed down a slice, Ben's pretty sure she hasn't eaten. 

"Hey," Ben says, grabbing her arm, "aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry," Leslie answers, pulling away. 

Ben's pretty sure she's lying to him, both about having to study and about not being hungry, and he feels himself getting angry again, because as far as he's concerned, it's him that has grounds to be pissed, not her. 

"Leslie don't be like this. Eat with us."

"I have a test." 

She's the worst liar ever, even more than Leia. There's no way she has a test this early in the semester. "Okay, if that's how you want to play it, fine."

"What?" 

"Leia! Leslie won't eat with us!" 

Leia runs into the room, grabbing onto Leslie's hands. "Eat with us, Leslie!" 

Leslie shoots him a glare, but she doesn't dare argue with a four year old. 

In the morning Leia wakes up with a fever and a sore throat. Ben's about to call into work when Leslie says, "No, you go to to work, I'll stay with her."

"What about your test?"

"It's not that important." 

Ben's sure this means there wasn't really a test, because there's no way Leslie would miss it, but he sees the way she holds the cold towel against Leia's forehead and decides to bite his tongue. 

"I'm going to call the pediatrician at work. I'll let you know when the appointment is."

"Thank you." 

Ben gives Leia a kiss, repeating her sleepy, "I love you," to her. As he stands he notices how Leslie's looking at the floor, but it's the way her hand grips his comforter that really sticks out. 

The last time she gripped his comforter like that, they were together. 

He calls the pediatrician on the way to work, but he's put on hold, forced to listen to terrible muzak the entire way. It's not until he pulls into his parking space that someone finally answers. 

He supposes he should count his blessings that they're able to get her in. 

"How's she doing?" Ben asks Leslie as he makes his way past the receptionist desk, waving at Christie as he walks by when she says good morning. 

"She's okay. She's asking for your soup though."

That makes Ben smile. "Well tell her that I'll make it as soon as I come home."

"Okay." 

There's a pause, where Ben tries to think of something to say to Leslie, because he wants to say something to her, he's just not sure what. 

"Was there something else?"

He misses her. He's still angry, but he misses her. Despite everything, he misses her. "I guess not. I'll see you later."

"Bye." He hears a click and then the dial tone and for a minute he stares at the phone in disbelief, but eventually he puts it down and tries to focus on work. 

At three thirty, Leslie calls back. "It's not strep," she says, sounding lighter than before. The combination of the words and her tone relieve the worried knot in Ben's stomach. "It's still an infection but the antibiotics should kill all those nasty germs, isn't that right?" He hears scratchy laughter and a weak but defiant, "Yeah!" 

That night, Ben makes soup and gives Leia her medicine before putting her to bed early. He reads the Phantom Tollbooth to her until she's snoring on his chest, and minutes later, he removes her, making sure she has Mr. Brownspots and is completely covered. 

He leaves the door open a crack and goes to find Leslie, to thank her for taking care of Leia today, but he's stopped at her door by her voice. 

"I don't know what to do, Ann." 

She's turned away, unaware that he's watching her while she talks to her best friend. "What? No, he hasn't brought it up again... Well I'm not going to do it...Because it's ridiculous that's why!" 

He decides not to listen to the rest of her conversation. He's pretty sure she's talking about the proposal anyway. 

Maybe she's right. Maybe being married would be ridiculous. But it doesn't change the fact it would make things a lot easier. 

He ignores the pinch in his gut that says it won't.

By Friday afternoon, Leia's better. He wishes he could say the same thing about his relationship with Leslie, if there even is one. 

She's making dinner, tacos, per Leia's request. He helps by grating the cheese and dicing the tomato. 

"I need to ask you a favor." 

"Okay?"

"I had a seminar and meetings all day so I didn't actually get any real work done, so I need to go in on Sunday and catch up, and I know it's your day off but I'll pay you overtime."

"Oh. Well I kind of had plans on Sunday, but yeah, I can do that."

This is the perfect time to kiss her, they're alone and it's been days since he kissed her. She turns away before he can though, asking him to finish dinner while she goes to make a phone call. 

 

Ben's cleaning the house on Saturday while Leslie and Leia go to the park when the doorbell rings. He answers, expecting to see a kid selling candy or a teenage boy trying to scam him with magazine subscriptions, but instead there's a woman. She's an attractive woman in her late fifties or early sixties, well dressed with a nice hair cut. She says nothing, looking at Ben up and down, making him pretty sure she isn't there to talk about religion. 

Her head tilts and she smiles, but it's not the kind that brings Ben any kind of comfort. 

"You are cute," she says. 

"I'm sorry?" 

"It's too bad you're also a moron."

"What? No. I think you have the wrong person, ma'am."

She scoffs. "You're Ben Wyatt, are you not?"

"Yeah, but I don't know you, and if you'll excuse me, my daughter is going to be home any minute and I need to finish vacuuming."

"No she's not."

"What?" he asks, his vision blurring as he pictures big men taking Leia while she kicks and screams, Leslie's lifeless body left on the ground near the swing sets. 

"Relax, Ben," she says, "your daughter is fine. She's still at the park. I just sent someone over to distract them for another hour while we set up."

He believes her when she says Leia's fine, but it doesn't change the fact that this woman is a stranger and she's insulting him. 

"Set up?" 

"Yes," she says, turning around and gesturing.

The next thing Ben knows, several car doors open, including the Mercedes van parked next to his Saturn that he somehow missed while the leader of this gang of women and a couple guys, one of whom is Leia's karate instructor, was busy insulting him and making vague threats against his family. 

They're all carrying boxes full of decorations, pushing past him and going into his house. 

One person is carrying Happy Birthday balloons. 

"What is this?" he asks, wondering if he should call the cops. He's heard of people crashing parties, but he's never heard of people breaking into someone's house during the middle of the day to throw one. 

"Well," the woman says, "since you've decided to ruin my daughter's Birthday-"

"And her life!" a young girl tying a balloon to the lamp shouts. 

"We decided we would just throw Leslie's party here. I figured you wouldn't mind given the circumstances." 

Ben's mind replays her saying the words my daughter at least a dozen times before it finally sinks in. "You're Leslie's mom." 

"Yes, Ben. Who did you think I was?"

Knowing she's Leslie's mom doesn't make Ben's fear go away. If anything, it increases it. 

"Well, Mrs. Knope-"

"Marlene."

"Well, Marlene. I wasn't sure." 

"Hmm," she says, clearly amused as she walks away to help put up the streamers. 

For a minute Ben stands in his own living room, feeling awkward and hopeless as he watches them decorate his house with American flag streamers and balloons. The cake someone brings in is covered in purple frosting with Happy Birthday, Leslie written in white.

"Should I do something?" he asks as the guy and one of the women move his couch. 

"Yes, go get alcohol," Marlene orders, "Now Leslie's favorite drink is a whipped cream martini so make sure you get lots of whipped cream vodka. Also get beer, wine and the stuff to make daiquiris." 

"Um, okay. Why didn't you get them?" He doesn't mind, but he's surprised they forgot to get alcohol. But as they all glare at him, Ben realizes they didn't forget at all. "Oh, right." 

This is part two of his punishment. 

"You better hurry, Ben. They'll be home soon." 

Ben feels nervous about leaving his house while it's full of strangers, especially since the one Marlene called April looks like she might steal something, but Ben knows in his heart something worse might happen to him if he doesn't go, so he leaves, praying that his house is still in one piece when he gets back. 

He gets everything they ask for. As the cashier rings the bottles up, Ben realizes he doesn't have a present for Leslie. There's no time to go to the mall or have the toy store custom make her a stuffed animal, he's pretty much stuck with whatever is in this strip mall. 

He puts the bag inside the car and looks at his options. There's a Chinese restaurant, a store that sells sports memorabilia, a jewelry store and a dentist's office. 

He automatically discounts the Chinese restaurant and the dentist's office. He thinks for a minute about getting her a Hoosier's sweatshirt, or calling Chris to see if he has some ankle weights but dismisses the thought and ends up walking into the jewelry store. 

"Hi, can I help you with something?" 

Ben feels blinded by the amount of jewelry sparkling at him through the glass cases. He eyes the gold necklaces and the diamond tennis bracelets and the silver charms until he finally walks up to the display of engagement rings. 

"Do you have any non-conflict diamonds?" he asks, his mind and body running on pure adrenaline. If he was thinking more clearly, he'd just get her a cute charm bracelet and be done with it, but none of his thoughts about Leslie have been rational since he met her. 

"Of course," the man says, taking out a velvet tray of rings. Ben half listens while he explains where the rings were from as he looks at each ring until the right one calls out to him. 

"That one," he says. 

"Excellent choice! What size would you like-"

"I don't have time for that," Ben interrupts. "I mean, we'll come back for that. I just need the ring now." 

The other man shrugs, but says nothing as he accepts Ben's credit card. 

The party's already started when Ben gets home. He can hear music from the inside of his car and it only grows louder as he goes inside. It's full of people, more than before. Someone takes the bag out of his hands, saying, "It's about fucking time," and he opens his mouth to tell her not to curse in front of Leia, but then he looks over at where Leia and Leslie are dancing together to the Spice Girls and he realizes he doesn't want to marry Leslie because it would be convenient or would solve their problems. He wants to marry her because he wants to build something with her. A future. A life. 

He can't ask her to marry him today. If he asked her now, in front of Leia and her mom and all of Leslie's friends, she would only think he was doing it to punish her. 

Someone hands Leslie a martini and Leia a cup. They take identical sips of their drinks. Leia's eyes grow large. "That's strawberry!" 

He makes his way over to them. "Hey!" he has to shout over the music. 

"Don't worry," the woman shouts back, "it's non alcoholic." 

Ben nods. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm Ann." 

Ben stills and someone bumps into his back. She's Ann. The infamous Ann Perkins who is as Leslie's described her multiple times, "The most beautiful nurse in the world." 

She scares him more than Marlene. 

"Do you like your drink, Leia?" he asks. She nods, taking a long sip. "Be careful, you'll get brain freeze." 

He makes his way to the kitchen to get a beer. Two people are making out against the island. 

Ben ignores them, grabs a beer and goes outside. The music is still too loud and there are people on his deck in various states of intoxication, but the cold January air feels right on his skin. 

"So, how are you doing?" 

Ben looks over at Marlene as she sips on a glass of white wine. "Um, I'm alright. This is some party." 

"I suppose I should thank you for allowing us to have it here." 

"Well, you didn't really give me a choice," Ben says and Marlene smiles. 

"True." 

Ben inhales, letting the air sting his lungs, feeling Marlene's eyes on him. "I think it's going to snow soon."

"I think so too," she says, setting her now empty glass on the ledge. "You know, when Leslie was little she always hated the fact her birthday was in January, because it meant she couldn't have an outdoor party."

"Yeah. Mine's in November and I was raised in northern Minnesota so I can relate." 

"Hmm," Marlene says, "So tell me, Ben, what are you planning to do?" 

"About?" Ben asks, his heart racing because he's pretty sure he knows already. He puts his hand in his pocket to feel the black box inside, to remind himself that he already has a plan. 

Marlene's eyes are hard as she studies him for a moment before answering. "My daughter hasn't had the best of luck with men. When she told me she was interested in you I encouraged her because you sounded like a good man who would treat her right. But so far all you've done is treat her like a dirty secret." 

"That's not fair," Ben says, "I am trying to protect my daughter."

"And I'm protecting mine," Marlene replies, taking her wine glass with her as she goes back inside. 

Ben watches through the glass door as Ann pours Marlene a strawberry daiquiri. They talk for a moment, and occasionally Ann glances in his direction. 

He's positive they're plotting his death. 

The door opens and Ann pokes her head out. The music has stopped, but Ben can still hear the echo in his head. "We're about to cut the cake, guys. Come inside." She gives Ben a hard look. "That means you, Wyatt."

He follows the others inside and stands near the back, singing Happy Birthday with the others when Leslie comes into the kitchen to blow out the candles. She puts Leia on a chair beside her. 

"Help me blow these out?"

Leia beams back and nods and on the count of three, they blow the candles out together. 

Later, after the cake, the karaoke competition, the presents and even more dancing, most of the guests leave, each getting a hug and a personalized thank you from Leslie as the walk out the door. Ann stays behind to help them clean up. Leslie and Ann sing softly along with Mariah Carey, being careful not to wake a passed out Leia on the couch. 

"I'm going to put her to bed," Ben says, picking her up. The women smile back at him, continuing to take down the streamers and balloons. 

As he takes Leia up to her room, her foot pushes the box inside his pocket into his thigh. He tucks her in, puts Mr. Brownspots into her arms and gives her a kiss on the temple. He then goes into his room and puts the ring into his sock drawer, sure he will give it to Leslie when the time is right. 

First though, he has to fix things between them. 

When he goes back downstairs, they move the couch back and continue cleaning, until the house looks better than it did when Marlene showed up.

"Wow, I'm surprised there's still any alcohol left," Ben says, looking at the bottles. There was still nearly a full bottle of merlot, a third of a bottle of chardonnay, and the vodka was still half full. The only thing that was completely gone was the rum. 

"Most people had to drive so they didn't drink a lot. Except for Ann's daiquiris. She makes the best daiquiris. Tell 'em Ann. Tell Ben how you make the best daiquiris." 

"I make the best daiquiris," Ann says, and they fall over into giggles. 

"I guess so." He picks up the last trash bag to take outside. "I'll be right back." 

A snowflake hits him in the nose as he pushes the trash bag down into the bin with the others. Then another hits his cheek as he walks back up the driveway. The snow is light as it falls to the ground, making the grass brighter. 

"It's snowing," he tells them and they jump, as if in the middle of a private conversation they don't want him to hear. 

He really hopes Ann isn't trying to convince Leslie to leave. 

"That's my cue," Ann says, standing up and brushing her hands off on her jeans. 

Leslie stands with her and Ben can only watch as the two hug for what feels like years. Eventually though, Leslie stops comparing Ann to a steady and powerful buffalo and allows Ann to go. 

The door closes and it's just the two of them. Ben sits on the couch, the day finally catching up with him. 

"Hey," she says, sounding happier than she has in over a week. "Do you think we have any cake left?"

"I'm pretty sure I saw a piece," Ben answers, closing his eyes. "You want me to get it?"

"No." Leslie laughs and he can feel the couch move as she stands up, "I'll get it." 

Moments later, she returns. "Mmm, this is so good."

He remembers thinking it was overly sweet, but he doesn't argue. Instead he opens his eyes and reaches for her hand, taking it into his. She doesn't pull away, so Ben counts it as a win. 

"So, we should talk."

She sighs, putting her plate down on the coffee table. "I don't want to fight, Ben."

"No fighting," he says, sitting up. "The opposite actually. I wanted to say I'm sorry. The other night, what happened wasn't your fault and everything that happened after, that was me being a jerk."

"You were a jerk." She doesn't sound mad anymore though. Ben's not sure if it's because she's genuinely forgiven him or if it's the alcohol and cake talking. He'll take either. 

"I know." 

Leslie closes her eyes for a several seconds before exhaling, her eyes meeting his again. "My relationship adviser Ann Perkins says I should tell you what I'm feeling, and I wrote some things down, but I left them upstairs and I'm too tired to get them."

"You? Tired?" Ben teases. "I didn't think that was possible." 

"Shut up. You didn't get me a present."

Ben laughs. "That's what you think. I just didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone."

"Okay," she says, eyes narrowed, "then give it to me now."

"I can't," Ben says, falling against the back of the couch again. "It's upstairs and I'm too tired to get it." 

He prays she doesn't make him go since he doesn't technically have a present for her that isn't made of diamonds and silver. He's sure he could find something if he looked hard enough, a book on a political figure or a stuffed animal in the back of his closet he was saving for Leia or maybe even something that used to belong to Sarah he could- no, no, that's a terrible idea, worse than the ring or Chris' ankle weights. 

"It's fine," she says, meaning it, "You and Leia can give it to me tomorrow." 

"Great." He wonders if she somehow knows he doesn't have anything for her. "You have tomorrow off by the way."

"What about work?" 

"It's no big deal," Ben answers looking at the way her hand fits perfectly inside his. "I want you to have it off. Think of it as part one of your present." 

To his surprise, she kisses him, lips soft and sure against his. "Thank you." 

"I really am sorry." 

"I know and I'm sorry too." 

There's a pause in the conversation, but it's a nice pause, in which Leslie rests her head on his shoulder and the silence is a full, easy breath and soft touches. And it is in this pause that Ben realizes what he could give Leslie that would be better than a ring or a book or new bag for her books. 

"I talked to your mom today-"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. She didn't molest you did she?"

"Uh, no. She just made me realize that I haven't been the best boss. Or the best boyfriend. And that I can't be both." 

"Oh," Leslie says, frowning slightly. "I hate when she's right."

"Yeah."

"So, which one do you want to be?" 

He looks down at their hands. It's not even a choice. "Your boyfriend." He almost tells her he wants to be more but he figures he should start small for now. "Which means-”

"You're firing me."

"I actually see it more of a promotion," Ben says, kissing her hand. "I love you, Leslie Knope and I want you to stay with-"

She kisses him so hard he's knocked back on the couch. 

"Us." 

"For realksies?"

"Yeah, for realskies," he says, not sure which part she's referring to. 

"But what about Leia and I'll need to find a new job-"

"We'll tell her together. And we'll figure it out. I'll put you on my bank account so you don't have to work until you graduate, unless you want a job-"

"I actually love spending time with Leia," Leslie admits. "And it would be nice to not have to worry about work while I'm school. Or you getting hot with the new nanny. Although, considering you only hire old crones-"

"Hey, I hired you."

"Yeah, and see what happened?" She cackles. "You're making out with the nanny." 

"Ex nanny," he says, kissing her again. God he missed kissing her. He's about to push his hand up her shirt when she pulls away. 

"Oh I almost forgot! I love you too."

Ben grins and pulls her closer.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The 11th chapter. It is by far my favorite, and contains my most favorite line in all of literature. See if you can guess which one it it is! 
> 
> As always, we are so grateful for your love and support. It means the world to us. WE LOVE YOU!

It’s one of those perfect May days. It’s not too hot yet and the sun keeps playing hide and seek behind the clouds. It’s a day to be out at the park, sipping a Sweetums double mocha fudge coffee blast and reading a good political thriller. The birds would be chirping and children would be laughing, the wind cooling her enough when the sun blazed across her skin. 

Unfortunately, Leslie’s not on a picnic blanket in the middle of Ramset Park. Instead, she’s taking her last final of her first year of graduate school.

Leslie folds over her test packet, checks her scantron over again to make sure she bubbled in all of her answers clearly, and does a once over in her blue book for grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Perfect. She smiles as she places it on her professor's desk, thanking her for a great semester, and pushes open the door.

The clouds slide away from the sun and Leslie enjoys the new warmth. It really is summer. It’s odd to think that she was considering a move back to her mom’s house once the school year was over, as if she could’ve predicted what has happened over the last nine months.

But no, she won’t be going back to her mom’s house this summer. She’s almost, like 99.9% sure she may never move back into her mom’s house, or anyone else’s house, except the one she now calls home.

“Hey!”

Leslie blinks, stopping before the path that’ll take her back down to the far parking lot, the one by the little patch of grass and tall trees. She must’ve really been in a start-of-summer blissful haze because she missed them entirely.

Leia is already running toward her, Ben’s hand outstretched like he was trying to keep her from running too soon. Leia isn’t great at keeping secrets or surprises. Ben probably had a plan and it’s currently backfiring. It’s okay; what Ben lacks in surprise skills, Leslie makes up for it. 

She bends down and accepts the giant hug from Leia, lifting her up into the air as she squeals. Leslie blows raspberries into Leia’s cheek and they both laugh. Leslie squeezes her again, lifting her head to watch Ben slowly walk up to them. 

He’s holding some stuffed animal along with Mr. Brownspots. His eyes are soft, head tilted just slightly with his mouth at an angle to match. Leslie loves this look. It’s the look he gives her when she’s singing Wiggles songs with Leia in the living room or making pancakes on Sunday mornings while Leia sits on the counter, counting blueberries. There’s also a version of this look that passes his face when he finally gets Leslie naked.

“Don’t you have work?” Leslie asks right before Ben’s lips push against hers.

Ben shrugs. “Didn’t feel like going.”

Leslie rolls her eyes, accepting another kiss, this time on her forehead. Ben rubs Leia’s hair, free and wild curls that desperately need to be cut. 

“We’re going to the park!” Leia exclaims, throwing her hands out wide. 

Leslie can’t stop the huge smile from spreading across her face. She looks between Leia and Ben. He lifts his eyebrows, nodding his head proudly. Leslie squeals, jumping a little with Leia on her hip. When Leslie finally puts her down, Ben hands Leslie the other stuffed animal.

Leslie gasps again, tears pricking at her eyes like they do when Ben is too perfect.

“It’s Melvin!”

Ben nods. “Yep, Melvin.”

Leslie turns the stuffed bee in her hands, remembering the hard working little bee they watched in a documentary on the Discovery Channel a few weeks ago. Since then, anytime Leslie was struggling with school work or she got a less than stellar grade, Ben would hug her, kissing her temples, her nose, her chin, anywhere he could reach, and whisper, “Now, now, Melvin would tell you to keep going.”

Leia reaches up and snatches Mr. Brownspots from Ben’s hand, hugging him the same way Leslie is holding Melvin. Ben reaches behind him, pulling out his sunglasses and sliding them onto his nose.

“Well,” he says, putting his hands on his hips, “shall we, ladies?”

//

“You really didn’t have to skip work for me,” Leslie says, taking a bite of a strawberry.

They’re sitting underneath a tree, Leslie’s shoes gone, legs crossed at the ankle. Ben is resting his head in her lap and Leslie periodically gives him a grape or cracker to snack on. His sunglasses are gone, his eyes closed as he silently munches. Sometimes he looks up at her and Leslie feels her heart jump a little when she catches his gaze. 

“It’s a special day,” Ben says simply.

Leslie smiles, the breeze picking up as she pushes her hand through his hair. He makes a small moaning sound and she tugs his hair a little. He lifts an eyebrow.

“Careful,” he warns.

She giggles, looking up at the playground, scanning for Leia. She’s running around with another girl who looks a little older, her hair long and red behind her. It looks like she’s let Leia borrow a fairy wand with ribbons dangling from the plastic, silver star on top. They use them as swords.

“I think Leia wants a puppy,” Ben says with a sigh.

Leslie watches as Leia jumps up onto the structure, running across the wobbly bridge to the slide, her new friend following behind. 

“What would give you that idea?” Leslie teases.

It’s well known that Leia wants a puppy. Everyone knows. The delivery guy from a few days ago knows, the checker at the grocery store, anyone with a dog that lets Leia pet it. Her teachers definitely know, helping her add the word ‘dog’ underneath her drawings of Ben, Leslie, and herself with a dalmatian. Or a beagle type dog, or something that looks more like a monster sometimes. Whenever Leia would show them to Ben, he’d comment on her spelling skills, anxiously ignoring the blatant shouting of Leia’s want of a dog.

“What do you think?” Ben asks, reaching for her hand and bringing it up to his lips.

“I love dogs,” Leslie says. Ben kisses her knuckles and over the top of her hand, her fingers, her palms. It makes it hard to help make a thoughtful decision. “And it might help Leia learn responsibility.” 

She sighs, Ben’s lips traveling to her wrist. He pulls her down and Leslie kisses him. They’re small kisses, ones that are more smiles than anything else, until his tongue smooths against her lower lip and she kisses him harder.

“Careful,” Leslie whispers, pulling back.

Ben growls as Leslie sits back up. Leia and her new friend are in the grass now, trying to do cartwheels. Leslie smiles as the girls topple over, their legs hardly getting up in the air. 

“You could start small, like a hamster or something,” Leslie suggests, her hand going back into Ben’s hair. 

“Or a turtle.”

Leslie scrunches her face, her fingers still on his head. He looks up at her.

“What?”

“Not a turtle.”

“Fine, not a turtle.” Ben shakes his head and Leslie starts playing with his hair again. “I don’t want a cat.” Ben sighs. “It’s clear she wants a dog.”

“Very clear,” Leslie laughs.

“It’s going to sleep in my bed, isn’t it?” 

Leslie laughs, causing Ben to groan and rub his hand over his face. He’s smiling, though, and her own excitement about a dog joining the family is almost too hard to hide. Leia runs to them, asking for grapes to share with her new friend and the two girls hide underneath the structure, munching grapes. Leslie keeps an eye on them, picturing possible dog breeds, forming a New Dog binder in her head. She may be out of tabs, but there may be some more under her bed at her mom’s house. 

“She’s so great,” Leslie says, brushing her fingers through Ben’s hair, “she deserves to have a dog.”

Ben’s eyes blink open, looking up at Leslie before turning to find Leia in the distance. His lips tilt up and Leslie rubs her thumb along the top of his ear. 

“Yeah,” Ben says with a sigh. “Yeah.”

//

With the whole summer ahead of her, Leslie feels incredibly weightless.

There are many factors going into this, of course. There’s no school to worry about, no job to look for, only Leia and Ben and everything the summer has to offer. Days at the pool, a weekend trip or two to Ben’s parents’ lake house, Fourth of July, picnics, and she may even have Ben considering a camping trip. Maybe. Then there’s most of July and August, when Leia will be in Peru.

“Hey,” Ben says, walking into the kitchen. He’s dimly lit by the soft light coming from beneath the microwave. His hair's a mess and it makes Leslie’s insides burn. “I’m sorry if she hurt your feelings.”

Leslie shook her head, putting a hand up. “Oh, it’s okay, I mean, she’s requested me over you before.” She snapped a Tupperware full of rice closed. “I mean, I am the best at Pink Crayon’s voice.”

“True.” 

Ben grabs the container and places it in the fridge. Once the door closes, he turns just enough to grab Leslie’s wrist and pull her around, slamming her into the refrigerator door. 

Leslie gasps, her back arching against the cool steel, giving Ben’s hands room to roam along her hips and waist, sliding around her back, lifting her shirt as he goes. He pushes his body against hers, placing his thigh between her legs, trapping her. He doesn’t kiss her lips, instead nudging her chin up with his nose and sucking on the tender flesh of her neck.

She hisses, tangling her fingers into his hair, the corners of her mouth lifting as Ben’s tongue circles around his lips and he sucks. Leslie whispers his name and his teeth graze her skin.

“I don’t think I properly congratulated you on completing your first year of graduate school, Ms. Knope.”

Leslie swallows back a moan, her body shaking in anticipation and want, like his words, all low, smooth, and dark, are too much. Ben is often too much, whispering in her ear while they watch Doc McStuffins, causing her toes to curl and her thighs to rub together. Then there was that preschool fundraiser gala where he kept his hand on the small of her back, and whenever some other mom (sometimes with a ring on her hand) flirted with him, he’d squeeze Leslie’s neck, or graze her ass as a reminder.

“You gave me Melvin,” Leslie says, a gasp breaking up her bee’s name.

Ben lifts his head and Leslie can feel the bruise starting to form on her skin. Damnit, it’s too hot for a scarf.

He kisses her, picking up her hands and pushing them above her head. His hips move, pushing into hers.

“Melvin was just the kid friendly gift. I couldn’t exactly give you this one on your campus, in front of everyone, let alone my own daughter.”

Leslie giggles, because that’s what Ben Wyatt does to her now. He makes her giggle, he leaves trails of flames against her skin, he makes her heart swell and her eyes prick with tears. He frustrates her and he kisses his apologies against her lips while she whispers her own. He makes her understand what it’s like to be completely whole in every sense of the word. 

Ben gave her a family; a bigger one.

He slides his hands down her arms, along her sides and hooks his fingers into her pajama bottoms and yanks them down her legs, growling.

“Ben!”

Ben places a finger over his lips as he kneels down in front of her. She considers stopping him, telling him they can easily take this gift giving session into the bedroom, but it’s hard to think of anything to say when he’s eyeing her like that, all dark eyes and determination, as he’s lifting one of her legs onto his shoulder. She adjusts for balance, sliding her hand into his hair.

His tongue takes one, long, deep lick and Leslie gasps, hands flying behind her to steady herself against the refrigerator. Ben’s fingers dig deep into the flesh of her thighs, fingernails dragging as he moves them up to her hips. Her head flies back and she closes her eyes, biting her lips closed so she won’t scream out his name when he pushes his tongue deeper, doesn’t moan when his nose rubs her clit.

Ben moans, muffled against her and she feels the vibrations rise up through her stomach and into her chest. The heat keeps rising, continues to spread, dipping and swirling with every move of his tongue. A hand slides over her thigh, moving along to her ass, exploring her there, and Leslie can’t help the groan that escapes. 

He stops, moving away from her, his lips swollen and jaw wet. She’s always thought her thighs were maybe a bit too thick but one looks spectacular there on Ben’s shoulder.

“You have to be quiet.”

Ben licks his lips and Leslie moans behind her closed lips, glaring at him. He smiles and disappears against her pussy again. Her back arches and Ben slides lower, deeper. Her hips move on their own, seeking him out, demanding more as if he has anything more to give.

Leslie loses her balance, her leg slipping off his shoulder, trying to right herself, but she falls anyway. She yelps as her ass hits the floor.

“Are you okay?” Ben whispers, holding her hips, eyes dark and big as they roam her body.

“Yes,” she says.

“Good.”

He widens her thighs and digs in again.

“Ben!” Leslie whispers. “Holy f--”

Ben’s fingers dig into her hips and she gasps.

“Quiet,” he growls.

The heat spikes into something white hot and crawls over her skin and pools between her legs, pulsing and climbing. She puts her hand over her mouth, clamps her lips shut, and hopes she’s quiet enough as Ben’s fingers slip inside her. He flicks them up, rubbing and thrusting as he sucks and circles her clit like he gets some sick, twisted pleasure out of torturing her. 

Screw it, if he does, she most certainly doesn’t mind, in fact, she fucking enjoys it. 

She comes against his mouth, back arched on the kitchen tile and hands clamped over her mouth. 

Ben sits up and lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth. His smile is wicked as he crawls over her and kisses her lips softly. It’s a sweet, romantic kiss, one she’d expect over dinner or in the morning, not after being thoroughly eaten on the kitchen floor.

“I love you,” he whispers. “I’m so proud of you.”

Leslie smiles, her cheeks warming. She rolls her hips below him and he groans.

“Thank you,” Leslie says, reaching up to kiss him. “I love you, too.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ben asks. Leslie nods. “Good, because we need to go to bed.”

Leslie tilts her head, unable to stop the disappointment going across her face. She thought sex was next, surely sex is supposed to come next.

Ben helps her up and she grabs her pajama pants, slipping them back on. Ben puts the rest of the leftovers in the fridge and turns off the kitchen light, grabbing her hand. 

She’s been sleeping in his room for months. Leia loves it, especially since, as a compromise, Ben promised Leia that every Wednesday night, she gets to sleep in the bed with them. Leslie didn’t think Leia needed any kind of compromise, but she couldn’t deny the happiness for Sleepover Wednesdays beaming off of Leia as soon as Ben pitched the idea.

Plus, Leslie loves Sleepover Wednesdays, too, even if Leia is the biggest bed hog for someone so little. 

“Are we really just going to bed?” Leslie asks as Ben strips off his t-shirt.

He turns down the comforter and throws off the extra pillows, each one landing on the floor with a small thud. He takes off his pants, his boxers following, and then he rounds the bed, grabbing Leslie’s waist before she can get into bed.

“After I’m done with you, yes,” Ben says and Leslie sinks against him, her heart beating wild in her chest. “But we need to get some sleep if we’re going to get to the animal shelter bright and early.”

Leslie gasps, but before she can bounce up and down and clap or grab confetti to toss, Ben picks her up and throws her onto the bed.

//

“What are you doing here?”

April has her arms crossed, hip popped against a table with various fliers and forms spread across it. She tilts her chin down and stares at Ben. Everyone knows about Leslie and Ben now, but April still likes to look at him like she’s plotting his demise just in case. It’s sweet.

“A puppy!” Leia screams. 

Ben puts his hands on Leia’s shoulders, bending down to shush her while also keeping a wary eye on April. Leslie slides her hand through Ben’s arm and leans into him as if that might calm him. He spilled his coffee this morning, missing his mouth entirely, sloshing it over his front. His hands have an extra tremble to them.

“Yes, your cutest dog, please.”

“Your smallest dog,” Ben corrects. 

Leslie rolls her eyes, squeezing Ben tighter. Leia walks forward as April points to the pens with adoptable dogs, and motioning toward the Cat Corridor in case they want to look at cats as well. Leslie follows Leia to the first row of pens, glancing back to make sure Ben is coming too.

He’s not, he’s with April, a hand rubbing the back of his neck as he talks to her. Leslie waits, watching him sigh and ask questions again, leaving April to answer them more seriously the second time. His eyes find Leslie’s, a little wide. She notices he didn’t brush his hair today.

“You coming?” Leslie asks.

“In a minute, go ahead.”

She turns, following Leia down the hallway. Leslie almost calls out for Leia to stop. Maybe Ben isn’t ready to get a dog, maybe he isn’t financially ready to handle the vet bills or the stress of possible medical conditions and how that would affect Leia. Honestly, Leslie didn’t think about that at all, she’s always thought of Leia as completely resilient and flexible, able to sidestep the punches and smile through it. Leia’s strong and Leslie’s sure Ben knows that, but sometimes he has his Dad Blinders on. His Dad Blinders make him say the firepole on the playground at Ramsett Park is too high or worry about how Leia will handle the goodbye with Sarah mid August. Leia can handle this, she can handle anything. 

“Leia?” 

Maybe they should talk about it before they see any dogs, maybe only look at the ones that are healthy and young so Leia can grow with the dog, or maybe --

Leslie gasps. An actual, cinematic gasp. 

Leia is kneeling in front of a pen, her little fingers through the chain link door. She’s giggling as a giant St. Bernard licks and slobbers all over her hands. Its pink tongue finds its way through the fence and there’s drool dripping on the wire and Leia’s fingers. She squeals and Leslie walks closer to see the dog is actually laying down and its tail is swinging wildly.

“Oh no,” Leslie says, but she kneels down and smiles, reaching her hand to get a turn for kisses.

“She’s giving me kisses,” Leia says between giggles.

“She’s very pretty,” Leslie says. She tries to reach in and pet the dog, but instead gets covered in slobber. “But maybe we should look at some more dogs.”

Leslie can’t sound convincing, she loves this dog as much as Leia does. She’s beautiful, with long soft fur that is brown and white with perfect spots of black, like around her eyes and nose with a little splash of it by her tail. Leia says she’s smiling as the dog breathes, tongue sticking out of her mouth and drool pooling in her jowls. Leslie agrees, she is smiling, she looks like the happiest dog in the universe.

A dog she can imagine walking around the house, following her around the kitchen, hoping for scraps of chicken, or sprawled out on the rug in the living room after a long walk through the park. Leslie can see her with a red ribbon around her neck at Christmas while Ben picks up Leia to put the star on top of the tree and Leslie hurries to finish wrapping cookies to deliver. Leslie wants to see her running around Ramsett Park and the backyard, she wants her there when Leia is home sick and needs someone to cuddle. Leslie can see this dog around while Leia grows, a perfect partner in crime during her childhood. 

Leslie blinks, a comfortable, steady warmth settling into her chest. She turns to look at Leia, whose face is pushed against the door and the dog sniffs her face. Leia giggles, leaning back to laugh, her cackle echoing in the hall. Some dogs are barking, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Only this dog and Leia do.

“What… who… what is this?” 

Ben stops behind them, paperwork rolled in his hand. Leslie gets up, putting a hand on his arm. He doesn’t seem to flinch or move under her touch, just keeps staring at the dog and Leia as if he already knows he’s doomed.

“This is” -- Leslie looks at the adoption sheet, pulling Ben closer -- “Flo,” Leslie says, scrunching her face. They’ll have to change that. “She’s quiet, loves other animals, and small children.” Leslie motions toward Leia, but Ben has yet to move. “And her owner passed away and she’s looking for her forever home, aw.”

“Um,” Ben says, swallowing. “That’s nice, but, there’s… also a pek-a-chon? Over in the playroom, I had April get it, it’s… small and--”

Leslie shakes her head. “I don’t think you’re going to pry her away from that dog.”

Ben watches Leia. Flo now has her head down, nose pressed against the door. Leia is giggling and poking Flo’s snout and Flo doesn’t move, just blinking as Leia laughs and feels the soft fur and wet nose of her new friend. 

“Hey padawan,” Ben says, kneeling next to Leia, “April has a very cute dog ready for us in the playroom--”

“Can she come into the playroom?” Leia asks, her eyes big and face stretched in happiness. Her cheeks are tinged pink like the excitement is making her hot. 

“Well, I really think we should meet more than just one dog--”

“Please, daddy?”

Ben rubs his brow. “There’s a dog waiting for us, Leia. She’s small and a very good… princess dog.”

Leia’s eyebrows scrunch in a look that is completely inherited by her father.

“But she’s a princess dog!” she says, motioning to Flo.

Ben hangs his head. “That’s a pretty big princess dog.”

Leia continues to ask him if she can play with the dog in the playroom and Ben continues to rub his brow until he stands up and takes Leslie aside. Leia goes back to receiving lazy kisses from Flo.

“Can you help me out here?” Ben asks, his tone biting and exhausted.

“What? She likes Flo, and Flo sounds like a good dog.”

“Well, Flo, is enormous and will fill the house with hair and slobber.”

Leslie rolls her eyes and Ben groans. 

“She can’t have that dog,” Ben says.

“Why not?”

“I just told you!”

“Keep your voice down and stop being a turd.”

Ben scoffs, turning and walking in a small circle. A mutt barks at him and he jumps, walking back to Leslie.

“I’m being reasonable, that dog is going to ruin the house and possibly drown us all in drool.” 

Ben turns back to Leia and Flo. Flo has now moved to her side and is panting and Leia is laying on the floor, imitating her, chatting. Leslie can’t quite make out what they’re saying, but from a few keywords (tutus, rainbow quilt, lightsabers), she’s telling Flo about her room.

“She’s clearly a menace,” Leslie says.

“Leslie.” Ben pinches the bridge of his nose. “Please, I need you to help me.”

“I am helping you. I’m helping you see that if you get this humongous, drooling, princess dog, that everything will be fine and we will survive and be happy.” Leslie motions toward Leia and Flo. “Leia will be happy.”

Ben drops his hands to his waist, sucking in his bottom lip as he turns his attention back to Leia. She’s still laying on her side, mirroring Flo, but she’s quiet now. Leslie looks between Leia and Ben, trying to figure out what the roll of his lip between his teeth and the slight pinch to his brow means. She loops her arm into his and leans into him and she smiles when he leans back into her.

Ben sighs, tilting his head on top of hers, his voice defeated and amused.

“She’s going to sleep in my bed.”

Leslie springs away with him, unbelieving, but he’s smiling in that way he does when Leia and Leslie sit on the couch and eat cookies or when they both chant that they want waffles for breakfast. Leslie claps and then grabs Ben’s shoulders, kissing him on the cheek.

He adjusts so he can kiss her lips and Leslie whispers that she’s sorry for calling him a turd and he gives her one more quick kiss before walking down the hall, presumably to rearrange the playroom arrangements. Leslie goes back to the cage and reaches in to scratch Flo underneath her snout.

“You like Flo?” Leslie asks. 

Leia shakes her head. “Flo?”

“That’s her name.”

“No, it’s not,” Leia says, sitting up. “It’s Princess Rainbow Shooting Star Skywalker Wyatt.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of names.”

Leia shrugs. “I’ll remember it.”

Princess Rainbow Shooting Star Skywalker Wyatt stands up, her tail wagging as she looks behind Leslie’s head. Ben’s back with April, who is holding a leash. Leia leaps to her feet and shifts her weight from right to left as if she’s trying to contain her excitement. 

Ben’s hair has somehow only gotten wilder and he reaches for Leia, putting his hands on her shoulders and pulling her into him, eyes steady on the dog. April opens the pen door and Princess Rainbow Shooting Star Skywalker Wyatt waits patiently as April puts on her leash and walks her out. 

Leslie understands Ben’s concern now that the dog is walking and walking right toward Leia. Ben’s fingers grip a little harder on her, but Leia smiles so big, arms open wide to greet her. 

“Be gentle,” Leslie and Ben say together.

Ben’s eyes flick to Leslie and she gives him a hopefully reassuring smile. Leia puts her hand on the dog’s head and pets her soft all the way to her collar and starts again. The dog nuzzles her in her chest and Leia erupts in laughter, falling back against Ben’s legs. 

“This is Flo,” April says, still holding the leash.

“No, it’s Princess Rainbow Shooting Star Skywalker Wyatt,” Leia says.

“Oh boy,” Ben says. The dog has now moved on to Ben’s hand on Leia’s shoulder, licking it for all she’s worth, her tail going wild. “Maybe a shorter name?” Ben moves his hand, but the dog follows. 

“Star for short,” Leia says with a perky finality. 

Star turns her body, nudging Leia and Ben with her large mass until they’re against the wall and Ben has no other choice but to pet her. Ben looks at his hand, wet from slobber, and then pats Star on her back while Leia rubs her head. 

Leslie walks over to them smiling up at Ben, who still looks like he’s not quite sure how petting a dog works, and kneels in front of Star’s cute, wet face and scratches her neck.

“Don’t worry,” Leslie whispers, “he’ll learn to love you.”

Star responds by drooling on Leslie’s forearm.

//

It’s incredibly hot.

Leslie has dumped most of the ice from the freezer into Star’s water bowl and Leia's been in her bathing suit since she woke up. The AC is broken and the dog keeps panting as she follows Ben around the house, all four of them overheated and cranky. Even Leia had an out of character meltdown about not being allowed to have a third Popsicle before lunch.

Now, she’s coloring in front of a fan, favoring the cooling breeze over the constant need to hold down her coloring book in the wind. Ben's shirtless, sprawled out on the couch while Leslie starts another batch of Popsicle. On her way back to the living room, she puts a plate of watermelon slices next to Leia, flicking her puffy pony tail that is large and high on the top of her head. Leslie moves to sit next to Ben, but Star beats her, like she often does, and lays down on top of Ben’s legs.

“Ugh, Star, it’s too hot,” Ben groans.

“She loves her dad,” Leslie says, rubbing Star behind the ears. She kneels down and kisses Ben’s nose. “I love him, too.”

Ben groans, moving so he can capture her lips. They both smile into their soft kisses and Leslie’s body somehow grows hotter, but it’s pleasant now. A warmth she wants to chase, but can’t. Not right now. Not in the middle of a heat wave in her home with her boyfriend and his daughter. Their daughter.

And a huge dog who loves Ben almost as much as Leslie does.

“I hate how hot it is,” Ben says between kisses, “but I like this outfit.”

He snaps Leslie’s tank top strap and she giggles, swatting him away. Star is looking up at them, her chin resting on Ben’s stomach. 

“She thinks you’re a pervert,” Leslie says.

Ben shrugs and Leslie rolls her eyes, standing back up and announcing for the millionth time that it is way too freaking hot.

“Poor Star,” Ben says, rubbing her head, “wish we could shave off your fur.”

“No!” Leslie and Leia yell together.

Ben puts up his hands, nudging Star so he can stand. “I won’t, I won’t.” Star jumps off the couch, walking over to Leia’s watermelon to give it a sniff. “What do you say we turn on the sprinkler?”

Leia drops her crayons and screams her agreement, running toward the back door. Star looks up at Ben, as if asking for permission for something, and he nods. She trots off after Leia.

Ben pulls Leslie back into him before she can leave and she yelps as their chests make contact. He leans down, kissing her, pushing her lips open with his, and moaning into her mouth. His nails slide down her back making it arch and his hands cup her ass, squeezing.

“Woah,” she says against his lips. “The children.”

He nips at her bottom lip. 

“They’re not here,” Ben growls, proving the heat may be making him delusional by pulling on the drawstring of her shorts. 

“Get a hold of yourself,” she says, sliding her tongue along his lip and her hand against his crotch.

“Daddy!”

They spring apart, looking toward the door but Leia’s not there, only yelling from the backyard. The phone rings and Leslie waves Ben off to go take care of the sprinkler and walks into the kitchen to grab it.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Leslie?”

Leslie blinks, trying to listen, but the other line is busy with noise. There’s various voices, and other sounds she can’t quite make out. Beeping and the hum of engines. But she knows the voice on the other end.

“Hi Sarah,” Leslie says, opening the freezer. “Yes, it’s Leslie.”

“Sorry, it’s loud out here, but I had a free moment so I thought I’d call.” Leslie nods as if Sarah can see her and leans into the opening freezer, feeling the cold air on her skin. “How are you? How’s the dog?”

“I’m great, the dog is good. And hot. We’re all hot. The AC is out.”

“It’s hot here, too. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be, at all, I’m sure it’s nothing compared to whatever you’re dealing with.” 

Leslie’s gut fills a little with shame, but she shakes it off. There’s no need to compare herself with Sarah. Some women run around the world and heal the sick, others build better governments, or will. 

“Did you get the care package we sent?” Leslie asks.

“Yes, I got all 10 boxes. The stickers were a hit.”

“Great!” Leslie shuts the freezer door and turns her head at the sound of Leia’s joyful screams. She rounds the corner to the back door and leans against the doorframe, watching. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well, it’s busy, the usual. I can’t seem to get any sleep lately.”

“Sleep is for the birds,” Leslie says. Sarah laughs and it sounds a lot like Leia’s little laugh that she does when Leslie makes the funny Piglet voice. “My mom is getting into essential oils for sleeping, maybe I’ll send you some.”

“Sounds good,” Sarah says. “Hey, I have about five minutes, is Leia available? We’re trying to get her room in order, and I… I don’t know her favorite colors.”

Leslie doesn’t miss the tone of guilt in Sarah’s voice, even though Leslie doesn’t think she deserves to put herself through it. Sarah is putting the effort in and Leia is loved, from so many places around the world, she’s very, very lucky. They’ve talked about this before, during a middle of the night phone call where they both cried. Sarah said Leslie was so glad Leia could have a mother like her and Leslie said Sarah was incredibly inspirational and they were both a mess.

“Let me get her, she’s running around in the sprinkler.” 

“With the dog?”

“With the dog.”

“Ben?” 

Leslie laughs. “Yep.”

“Good.”

Leslie smiles, holding the phone out, calling for Leia. Leia meets Leslie halfway and takes the phone, an excited, “Hi mommy!” escaping her mouth before she actually has the phone to her ear. Leslie watches Star shake out her fur all over Ben, who puts up his hands, cursing.

“How’s Sarah?” Ben asks as Leslie slides up next to him.

“Good, she liked the stickers. I told you.”

Ben smiles, wrapping his arms around Leslie’s waist.

“You did.” 

Ben’s skin is cold and it feels good against her hot skin, only rising in temperature thanks to the sun and Ben. He bends down, booping her nose with his and Leslie can’t help but push up on her tiptoes and kiss him quickly. Leia babbles on as she paces a small patch of grass and Ben leads Leslie through the sprinkler, yelping as the water splashes against her skin. Star barks and jumps around them.

Somehow, Ben ends up chasing her, and she chases him. It’s ridiculous and Leslie cackles when he slips and almost face plants into the grass. Ben’s quick to catch her when she does the same. Leia puts down the phone on the patio table and screams as she runs through the sprinkler at full force. Ben catches her and holds her upside down, giving Leslie the best vantage point for blowing raspberries on Leia’s tummy.

Leia laughs and screams as Star barks, nudging Ben’s thigh with her huge snout. He doesn't seem to mind the drool at the moment, but he uses every opportunity to complain. And the fur. Except, he smiles while he does it.

Ben lets Leia go and she runs around the sprinklers with Star as the adults step back from the water, watching. 

“We should start planning her birthday party,” Leslie says, leaning against Ben. 

She hums as he rubs her back. Leia will be in Peru for her actual birthday, but they’re going to celebrate in a week.

“Yeah. She wants to go to the zoo.” 

“That’s easy, right, they do the whole thing? Decorating and cake? I mean, I will have to supplement a lot of my own stuff and design ideas, we’re definitely going to have to switch out the cake--”

Ben lifts her chin and kisses her in one swift motion. Leslie melts into him, but he pulls back before she can even hope to deepen the kiss. He nudges her nose with his.

“Do you have a binder started?” he asks.

HIs eyes are soft and this warm brown color that the sun is doing wonders for. She’s so glad he left his sunglasses inside. 

“Of course.”

“I love you.”

Leslie’s cheeks turn warm, as if he’s saying those words for the first time. He does this, though, makes every significant and perfect moment feel like the first time, over and over again. 

She wonders if that’s what life with Ben will be like, forever. As his partner, a mother for Leia, his wife. Holy marbles, she wants to be his wife.

“Leslie! Daddy!” Leia yells. She’s running in a circle, Star following close behind at a slow trot. “I’m beating Star!”

“But you can’t beat me,” Ben says, running up to her. 

He makes a big show of falling behind, falling down on the grass while panting and saying he’s too slow, too tired. Leslie can’t help but laugh with Leia. Leslie does the same, flattening out on the grass next to Ben and Leia runs, jumping onto Leslie while Star rolls over onto Ben.

The sun warms them and someone should really go turn off the water, but for a few minutes, Leslie just relishes in the cool grass below, the sprinkles of water hitting her face, and the little body nestled between her and Ben. He taps Leslie’s hand and she opens it, welcoming him and they hold hands beneath Leia’s body as her breathing slows and the grass floods.

“We should get out of the sun, we’ll burn,” Ben whispers.

Leslie nods, turning her head to face him. His eyes are that soft brown again, round and relaxed, his mouth tilted just enough to make her insides electrified. 

“Just a few more minutes,” Leslie says.

Ben nods, squeezing her hand. She squeezes him back.

She wishes she had a photographer to take a picture of this. Instead, she settles for the sun burn and the squeeze of her heart and the gratitude that this, this family, this life, is hers. Forever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter! As always, we thank you for you support and love. Especially bookworm03 who betaed this and continues to be our #1 champion. 
> 
> We love you! 
> 
> P.S. This may be the end of the fic, but it's not the end of the universe.

In the morning Ben wakes up between three women, one of whom pants in his face. He reaches out and scratches her behind her ear, saying, "Morning, Star." 

She drools on his arm in return. "Thanks," he says, moving Leia off his legs so he can get up. He grabs a towel out of the hamper and wipes off the drool, looking at Leia and Leslie. 

Ben's a little surprised Leslie's still asleep, considering she's usually up before him. He's not complaining though, as seeing his ladies sleeping so peacefully brings a feeling of lightness to his chest. 

Star nudges him with her snout. He pets her again, a silent apology for forgetting why she woke him up in the first place. 

He makes her go down the stairs first, having learned that trying to go down stairs at the same time as a huge dog makes for some scary situations, especially when Leia's involved. 

But even Ben has to admit that Star and Leia are great together. And it has taught Leia a lot about responsibility. She's the one who feeds and waters Leia every day. And in the evenings when they all go for their evening walk, Leia is the one who brings the grocery sacks to clean up any 'number twos'. 

He lets Star out and leaves the door open while he goes back to the kitchen to start the coffee. 

He then goes out to the deck and watches as Star sniffs around the yard, looking for the right spot to go. 

The air feels slightly colder today. He'll have to remind them to wear jackets if they go to the park. 

A pair of pale freckled arms wrap around his waist, a forehead becomes pressed against his back. "You're up early," she mumbles. 

He places his hand over hers. "Star woke me up." 

Leslie hums and Ben turns around, so he can kiss her good morning. 

Like most kisses he shares with Leslie, this one deepens quickly, becoming something far more than just a simple good morning kiss. And knowing that Leia won't be up for another hour at least, Ben gives himself permission to touch her, to feel the familiar terrain of her body with his hands. 

She gasps when he slides his hand down her pajama pants, a breathless, "Here?" falling from her lips but she doesn't push him away. 

Ben just kisses her again in response. She's slick and soft and what he really wants to do is bury himself in her, hold her close against him until they both fall apart but Chris will be by on one of his morning runs soon. 

So he settles for making Leslie come with his fingers. 

After, he licks her off his fingers and gives her a slow kiss, just as Chris shouts, "Good morning, Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt!" 

"Morning, Chris," they yell to him as he passes by, waving one hand at them. 

They go back inside, where Star is waiting, laying down in the dining room with a look that says, 'It's about time.' 

Leslie kneels down to pet her. "Her nails are getting long. I'll have to take her in to get them trimmed." 

"Yeah," Ben replies as he pours two cups of coffee. He leaves his black, but puts sugar and cream into Leslie's. 

"I think she's starting to get her winter coat too."

"Great," Ben says, remembering how her hair got over everything during the summer. 

"I bet you can't wait for it to snow," Leslie says to Star, taking her cup from Ben and standing up. She takes a sip and grins. "You're perfect."

"Are you talking to me or the coffee?"

"Both," she says, leaning up to kiss him. 

"I love you," he says. 

"Are you talking to me or the coffee?"

"Both." 

They sit at the table, one hand on their cups, the other on each other. They talk about their plans for the day. Ben tells her about the meeting he has at ten, about how he's supposed to have lunch with Chris. Leslie tells Ben she suspects Leia will want to watch Cinderella again as it's her latest obsession. 

She looks at her cup and sighs. "I need one more," she declares, standing up and taking his too. And as she walks into the kitchen, Ben finds himself wanting to blurt out will you marry me. 

It's not the first time. Ever since he bought her that ring and he fired her, he's been waiting for the right time to actually ask. But lately, more than ever, the words have been threatening to come out, in the most mundane of situations. 

In most ways, Leslie already feels like his wife. The only thing missing is a piece of a paper that makes it official and some rings. 

But those are just technicalities.

Leia wakes up while Ben's shaving. He keeps the door open for her. Sure enough, she comes in and sits on the toilet and tells him about the dream she had. 

"There were these giant birds and they were talking-"

"Like Big Bird?" 

"No, like 'dactyls. But with feathers."

"You know, Pterodactyls probably had feathers." 

Leia scrunches her nose and shakes her head, not believing Ben. 

"So what did they say?" he asks, figuring it's going to be something ridiculous like she needs to watch Cinderella ten times today or that she should only wear her tutu. 

"They told me to eat more candy." 

Ben laughs. "Is that so?"

"And that vegetables are stupid." 

Ben wipes his face with a towel. "Okay well now this giant bird sounds a lot like someone else I know." 

He's going to have to remind Leslie to keep her negative vegetable opinions to herself around Leia. 

"You like broccoli and peas," Ben reminds her as they go back into his room. He takes his shirt off the hanger and puts it on over his white undershirt. "Which one?" he asks, holding out two ties. 

"Green!" 

Ben smiles and puts the green tie on. "Okay, Leia bear, let's go see what Leslie's made us for breakfast."

The kitchen smells like pancakes and bacon. He gives Leslie a kiss while Leia feeds Star and fills her water bowl with fresh water. She then hops up onto the stool and Leslie puts a plate of pancakes in front of her, getting a kiss on the cheek in return. 

"Hey," he says, feigning jealousy. "Where's my kiss?" 

"Well," Leslie says, pretending to be annoyed, "come here." 

He bends down so they can both kiss his cheek. Leia's lips are sticky. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome, daddy," Leia says as Ben takes his plate from Leslie and sits down. 

The three of them eat while Star watches, hoping that someone will accidentally drop a piece of bacon on the floor for her. 

"So, Leia I almost forgot to tell you. April and Sensei Andy invited us and Star to go to the park and have a play date with Champion." 

"Yay! I love Champion."

"Wait," Ben says, slowly realizing, "Andy and April are together?"

"They're married," Leslie replies. "You didn't know that?"

Ben shakes his head. That is not a match he would have pictured. But then again, when Leslie walked into his life he didn't picture wanting to spend the rest of his life with her either. 

"Well, I hope you all have fun," he says, putting his plate in the dishwasher. "I'm off to work." 

"Bye, daddy!" 

He gives them both another kiss, grabs his briefcase and leaves for yet another fun day of accounting. 

 

It's a slow day. The meeting goes without so much as a hiccup, his client information is up to date, leaving Ben with nothing to do except look at his own finances just for fun. 

He's rather relieved when Barney asks him to double check the Steiger account. Ben's pretty sure it's because Barney secretly hates Mr. Steiger and his inability to stop spending beyond his means, but Ben's grateful for the distraction nonetheless. 

There really is something satisfying about telling a man that he shouldn't buy another boat. 

"Well sir, you already have two." 

"But they're different kinds." 

Oh. Well that changes everything, Ben thinks as he rolls his eyes. "Sir if you buy this boat, you might as well file for bankruptcy." 

In the end, he manages to convince Mr. Steiger not to buy another boat. He's hesitant to put it in his victory column though, knowing that tomorrow he'll be calling again, this time asking, "Okay, well what about a smaller boat?"

At noon Chris shows up for their lunch date. They go to Sue's Salads, a fact he plans to keep secret from Leslie as long as he lives. But they're the only place in town that has a good cobb. Or any kind of cobb salad. Or salad at all. 

He wishes he could say the same thing about their watered down excuse for ranch dressing. 

"I'm going to ask Leslie to marry me." He figures it's best to just get that out of the way. 

"That's wonderful," Chris says, "I knew the moment I met Leslie Knope she was the one for you." 

Ben's pretty sure Chris thought no such thing, but he smiles and says, "Thanks." 

"Have you thought about how you're going to do it?" 

"As a matter of fact...no." Aside from the times when he's nearly blurted it out, Ben hasn't actually planned out how he's going to propose. 

"Well what does Leslie like?" Chris asks. "Oh you should take her climbing up Mount Everest." 

"I don't think so." 

Chris does have a point though. He needs to ask someone who really truly knows Leslie how he should propose. 

At two Leslie calls him. "Okay so I set out hamburger but I don't know what I should do with it." 

He's about to suggest hamburgers but then he hears Leia yell, "No, Star, No!" 

"What?"

"Oh no!" Leslie yells. "Star, drop it!" 

Panic makes Ben's blood turn to ice. He envisions Star with white foam coming out of her mouth, growling at his daughter and girlfriend as they try to run for their lives. 

"Hey, hey," he hears Leslie say, "It's okay. I can fix it."

Leia sniffles. "You're a very bad dog, Star." 

"Star didn't know. Why don't you talk to daddy and I'll go get my sewing kit." 

He hears Leia take the phone from Leslie. "Hey, pada-"

"Star killed Mr. Brownspots!" Leia wails. 

Okay well that's slightly better than their dog turning into Cujo, but not by much. "Leslie says she can fix him."

God he hopes Leslie can fix him. 

"But his leg is gone!" 

"I got it!" Leslie announces in the background. 

"You got Mr. Brownspots leg?"

"No, sorry, sweetie. But you know, he doesn't need four legs. Champion only has three legs and he's the second greatest dog ever right?" 

Ben's pretty sure Leia's glaring at Star, wondering if maybe Champion shouldn't be number one. 

"I guess."

"Yes, so he'll just be a three legged Hyena." 

"Hey, Leia," Ben says to catch his daughter's attention. 

"Yes, daddy?"

"Let me speak to Leslie real quick." 

"Hey," Leslie says as soon as she takes the phone. "He lost a leg and quite a bit of stuffing but-"

"I love you." It's not what he wants to say, but it'll suffice for now. 

As the day wears on, Ben considers his options. He could propose at a restaurant, but that seems impersonal. He could put it in her waffles one night, but knowing Leslie she would just eat it. What he needs is help. 

So he calls Leslie back, partly to check on Leia and Mr. Brownspots, but also to ask Leslie if she doesn't mind if he takes Leia out for a father/daughter date. 

"Of course not," she says, her voice choked up. "That is- That is-"

"I know," Ben says, before she starts getting incoherent. "I love you." 

"I love you," Leslie says, still sobbing. 

He hangs up and makes two more phone calls. 

 

When he goes home, Leia is waiting at the door, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She's in a green cotton dress, her hair pinned back with two starfish barrettes. 

"Hello, Leia bear," he says, lifting her up. It occurs to him that soon she'll be too heavy to be carried around, or worse, she won't want to be. Soon, she will hate him, so it's important to get as much time with her as he can, before she decides she wants nothing to do with him. 

"Where are we going?"

"Where do you want to go?" He asks, eyeing the camera in Leslie's hands as the flash keeps going off. 

"Hmm," she says, tapping her finger on her lips like she does whenever she has a place in mind already. "Pizza?"

"Pizza?" Ben says, feigning surprise. "I've never heard of pizza!"

"Oh you two are the most adorable, I love you-" Leslie shakes her head and continues taking pictures. 

"We love you too," Ben says, going over to her to kiss her hello. "Isn't that right, Padawan?"

"YES!" Leia shouts, planting a wet kiss on Leslie's cheek. 

 

"Okay, Leia," Ben says as they pull out of the driveway, Leslie standing at the front door waving and still taking pictures, "We're going to go get pizza, but there's somewhere else we need to go to first." 

"The zoo?" 

"Not the zoo," Ben answers. "Speaking of zoos, how's Mr. Brownspots?

"He's okay. Leslie sewed him back together. We still haven't found his arm though."

Ben suspects the arm will appear in two days, tops. 

He pulls into Marlene's driveway, glad to see Ann's car already parked behind Marlene's. 

"This is Ms. Griggs-Knope's house," Ben tells Leia, seeing her scrunched look of confusion. "Leslie's mom."

"Ohhhh," Leia says, nodding. "She's nice!"

"Um, yeah," Ben agrees, even though a part of him is still terrified of her and Ann, even though he's gotten to know both pretty well since he and Leslie became completely official. 

 

Five minutes later, Ben finds himself standing in front of Leia, Ann and Marlene. All three of them are staring at him hard, making him even more nervous than he thought possible. As Leia face forms a frown, Ben regrets not having this conversation with her in private. He took it for granted that Leia's love for Leslie meant she would be happy if they got married, but maybe he's wrong. 

"Question, daddy." 

"Okay, Padawan." 

"Will there be balloons?"

"Should there be balloons?"

Leia nods eagerly. "Yes! And pizza!"

"Um, I'm not sure pizza is-"

"And a big cake!" 

Ben bites his lip to keep from laughing. "Proposals aren't like birthday parties, padawan." 

"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Ann says, making Ben turn to her. "This is Leslie. You know how she feels about cake." 

"And parties," Marlene adds. 

"Okay, I was thinking more of a romantic restaurant situation? Maybe have them put the ring in her dessert--" He sees all three women shaking their heads- "She'd eat it, wouldn't she?"

"Daddy!"

"Yes, Leia?"

"There should be a carriage!"

"You've been watching Cinderella again," Ben says, picking Leia up to tickle her. "Should I also get squirrels and birds?"

"Yes!" She says, giggling. 

"Okay, now you remember this is our secret right? You can't tell Leslie."

"I promise!" Leia says, grinning ear to ear. 

Ben notices the look Ann and Marlene give each other and he agrees. Leslie will probably know within the hour. 

Maybe he can buy her silence with pizza. 

\---

She tells five people at the pizza joint that, "Daddy's going to marry Leslie." And they congratulate him, even though they have no idea who Leslie is. 

So on the way home, Ben stops at the bakery and runs in, carrying Leia. 

"I will give you a hundred dollars if you make us a cake right now."

"We're closing," the baker says, "I've got to get home to my wife and kids-"

"Two hundred." 

The man sighs. "Look, I've got a white cake in the back that I'm supposed to use for some kids graduation. Give me two hundred now and I'll use that. But I'm not making a new cake right now."

"That's fair," Ben agrees, opening his wallet and handing the baker his money. "I just need it to say will you marry me?"

"What color?

"Red."

"Take about twenty minutes. Wait here." He gives them a long look and grabs two cupcakes out of case and gives them to Ben and Leia. 

So they eat their cupcakes and wait. The cupcakes go fast though, leaving them with nothing to do but talk. 

It's Leia who starts the conversation first. 

"Does this mean Leslie will be my new mommy?"

"One of them, yes. But I think Leslie's already one of your mommies, don't you?"

Leia smiles, nodding. "Yes."

Eventually, the baker comes out from the back carrying a box. "Here you go, one cake with Happy Birthday on it."

"That's not what I-"

"I'm messing with you," the man says. "Now get out of here so I can go home." 

"Thank you," Ben says, peaking at the cake just to make sure it's right. It is. "Come on, Leia Bear. We've got to go buy some balloons." 

The balloon option at Food and Stuff is dismal, but they have a cellophane Garfield balloon so Ben buys it, because Leslie likes Garfield and he figures one balloon is better than none. 

Leslie's sitting on the couch wearing a pair of sweatpants and her I Hate Monday's Garfield shirt and suddenly the balloon doesn't feel stupid. It feels like fate, just like Leslie walking in that door the first time was. 

She sees the balloon first. 

"This is for you," Leia says as Star comes over to sniff her. 

"Oh! Thank you so much," Leslie says, taking the balloon. "I love it and I love you."

Ben says nothing as he watches them embrace. He takes in the stray tear racing down Leslie's cheek, the way she clutches Leia's wild curls and once again, his heart feels so full it could burst. 

"We got a cake too," Ben says. 

"A cake?" Leslie says as they pull away from each other. "What kind?

"White, I think. It was all they had left."

"Oh, well, cake is cake," Leslie says, following Ben into the kitchen. While she grabs plates and forks, Ben opens the box and stands back. "Okay, so let's dig into this bad-"

She stops mid sentence, just staring at the cake, at those four words written in red icing. 

Ben says nothing. He just waits, holding Leia's hand. It occurs to him that the ring is upstairs, but he'll give it to her later. Right now he just needs her to say yes. 

"Is this real?"

He smiles, walking over to her. "Yes."

"You didn't just go to the bakery and they had this cake because some other guy forgot to pick it up?"

"He wrote it specifically for you. Didn't he, Leia?"

"Daddy paid him 200 dollars!" Leia announces climbing onto the counter to get closer to the cake. 

"Wow," Leslie says, wiping her face before taking a deep breath. Then she looks up, eyes locking with his. In them he sees his future. It's filled with kisses and slow hugs and three am feedings and so much happiness he's not sure he deserves it. But he'll take it. He'll take all of it. 

And when she finally says, "Yes," he kisses her for as long and as hard as he can, until Leia demands they eat the cake already. 

"Yeah, Ben," Leslie says with bright eyes and a huge smile. "Let's eat the cake already." 

He smiles back, knowing his eyes are just as bright, voice just as choked. "Let's." 

 

\--

"We have so much to do," Leslie says after they put Leia to bed and retire to their room, "I need to call mom and Ann and-"

"Before you do that," Ben interjects, "I have something for you."

"Really?" Leslie's smile is wide, teasing. "Is it in your pants?"

Ben laughs against her lips as her fingers dance across his crotch. It's almost impossible not to deepen the kiss and throw her on the bed and have his way with her, but he manages to resist. 

"Actually, no," he says, making her pout. "In a minute. This is more important."

"More important than your penis?" Leslie makes a face like she doesn't believe such a thing is possible. "Okay." 

He kisses her again, cupping her chin in his hand. "You're going to get it for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah," she says, almost breathless. "That and your flat little butt." 

Ben shakes his head. He's never going to be used to her obsession with his backside. "Okay. Close your eyes." 

She grins and sits on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes. He turns and goes to his dresser to retrieve the ring. 

"Are they closed?" 

"Yes!"

"You sure?" Ben asks, taking the box out of the drawer and cupping it in his hand. "I don't need to blindfold you do I?"

"Positive," Leslie says, "though I like that idea." 

Ben turns around. Her eyes are closed, though he's pretty sure she's peaked. He doesn't care though, because the moment he takes the ring out of the box and gets on one knee, he realizes the other two proposals were just practice.

She opens her eyes and gasps again. 

"I know you already said yes, but I don't think it's really official until I put this on you."

"Oh." She reaches up and wipes her eyes. "Well you know how I feel about things being official."

"I do," Ben says, taking her hand and a deep breath at the same time. There's so many things he wants to say to her, about how much he's in love with her and how he wants to be with her forever, but he settles for, "Will you marry me, Leslie Knope?" because it feels best. 

"Yes," she says, crying. He slips the ring on and leaps up to kiss her. They fall on the bed, limbs quickly becoming tangled together. 

"So," Ben says when they finally pull apart for breath, "about this blindfold-"


End file.
